The Secret

It was midnight when Ellie and Poppy got back to the house. Poppy was yawning but Ellie was too excited to sleep.

‘So, did you have a good time, honey?’ Poppy asked her, slipping out of her stilettos.
‘I had a great time!’ Ellie grinned at her. Poppy eyed her friend shrewdly.

‘Fancy a tequila?’ She looked at her.

‘Sure, why not?’ Ellie had no idea she was giving off an aura that Poppy recognised in her as excitement but there was something else that she couldn’t put her finger on.

They sat at the kitchen table and Poppy poured two shots. They clinked glasses and threw them into their mouths. Poppy grinned and refilled their glasses and within 15 minutes, the remainder of the tequila was gone and they sat giggling like a pair of schoolgirls.

‘Right…’ Poppy leaned across the table and stared at Ellie ‘Spill, I want to know the details, now.’ Her eyes were boring into her and Ellie giggled, she knew exactly what she was getting at.

‘I gave him my number, he invited me to dinner, I said yes.’ Ellie looked away to slip off her shoes.

‘I knew it! I knew there was something going on with you two! But Ellie, he’s so much older than you!’

’22 years is nothing, really…’ Ellie was rubbing her foot and she suddenly realised what she had said. She was finding it a chore keeping secrets from Poppy and decided it was time to tell her the truth, to save her own sanity.

Poppy looked at her. ‘You found out his age already and worked out the age gap that quickly?’

Ellie laughed. ‘I can’t do this any more, Poppy; I can’t keep secrets from you.’

‘What are you going on about? Are you drunk?’ Poppy looked as confused as she felt.

Ellie took a deep breath and was about to speak when her mobile phone rang. It was almost 1 a.m. and her first thought was the children. She lifted the phone quickly.

‘Hello?’ Her voice was worried.

‘Hi, hope it’s not to early to call.’ It was Alan.

‘Oh, it’s you!’ Ellie couldn’t keep the smile off her face. ‘I was worried in case it was the kids.’

Poppy was watching her closely, her eyes curious. Ellie was a fast worker if he was calling her already.

‘I was wondering if dinner tomorrow is too soon?’ He was smiling, she could tell.

‘No, that would be great. Where?

‘Well, I’d quite like to cook for you, is that OK? Do you remember the way to the flat?’ He sounded excited.

‘Yes, of course. I remember.’ She laughed.

‘Great. 7.30 OK?’ He couldn’t wait to see her.

‘Perfect. See you then’.

Ellie put the phone down and closed her eyes. He sounded so good on the phone and she couldn’t wait to see him.

Ellie looked up at Poppy, who had her head propped up on her hands, looking at her quizzically.

‘What is going on, Ellie?’

Ellie smiled and sighed deeply. 'It's a long story, so I hope you're prepared to stay up a while longer.'

'Good grief, will you just spit it out. And it had better be worth it, I'm knackered!' Poppy grinned.

Ellie laughed, 'Ok, Ok... well..you remember I told you I had an affair and fell in love?’

Poppy nodded ‘I know, not your smartest move…’

Ellie took a deep breath.

‘It was Alan.’

Ellie looked at her and bit her lip, waiting for Poppy’s reaction.

Poppy’s jaw dropped and she stared at Ellie incredulously. Ellie laughed at her.

‘I should have told you before, just to shut you up!’


***********************************************************

Ellie woke up slowly, lifted her head off her pillow and looked at the bedside clock. It was almost 11.30 a.m. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head, closing her eyes again.
Baggy jumped up on the bed and purred loudly in her face before curling up on the pillow next to her. She opened one eye.

‘What do you want?’ She murmured. He sounded like a small moped and he was dribbling. ‘ That’s not attractive you know, Baggy.’ She reached up and scratched between his ears and he purred even louder, rubbing his head affectionately into her hand.

Ellie suddenly remembered she was seeing Alan later that night. She smiled to herself, and then started laughing. She kicked the duvet off and screamed, kicking her legs with an excitement she couldn’t contain. She felt 25 again.

Baggy squealed and jumped off the bed, his ears back, the fur on his tail fluffed up in fear as he went running out of the room.
‘Sorry Baggy!’ Ellie laughed after him.

She jumped up out of bed and messed her hair up, still grinning to herself. ‘Get a grip, for gods sake!’ She told herself. She had butterflies in her stomach, like a teenager on a first date.

Ellie wandered downstairs and started to tidy up from the night before.

Poppy had listened, without interrupting, as Ellie had told her the whole story of how she met Alan. They stopped half way through to cook pizza and opened a tin of lager to share, both of them still in their finery. Poppy had hugged her tightly and she went to bed with all of her advice ringing in her ears.

‘Do you still love him?’ She had asked.

‘How the hell do I know? It’s been over 16 years…’ Ellie had said.

‘How old is Sam, 20? You still love her don’t you? True love lasts Ellie, and you should have seen the way he was looking at you, his tongue was hanging out’

‘Don’t be silly’ Ellie grinned. She hoped it was true.

‘Make sure you don’t go in all guns blazing tomorrow…make him work for it!’

Poppy was totally rubbish at giving love advice.

‘What do you think I’m going to do Poppy, walk in and ask if he wants a shag as soon as I walk in the door?’ Ellie looked at her, shocked.

‘Well, whatever floats your boat, I say. This is Kismet, Fate… Cupid flying about with his little arrows…’ Poppy grinned.

Ellie laughed. ‘Oh my god. You will be picking out my wedding outfit next!’

‘You should wear blue, it shows off your eyes…’ Poppy looked at her. She was being serious and Ellie threw a pizza crust at her.

‘Seriously, Ellie. I know Alan. He doesn’t do anything without thinking it through and I can imagine him being the type of man who falls in love for life. If he loved you then, he loves you now. I’d bet my house on it, Baggy included.’

Poppy looked at her friend in a new light. Imagine, her mate Ellie with Alan Rickman! Even Poppy had to admit that it would be a good match.

‘I still care about him, Poppy, I really do. I don’t want to be too hopeful, we’ve probably both changed a lot.’

Ellie finished her lager and looked at the clock. It was 4 a.m.

‘I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.’

Poppy had stood and hugged her, whispering in her ear. ‘Pack a toothbrush, just in case…’ Ellie had rolled her eyes and they both giggled.


Ellie was laughing to herself, her hands in the washing up, when the doorbell rang. She was wearing her pyjama’s, blue fleece with pink rabbits that Ben had bought her for Christmas. She looked down and thought it was probably the postman, and shrugged.

She yawned a little as she opened the door and gasped as she saw Alan standing there.

‘Hi..’ he smiled at her.

‘Hi…’ She smiled back. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Can I come in for a minute… I wont keep you long.’ He smiled.

‘Oh…god, yes, please, come in…’ She stepped aside and he walked past her into the hallway.

They stood looking at each other, smiling for a moment until Ellie remembered her manners.

‘Oh, I’m hopeless, only just got out of bed…’ She looked at him grinning.

‘So I see…’ He grinned at her pyjamas.

‘They were a gift from Ben… otherwise I wouldn’t be wearing them, believe me!’ She laughed.

‘Come through, Poppy’s still asleep. Do you want a coffee?’

‘Coffee would be great, thanks.’ He followed her into Poppy’s kitchen and looked at the debris on the table as he sat down.

Ellie put the kettle on and was relieved to find she didn’t feel nervous with him here, in fact she felt totally normal.

She turned and looked at him and then saw the lager can and empty tequila bottle, plus the remnants of pizza. She quickly lifted everything and laughed, waving the empty tequila bottle at him.

‘Poppy’s idea…’ She grinned.

‘Of course.’ He smiled. Even in blue fleece she looked good, her hair was curly again and she was more like the Ellie he remembered.

She made coffee and sat opposite him. ‘So…. Have you come to cancel our date already? She grinned at him, desperately hoping she was wrong.

‘No, not at all. Actually I feel a bit of an idiot. I managed to spill wine over your ‘phone number last night after we spoke, so I couldn’t ring to see if you eat fish. I thought I would just come and ask you rather than poison you!’ he smiled at her and Ellie felt a warm glow as she gazed at him.

And gazed at him…

‘Ellie?’ He spoke to her and laughed as she realised she was staring at him.

‘I’m still rubbish at being subtle, aren’t I?’ She laughed.

‘I think life is too short for subtle, don’t you?’ He smiled at her and leant across the table, taking her hand in his.

Ellie felt suddenly shy and looked down at his hand in hers. She gently ran her thumb across the back of his hand and smiled to herself.

‘I can’t tell you how good it is to see you, Ellie.’ He looked at her and she saw hidden depths behind his eyes.

‘I feel the same way.’ She smiled at him.

‘I’d better get going. I’ll see you tonight then?’ He smiled and she let go of his hand, reluctantly.

They stood and she walked him to the door, opening it to let him step outside.

He paused in the open door way and walked back in, closed the door with his hand and pushed Ellie up against the door gently with his firm body, his arm around her waist as she put her hands on the front of his shirt, feeling his chest beneath the fabric.

Their faces were close and Ellie could see his eyes burning with remembered passion. Ellie gasped at the feel of him pushing against her, he felt so good.

‘Alan..I..’ she began but he interrupted her, covering her mouth with his and kissing her gently, his lips pressing softly against hers. She kissed him back slowly, savouring the taste of him after all the years in between.

He pulled away and looked at her. ‘Sorry… I just had to…’

‘Don’t apologise…I’m very glad you did.’ She smiled and took hold of his shirt, pulling him towards her and kissing him, firmly and confidently. The pulled apart and smiled at each other and she opened the door to let him out.

‘Alan…’ She called after him. He turned and looked at her, a smug smile on his face that he couldn’t hide. ‘I do eat fish…’

He opened the gate and laughed to himself.