I Can't Look At You Anymore

*****GERARD'S P.O.V*****

The next morning I woke up, hung-over.
Forget this, I thought and rolled over back to sleep.
I woke some time later.
I remembered the night before.
I felt so unclean.
I walked into the bathroom I shared with Mikey.
Two years ago this was where it all began.

*****Flashback*****
I had been teased, picked on and joked about all day.
It was a fucked day.
I was standing in the shower, and again I was a failure.
I swore I wasn't going to cry about this anymore, yet the tears won't stop.
I was eighteen.
It was my senior year and I had spent it alone except for this one guy named Ray who used to be in my class but he had to move.
Mikey was the only one I spoke to but he only spoke to me because he was my brother, he had to.
Just as I was thinking about him, he walked in.
"I'm in here" I called out.
"I know" he answered.
Before I knew what was going on he was in the shower with me.
"Mikey?! What the fuck?!" I spun around.
"Shhh." He put his finger to my lips. "You've been crying again, Gee. Let Mikey make it better." He brought his lips to mine.
I freaked out!
"What are you doing?!!!"
"You don't like it?" he asked, kissing me again.
I closed my eyes and opened my lips allowing his tongue to explore my mouth.
To my surprise I was enjoying it.
He broke the kiss and moved his lips to my neck.
My whole body began tingling.
"Mikey we..."
"Shhh." He whispered, "you don't want mom to hear us, Gee." He placed his hand on my dick.
I gasped.
"Shhh," he hummed softly as he started stroking softly.
My brain was screaming HELLO? GERARD? THIS IS WRONG! VERY WRONG!
He sucked harder on my neck, pulling faster and faster.
I was so hard and his hands on me felt so damn good.
"Mikey, oh god!" I moaned out. I shuddered as I came into his hand.
He brought his hand to his mouth.
He looked into my eyes.
His eyes were wide with hunger as he pressed his lips to mine and kissed me deeply.
I screwed my face up; I could taste my self in his mouth.
He pulled away and smiled at me sweetly.
"Gee, I love you." I closed my eyes, I was confused, I'd never even looked at a guy before, let alone my little brother.
I opened my eyes to see Mikey on his knees.
"Mikey! What are you doing?" I asked but I didn't need him to answer me.
Her wrapped his lips around my cock and slowly moved his head back and forth.
I was hard again in an instant, he swirled his tongue over and under, sending my body into a frenzy.
My legs were shaking my legs were shaking I was loosing my balance.
My head went light.
The color in my vision was playing up.
My breathing was faster.
My heart racing against my ribcage. I couldn't control the moaning.
Mikey dug his nails into my thighs and held me still.
"Mikey I'm going to, oh, oh, Mikey!" I cried out as I exploded into his mouth.
I slid down the glass shower wall and sat on the floor.
Mikey looked thoroughly pleased with himself as he wiped my hair off of my face.
I was still dazed, shocked slightly but I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
"The waters getting cool, lets get out, Gerard." He said to me.
After I managed to stop my legs from shaking I climbed out of the shower and found a towel.
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my flushed face.
Who knew that my brother would be the one to give me my first orgasm?
He walked up behind me and put his hands around my waist.
"Gee,"
"Mmmm?"
"Let me fuck you" he said pushing his hardness towards me.
I nodded.
He pushed me gently until I was positioned over the bathroom cupboard.
"Gerard, baby this is going to hurt."
I felt him put something cold on me, lube I suppose.
He pushed himself into me slowly.
I had to stop myself from screaming out.
It hurt so badly.
I felt the tears welt up in my eyes.
I looked up at him through the mirror.
"I'm so sorry Gerard." I could see he was worried about me.
I shook my head, I wanted him to have the same pleasure that he had given me.
He moved in and out of me slowly getting faster and faster with each thrust.
It began to feel good, somehow and each time he moaned out I felt hot.
Like he was moaning out just for me.
Then I realized he was.
Mikey was moaning just for me.
I bucked my hips in rhythm with his thrusts.
"Mmmm Gee, oh fuck," he threw his head back.
He put his head back down and looked into my eyes.
"I love you Gerard"
"I love you too, Mikey"
He grabbed my hips and came deep inside of me.
"Fucking hell Gerard that was so hot!" he leaned down and kissed my back as he pulled out.
"Boys dinners on!" mom cried out from downstairs.
Mikey grabbed a towel from the rail and walked towards the door.
"Mikey, have you done this before?" I asked.
He put his glasses back on and turned to look at me.
"With you Gee?" he smiled slyly, "every night in my dreams"
And he left me standing naked in the bathroom.
*****End Flashback*****
Just remembering our first time was making me hot.
Why the hell did he have to go and fuck Frank?
Then I remembered.
I fucked someone else too.
I felt so dirty.
So I showered and scrubbed down hard.
I'm so sorry Mikey, I slept with someone else, and I'll never be just yours again.
I finished my shower and went downstairs.
Grabbed something to eat and sat down to watch soapies with my mom.


Grabbed something to eat and sat down to watch soapies with my mom