Tea & Biscuits

'Did you make this? Alan asked, taking another forkful of lasagne.

'Yep...' Beth laughed 'Me and Marks and Spencer's!'

'Ahhhh... I did wonder. It tastes so good....' Alan laughed at her. Her lack of cooking skills had always been a source of amusement.

'I did however, make the salad...' Beth presented him with the bowl of pre-packed leaves sprinkled with bottled vinaigrette.

'Brilliant!' he smiled at her. It was like old times, when they would meet as friends and talk, joke and spend companionable time together.

The bottle of wine was almost empty and they were both feeling relaxed as the alcohol started to course through their veins.

Going into the kitchen, Alan grabbed another bottle, opened it and brought it through to the dining room.

Beth was sitting twirling the stem of her glass, biting her bottom lip in thought.

Her hair had grown longer and curled lightly at the ends, some of it hanging down her back, some laying over her shoulder.
The candle-light high-lighted the copper in her chestnut colour and reflected in her blue eyes. Alan thought she had never looked so alluring and sat quickly to hide his growing erection.

Alan filled their glasses. Beth looked at him through her eyelashes and smiled shyly.

'Thanks...Alan....' 'Oh god... how good does he look tonight?' she thought and a tingling started between her legs, a combination of the alcohol and the company she was in.

'Penny for your thoughts...' He spoke quietly but his voice was resonating with unbidden emotion. He was very much in love with Beth but still wary.

Beth took a long sip of her wine, put down her glass and stared into it.

'I saw Sally today.' She said.

'Really, how is she?'

Alan didn't understand Beth's meaning. She saw Sally each week at work, it was not an unusual thing for her to say.

'No... I mean... I had a session with her...you know...'

Beth had told Alan about her counselling although they had never discussed it in detail. He raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

'I see. And..did it help?' He didn't want to pry but he was a little confused.

'I don't know yet. It depends...on you.'

Beth took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly. Her stomach was in knots. This could either make or break whatever it was that was happening between them and she wasn't ready for it to end, not yet.

'Do me a favour, OK? I need to talk, I need you to just listen... it's taken me all day and a bottle of wine to get this far and I don't want to trip up at the last fence!' She smiled warmly at him.

He smiled back at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

'No problem, Boss, whatever you say...'

He tried to keep his voice light but it hid the emotions so close to the surface. He had never been so scared in his life and he thought, despite everything, that he was going to lose her. 'She's letting me down gently...' he thought, his heart sinking.

'It's about Steve. Well, about his letter really... and Mum and.... ' Beth was gabbling, tripping over her words in her haste to get them out.

'Beth....slow down...it's OK. I'm here, I'm listening. Take your time.'

Alan's voice was calm, his hand lay gently on her bare shoulder, soft and warm. Again the reassurance she felt in his presence washed over her and she started again.

'Sorry....Ok. Well, I spoke to Sally and told her about the letter and about Mum, but thats a different issue, I can tell you about that some other time...maybe.' Beth bit her lip, wondering if there would be another time.

'The main thing I spoke to her about was...us.' She looked at him, her eyes wide. They had agreed to keep things quiet and she didn't know how he would react.

He looked at her, his face unreadable, so she continued.

'I told her that we are sharing your flat and that we...you know.'

She blushed, a pink flush highlighting her cheeks. It was making her look very pretty, especially as she was licking her lips, a nervous reaction Alan had noticed before.

'I told Sally...' Beth looked into her wine glass, avoiding his eyes.

'I told her...how much I love you, how much I want you.... I...'

Beth's voice broke with emotion as she spoke. Saying the words made her feelings all the more real and it was washing over her, a lump in her throat.

Alan leaned forwards, his elbows on the table, his hand gently taking Beth's and stroking the palm with his fingers. His eyes were on her wrist but he wasn't focussed, he was just hearing the words she had spoken over and over in his head.

'I want you'.

Beth took a deep breath

'The thing is, when he comes out...he will come looking for me. I know that he will. His letter was just...awful'

She whispered, the memory sending a shiver down her back.

'And I am so worried...about you, Alan. If this gets out, that you're seeing a rape victim... and if he finds out, he could go after you, or to the papers...your career,Alan, I know how much it means to you...this whole situation could ruin your reputation. I couldn't let that happen, I would never ever forgive myself....'

'The point I am trying to make is...'

Beth gulped, not quite believing what she was about to say.

'...is that maybe we should end this, before we go too far. Because if I love you this much in so short a time, it will be even harder to leave you later, when Steve gets out and starts to cause chaos...which he will, I know it.'

Alan stopped stroking her hand and let go, staring at her, his eys unfathomable, a look she didn't recognise.

'Alan...?'

He stood up, kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room.