The Road To Hell

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, ENJOY!



ANGEL'S POV





It's bad when you can't get high, but it's even worse when the drugs are right there in the same room as you and you still can't get high.



If only Manson would leave for a few hours so I can get my hands on the contents inside the couch....But ever since he found out about my drug use last week, he insists upon staying up under my ass. And aside from all of the arguing with Manson, it has been utter hell. 7 days of hallucinations, vivid nightmares, exhaustion, feeling sick, feeling things crawl under my skin, and overall just feeling like shit. I think this time is even worse than my first time trying to get clean.



Maybe because heroin is stronger than cocaine, or maybe because before I actually wanted to be sober. Not that I don't want to to get off of drugs, I really wish I could, but it has a strong hold on me, and that worries me. I'm teetering on the edge of the abyss, threatening to fall over the edge and that absolutely frightens me to the core, yet I can never stop.



Maybe it's my addictive personality and that's why I can't end my abusive relationship or stop my affair with Stephen even though it feels wrong at times. Perhaps I'm just a glutton for punishment.



"Do you want a glass of wine while we decorate the tree", Manson asked snapping me from my thoughts. "Or can you not fucking control yourself? And are you going to let us end the night with you vomiting your guts up while Sarah or myself hold your hair?", he added rudely. Ah, there it is. His snide remark of the day. This week has been full of them.



"Just give me the goddamn glass", I hissed, gesturing towards the stemless wine glass he held in his hand, an arms length away from me.



Manson shoved the glass of wine in my hand and I immediately almost downed the entire glass in one drink. Just as he was about say something rude, Sarah cut him off.



"Can y'all...NOT...do this on Christmas Eve?", she said lowly, shaking her head.



"We could...NOT...but this fucker always has to ruin a moment by talking shit", I spat.



Sarah hummed in thought. "Maybe you should ignore it then....", she said, while absent mindlessly swirling her wine around in its glass. And there's that. No matter what Manson says or does, he can do no wrong in Sarah's eyes, as long as he is keeping the needle out of my arm, by whatever means necessary.



After that, we sat in awkward silence on the couch next to each other, staring straight ahead, watching Manson fumble with the Christmas lights in an effort to untangle them.



"I still can't get used to this California weather...", Sarah finally spoke, in an attempt to break our awkward silence. "...I still feel like it should be snowing, or at least 30 degrees outside for it to be Christmas, or winter for that matter.", she continued.



"Really? I find it pleasant. It's one of my favorite things about living in California", I responded, still not looking at Sarah.



"Feel free to pitch in and help at any time", Manson huffed, interrupting us. I stifled a giggle as Sarah and I moved to help him, but stopped as I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.



Knowing that it could be Stephen, I didn't want to answer it in front of Manson and Sarah, so I turned on heel and tried to leave the living room as quickly as possible.



"And where do you think you're going?!", Manson called out to me. Ugh.



"Um, to the bathroom?", I replied, making my statement sound more like a question.



"Ah", he said simply and began disentangling the lights from his body and made his way over to me. Yeah, this is happening. Manson has been escorting me to the bathroom and then waits outside the door. He instructs me to leave the door unlocked so if he feels I'm taking too long, he can walk in. Needless to say, there have been plenty of awkward intrusions....



"What do you need to do?", Manson asked as we approached the hall bathroom.



"I need to take a piss....Since you must know", I replied, rolling my eyes.



"Yeah, I do need to know because you can't be trusted. I gave you freedom and trust and you blew it, so now you will have no privacy. If you fuck this up then I WILL start coming inside the bathroom with you. Don't fuck with me. Now, you have three and a half minutes starting now", Manson said as he glanced at his phone to note the time and slouched against the wall.



"This is so fucking ridiculous, Manson.", I snapped.



"I agree, it is ridiculous. But if you don't like the predicament you're in, why don't you go, roll up your sleeves, take a look in the mirror, and ask yourself why you're in this position and why you've been stripped of your dignity", Manson retorted with a dangerous tone to his voice.



"If you don't trust me more than this, to the point I can't be behind a closed door, then why are you with me?", I asked through gritted teeth. It was a genuine question. Most people would have ended a dysfunctional relationship like mine and Manson's a long time ago. I was beginning to feel as if our relationship was like a busted vase that we keep trying to piece back together, bust again then piece back together until the pieces just won't fit anymore. I don't want Manson to leave me or question why he's with me, I just sincerely want to know why he would rather live like this than wash his hands of me.



"Three minutes and ten seconds", he said in a low, shaky voice. It sounded almost as if he were going to cry.



"Please, just answer me, Manson", I requested.



"Three minutes", he said more sternly, not looking at me.



I glared at him a moment then walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, but not daring to lock it.



I ripped my phone from my pocket as quickly as possible, and was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't Stephen, but was in fact Tiffany that called me and sent me a text. "Hey, haven't heard from you or seen you in awhile. I heard about what happened last week, I just wanted to check and see if you're okay", she sent.



I answered her text saying, "Hi! Great to hear from you. I'm fine, but Manson won't let me go back to work. Sorry I haven't contacted you sooner, but this week has been incredibly hectic."



"I see...Are you free tonight? I would love to see you. Meet me at the beach.", she said.



"Will do", I answered. Though it was probably pretty stupid of me to agree to meeting up with her, Manson would never let me out of his sight....



"What the fuck are you doing in there? I don't hear anything, don't make me come in!", Manson yelled from the other side of the door. Ew. Now that's just fucking gross....



I quickly took a water bottle that I conveniently have under the sink and poured it in the toilet to sound like I pissed. I hid the water bottle in here after the first time I realized he listens at the door like some sort of sick weirdo. But since the bathroom is my only excuse for alone time to text Stephen or clear my head, and since Manson is a controlling creep, I knew I had to do it.



Afterwards I tucked my phone away, flushed, and washed my hands, and stepped out of the bathroom just in time before Manson entered, he already was twisting the doorknob in his hand. My time had been long up.



"You're fucking disgusting, do you know that?", I told him as I walked past him.



"Of course", he said callously, trailing behind me.



"I don't think I feel comfortable with you listening at the door while I fucking go to the bathroom", I said, entering our bedroom, not feeling like watching Manson and Sarah's Christmas festivities, decorating, and pretending to be happy.



I don't even see the point in all of it, none of us are Christians or give two-fucks about the season of jolliness, cheer, and gift giving. This was all for Manson's parents, all of it. That's why he has waited around until the day before they got here to set everything up. And here I am not seeing my parents because of this fucker so he doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not, but here he is playing pretend when it's his family. Not that they didn't know he's the Antichrist, but he respects them enough to honor their tradition. Maybe Ryan was right after all and Manson was really trying to keep me isolated from my family. Sure, we already weren't talking from when I moved in with Jeff, but that would have been long blown over by now.



"Like I've told you all week, you're being stripped of your dignity....Besides, usually when children are too quiet, they're up to no good", Manson said, stepping in behind me and closing the door.



"You keep doing that, referring to me as a child, yet do you say that when you're trying to shove your cock in me?", I asked, not regretting the vulgarity of my statement not even slightly as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and my wrist tightly, spinning me around to reveal his face full of rage as his nostrils flared.



"What are you going to do? Hit me?", I mocked, then couldn't contain the wicked grin that spread across my face, though I don't know why I did that. Before I would be numb from drugs, now I would feel everything, and that's definitely not pleasant.



But the strike never came, he stared down at me intensely a moment, his jaw clenched tightly so I knew he was restraining himself, then without warning he shoved me across the room making me fall to the floor with a loud thud.



Just then I remembered I was supposed to be meeting Tiffany at the beach, and by royally pissing Manson off even if I did have a slight chance at getting out of the house before, that opportunity would be gone now, so I had to get creative.



I know I'm Manson's only weakness, and seeing me suffering and in pain would snap him out of his anger, so I did what I knew best: had a withdrawal. Not a real one, but I had them frequent enough to fake one.



I began to breath heavily, rock slightly, and claw at my skin, and sure enough within seconds Manson dropped to his knees by my side and began cradling me in his arms. "I love you....It's okay....I'm here", he whispered in my hair as he rocked me slightly.



I slapped him as hard as I could and raked my nails across his face. Hehe....



Manson gently restrained my hands, but showed no aggression towards me and continued to kiss me and coo reassurances against my hair. I slowly began to return to "normal", but oh how I could raise a hand to Manson's beautiful little face again....



"Are you okay, my Angel?", he asked when he felt it was over.



I nodded slightly.



"You're getting better, sweetheart, that one wasn't as bad as the rest", he said lifting my face to meet his gaze. He was smiling warmly and proud. What a dumbass....



"It didn't feel as bad either", I said, giving a sheepish grin.



His smile grew and he captured my lips in a searing kiss. I almost forgot what I was doing. I need to keep my head so he will fall for my little plan.



Seconds later, I ripped my lips from his and began rocking again. "Manson, I need to get out of the house and clear my head", I said softly and distressed. He remained quiet as if contemplating my words.



"Please, baby. Just an hour or two at the most", I added.



"Okay. But I'm going with you", he said. Ugh.



"I need to be alone, please trust me. I swear I will be a good girl", I assured him, jokingly.



"I can't fucking believe I'm letting you do this", he said, pulling away from me and shaking his head. "Be back in an hour. I will be able to tell if you're high and I would hate to be you if are, you will be kept in the room and not see the light of day until you're sober, do you understand?", he said in a serious tone.



Yeah, whatever, motherfucker. "I understand, and I swear I won't get high", I said. Well, unless I get the chance.



I quickly jumped up and hurried out of the house before he changed his mind.



Driving to the beach actually was really nice and I did get to clear my head. It was nice being away from Manson for awhile.



When I arrived, I received a text from Tiffany telling me to find her in the parking lot, which wasn't hard to do seeing as if her car was bright orange and hardly any other cars were here.



She leaned against her car puffing a cigarette, seeming to not notice me as I pulled in beside her, so I honked a few times.



"Finally, there you are! Took you long enough", she cheered as she walked to the passenger side of my car and got inside.



"Yeah, sorry about that", I said, shrugging.



"Well you're here now. I missed you", she said, leaning in to give me a tight hug.



I don't know what came over me or why, but I brought one of my hands up from her back and wound a hand in her hair. She immediately responded by allowing her hands to roam over me.



She pulled away from me and smirked. Though I barely knew her, this felt so right. Maybe because of all of our hardcore flirting at work. It even raised an eyebrow with Sarah.



"Well come on, let's go to the beach", she said, tugging on my hand.



I giggled as she pulled my hand, not letting go, forcing me to climb over her seat and get out on her side.



"I've never been to the beach before", I told her as we pulled off our shoes and wiggled our toes in the sand.



Tiffany cocked her head to the side and looked at me puzzled. "You live in L.A. and have never been to the beaches here?", she asked.



"Well, I've only been living here a few months. I'm from Texas", I told her, just now realizing we were still holding hands.



"Oh, I see. Should have known with your southern accent...Well what brings you out here?", she questioned, beginning to pull me along again so we neared the water.



"....Manson", I said lowly.



"How did you even meet him anyway? How long have you two been dating?", she asked. Now I felt awkward. She must have sensed the tension because she stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face me with look of mortification.



"Shit. I'm sorry, that's awkward and rude as hell. Forget I asked", she gasped. "So, Angel, tell me more about yourself", she said, changing the subject, which was greatly appreciated.



I shrugged. "There's not really much to say....I'm pretty boring", I said simply.



"Oh, somehow I find that hard to believe", she said, smirking. "But since you're uncomfortable telling me much about yourself, let's start with boring basics", she added, teasingly and pulled me into the sand and plopped down next to me. It was a bit chilly now. I curled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.



"How old are you?", she asked.



"19. You?", I answered.



"21", she responded.



"What's your real name?", I asked.



"Tiffany is my real name", she said matter-of-factly.



"You dance with your real name? Don't you know how dangerous that is?", I inquired, furrowing my eyebrows.



Tiffany rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Yeah, mom, I know it's risky, but as a stripper you should know customers tend to find out your real name anyways, especially if they're obsessed enough with you to try something. Besides, since Tiffany is my stage name, customers automatically assume it's fake and would never think much of it anyways", she said playfully, lying back in the sand.



"Anyways, what's your favorite color?", she asked.



I laughed and shook my head. "You weren't kidding when you said you were going to start with 'boring basic' questions", I said, joining her, lying in the sand.



Tiffany chuckled and snuggled up closer to me.



"You party", she stated, after sobering from her laughter.



"Excuse me?", I asked, raising an eyebrow.



Tiffany quirked an eyebrow and ran a finger tip along the track marks on my now exposed forearm. I quickly pulled my arm away and pulled my sleeve down, feeling a blush creep up on my cheeks. Fuck, did everyone know?



"Don't get so defensive, I'm definitely not judging. I smoke heroin", she said, shrugging slightly. Well don't I have all the luck meeting every drug addict in the state.



"I wouldn't have guessed", I responded.



"What did you expect, skin lesions, dark circles under my eyes, and for me to weigh 90 pounds? That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think? I've got my use under control", she said, sounding slightly offended.



"I guess everyone's a bit of a hypocrite", I told her. "Anyways, Manson is basically forcing me into sobriety now, so I haven't got high in a week", I added, and began chewing at my bottom lip because I just now remembered how long it has been and began to crave it.



"Do you want to get high now? I have some in the car", she informed me. God, once again it's so close, yet so far away. The offer was tempting, but I shouldn't, not yet.



"As much as I want to, I can't. Manson would never let me out of his sight again if I came home high", I told Tiffany reluctantly.



"That's too bad", she said, slowing inching closer to me again then propped herself up on her elbows and hovered over my face.



I knew what was coming, and I didn't stop it. She slowly brought her face closer to mine, smirking slightly, then brought her lips to mine in a chaste kiss. She pulled away slightly, but still was close enough for me to feel her warm breath on my lips.



"You know I have a boyfriend, you bad girl", I told her, grinning widely.



"So do I", she said and crashed her lips to mine again.



"Well what makes you think I'm 'that' kind of girl?", I muttered when she slightly pulled her lips away again.



"What kind of girl? There's nothing wrong with two girls having a little side fun without the boys", she informed me, then plunged her tongue deep into my mouth.



"Have you ever been with a woman before?", she asked against my lips, running her hand up my leg.



"Mmmhmm", I hummed against her lips.



"I knew there was something naughty behind that doe-eyed, innocent look of yours", Tiffany giggled, then finally fully pulled away from me and stood up.



"Let's get in the water", Tiffany said as she began to walk away.



I stood and began to follow her.



"It's like, 60 degrees out here, we will freeze", I said, giggling like a schoolgirl.



"Then we will have each other to stay warm", she winked, looking back at me, the pulled me by my wrist and began running towards the water.



Right when the waves hit our feet, I shivered and tried to find another way out of this.



"I don't want to get my clothes wet", I complained.



"Then, looks like we will have to take them off", Tiffany said, then ripped off her shirt and jeans, casting them aside in the sand.



I looked around to see if anyone was watching, fortunately the beach seemed deserted with no one in sight, so I slowly removed my jeans and shirt, throwing them with Tiffany's pile of clothes and stood in my panties and bra. But when did I become so conservative?



Tiffany extended a hand to me and I cautiously placed my palm in hers, then let her lead me into the freezing water.



"Fuck, it's cold", I gasped, squeezing her hand as we got waist deep into the water.



"Like I told you, we have each other to stay warm", she said, her voice shaking slightly. Yeah, she was freezing too. It made me smile, that smile only growing when Tiffany faced me and wrapped her legs around my waist then buried her fingers in my hair and kissed me again.



"Better?", she asked, rubbing her hands up and down my arms and slightly grinding on me.



"Much better", I replied, walking further into the water and wrapped my arms around her tighter, then without warning, gripped underneath her thighs and threw her backwards into the water.



She stayed under water for a moment, then popped up behind me, jumping on my back.



"Fucking asshole!", she screeched, giggling, then put a hand at the top of my head and pulled me underwater.



When I came up from underwater, the chilly air hit my skin making me shiver and my teeth chatter....It made me want to pull Tiffany to me and hold her close, so I did.



We intertwined our bodies and sort of floated and bobbed through the water in silence for awhile, occasionally heavily making out.



"So, baby, tell me more about this 'lesbian experience' of yours", Tiffany said, breaking the silence.



"Who said it was only one?", I asked, splashing her with water.



She giggled. "Just a wild guess. Was I right?", she said.



"Yeah, you were right...It was nice, from what I remember of it. My friend and I got drunk and just sort of screwed around. It was sloppy and kind of awkward. I wanted to experience it again now that I know what I like and since I'm not so shy about sexuality anymore. Not with her though, with someone else", I said, winking at her and she grinned ear to ear.



"Are you propositioning me, Angel?", She asked in an airy, innocent voice.



I didn't respond, I just grabbed her face and kissed her deeply, shoving my tongue down her throat in a needy, hungry, lust filled kiss so there was no mistaking my intentions.



After a moment, she moaned and kissed back with just as much force and lust.



I knotted my fist in her hair and pulled her head back, roughly, and began to bite and suck her neck and slipped a hand into her panties to massage her clit. I was used to being the one getting fucked, and this time with Tiffany I want to be the one doing the fucking. It didn't feel right being the aggressor with a man, but watching a female writhe under me felt absolutely delicious.



I bit Tiffany's neck roughly, sinking my teeth into her, only stopping when the flesh was battered and looked like it was going to bleed. Not that I didn't enjoy a little blood play, but because I didn't want her boyfriend to see any marks on her.



Tiffany bucked against my hand and she groaned the most beautiful moan I have ever heard. This was going to be so much fun, but we couldn't continue our little game here, so I pulled my hand away from her pussy and watched her look of frustration as she realized I wasn't going to take this any further at the moment.



"Another time, babe", I said, answering her unasked question.



"Tease", she said in a gravely voice I didn't recognize.



I smirked and glanced back at the shore. "Why is no one here? It's like we have the entire beach to ourselves. Is it always like this?", I asked, as if our whole naughty exchange didn't happen.



"Hmm, maybe because it's 11 something at night on Christmas Eve", she answered sarcastically. Fuck.



"Shit, I have to go", I said frantically, quickly rushing back to shore.



"What, why?", she asked, watching me pull on my shirt.



"Manson said I had to be back in an hour, and I'm already late", I replied, shimmying my jeans over my wet skin.



"When will I see you again, baby?", Tiffany asked, following behind me as I practically ran to my car.



"I don't know....I will call you", I said, still not paying her much mind, and attempted to shut my door, but she caught it.



"No goodbye kiss? I feel so used", she joked, making some of my distress fade and even made me smile.



I made a come hither motion with my finger and she slowly obeyed leaning in, and once she was within arms grasp, I grabbed her wet hair and pulled her face to mine, kissing her deeply, then tossed her head back.



"So rough....I like it", she said, closing my car door.



"See you soon", I called to her as I started the car and drove away.



Fortunately, when I arrived home, I wasn't as late as I thought. Manson didn't even call to check up on me which was a good sign.



I walked through the door, and he was sitting in the living room waiting for me.



"How do you feel, love? Did you clear your head?", he asked as he walked up to me.



"Yeah, I feel much better. Thank you for trusting me", I told him. Oh, aren't I the worst?



When he reached me, he furrowed his eyebrows and looked me over. "Why are you all wet? Your hair is completely drenched", he said, confused.



"I went to the beach....I'm cold, I want to go take a hot bath", I said, quickly walking past him and rushing to the bathroom. Luckily, he didn't follow, because I'm 'all wet' and 'completely drenched' in more ways than one.



***



I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY IN POSTING THIS CHAPTER, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN POSTED A WEEK OR SO AGO, BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND I WAS MAD AS HELL. THEN, AFTER RESTRAINING FROM THROWING MY PHONE AGAINST A WALL, I HAD TO REWRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN FROM MEMORY.