Playing With Fire

++++++++++



"Carrie," a voice called as Carrie got into her car. She looked to find Jason jogging towards her.



"What do you want now? You won, ok? You won. So, why don't you just leave me alone," she sighed.



"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy--"



"You don't know sh*t."



"I just wanted to tell you that you're doing the right thing," he continued, his voice soft. "For the both of you."



"Yea, because it's common that when I do the right thing I feel like I'm going to throw up. That's just a normal reaction."



"Carrie--"



"No," she replied, closing her door, and talking to him through the window. "You don't get to talk to me. Because you couldn't deal with the fact that your sister was with the girl you had a crush on. Well, boo freakin hoo. Ok? What kind of brother are you that you'd rather see your sister torn into pieces than in love, regardless of who she was in love with? Because that's what it was. It was love, or at least it was getting there, and it's a shame that you couldn't see that. It's a shame that you are too stubborn to realize that love happens, whether you want it to or not, regardless of gender. Because trust me, neither of us wanted this to happen. You think we woke up one morning and were like, I think I'm gonna throw my entire career and life away and fall for a girl? "



"Now listen--"



"No you listen," she glared. "Bite me."



And with that, she drove off, without so much as a backwards glance.



+++++++++



"Your mom wants you to come down for lunch," Ashley said, poking her head into Kelly's room.



"Maybe for dinner," Kelly replied from her desk.



"What you got there?" Ashley asked, walking into the room. "A new song?"



She frowned as she got close enough to see Kelly's computer screen, "You're playing solitaire?"



"I thought it was appropriate," Kelly shrugged. "Can you just tell my mom I'm not feeling well?"



"She's leaving after lunch," Ashley replied.



Kelly sighed, pushing her chair away from the desk and standing, "Fine."



"Are you ok?" Ashley asked carefully.



"Peachy."



"Kel?" Ashley asked, gently grabbing her arm, making her look her in the eyes.



Kelly just shook her head, biting her lip, unable to speak as the tears welled in her eyes. Ashley frowned, pulling her friend into a tight hug.



"It's gonna be ok," she soothed.



"I miss her," Kelly confided through her tears.



"I know hun," Ashley ran a gentle hand up and down her back. "I know."



++++++++



"So Kelly, you heard from Carrie?" Jeanne asked as they sat around the table for lunch. "Did she make it back ok?"



"Yea, she called this morning," Kelly lied, her stomach churning at the mention of the blonde's name. "She's fine."



"I'm sure," Jason frowned, earning a glare from Ashley.



"So where have you been all morning?" Jeanne asked, not noticing the exchange of eyes going around the table.



"Working," Kelly lied again.



"Oh, a new song?"



"Yea."



"Can I hear it?"



"Oh, ugh, it's not ready yet."



"And what was the inspiration for this new song?" Jason asked.



Kelly looked up at him fearfully.



"I mean was it a love song? Or a heartbreaker? Oh, I know. Was it something you and Carrie were working on together?"



"Oh, that would be lovely," Jeanne smiled. "You two would make a beautiful duet."



"Thanks mom," Kelly replied, stabbing her peas with her fork, pretending each one was Jason's head.



"I mean that duet y'all did for Reba's award. Y'all just have the best chemistry."



"I wonder why," Jason frowned.



"What?" Jeanne asked confusedly.



"Nothing," Kelly responded quickly. "Jason's just not feeling well. He's probably coming down with the same thing I had."



"Oh, that's not good," Jeanne frowned, eyeing her son carefully. "Maybe you should call Carrie and warn her that it was contagious."



"Yea, because she would be the first one that would have gotten it from you," Jason grumbled, his hands were shaking in anger.



"Jason," Ashley warned.



"Yea, because we spent so much time together working on that song," Kelly said, staring him in the eye.



"That, or maybe it's the fact that her tongue was down your throat!" Jason replied, standing up angrily.



Kelly took in a sharp breath, her eyes shut tight.



"Excuse me?" Jeanne asked.



"Yea," Jason replied.



"Jason," Kelly pleaded, her voice weak.



"I walked in on them."



"Please."



"They were on Kelly's bed."



"Don't," her voice was wavering.



"Carrie was on her lap."



"No," her voice was barely even audible, but the pain in it was undeniable.



"With her tongue down Kelly's throat," Jason finished, his jaw clenched.



"I-I don't understand," Jeanne said, looking between her two children.



"Really?" Jason asked. "I mean, what's there to understand. They were making out. That's all."



Jeanne looked at her daughter confusedly, "Kelly?"



She couldn't bring herself to look at her mom, "Yes?"



"What is your brother going on about?"



"Well, you see," she bit her lip. "You have to understand mom, we never meant for this to happen."



"Kelly," her mother's voice was growing stern.



"I don't even know how it happened. One day we were just hanging out, and then--"



"Kelly Brianne, you tell me what the hell is going on, right now," her mother demanded.



"Carrie and I were dating." she said, rushing the words, hoping her mother wouldn't hear them.



"You...were...what?"



"Dating," Kelly winced, waiting for the blow up.



"You said were?"



"Yea."



"So y'all aren't anymore?"



"Yea," Kelly nodded, feeling her heart drop to her stomach. "Not anymore."



"Well," Jeanne frowned, eyeing her daughter. "That's that then."



"Huh?" Kelly asked.



"What?" Jason questioned.



"Well, it's obvious it was some silly phase," Jeanne replied, then nodding as if agreeing with her answer. "Yea, that's all it was. Now, you've realized how wrong it was, and it's over. You've clearly learned your lesson. No harm done."



"Carrie. Was. Not. A. Phase," Kelly replied through clenched teeth.



"Yes, she was sweetie," Jeanne replied, her voice gentle. "The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be."



Kelly could feel the anger boiling inside of her, but Ashley grabbed her arm, "Leave it," she whispered.



"But she can't--"



"Just leave it."



Kelly sighed, but listened to her friend.



"I can't believe this," Jason sighed, grabbing his plate and walking out of the dining room.



"Well," Jeanne smiled happily. "I better get going. All my stuff's already in my car, and I want to be back home before it gets dark. So," she kissed the top of each girl's head. "I'll be seeing you later. Keep in touch this time, k, hunny?"



"Yes ma'am," Kelly replied stiffly, watching her mother walk out of the dining room.



"How could you--"



"Kelly, it wasn't worth it. Ok?"



"Of course it was worth it," Kelly replied, her eyes ablaze. "Carrie is not just a phase. She deserves more than that."



"But you said it yourself. Y'all aren't together right now."



"So?"



"So, is it worth possibly ruining your relationship with your mother for a relationship that doesn't exist?"



Kelly frowned, "I'm going in my room. Just leave me alone this time. Don't bother with dinner."



"Kel, I didn't mean it like that," Ashley replied, but didn't get a response as Kelly walked away.



++++++++



"Good news," Chris greeted as Carrie picked up her cell. She hadn't gotten out of bed in two days.



"I doubt what I view as good news and what you view as good news are the same things," Carrie replied blandly.



"Well, I think you'll consider this good news."



"Spit it out already," Carrie sighed.



"I am holding in my hand one sophomore album for Miss Carrie Underwood."



"It's done?" Carrie asked, perking up some.



"Yes ma'am, and I have to say, I think we have another number one on our hands. At least Clive thinks so," Chris smiled, flipping over the CD case in his hand.



"So, when do I get to hear it?" Carrie asked, smiling for the first time since she had left Texas.



"Well, we're planning on throwing you a little soiree up here in L.A., so whenever you get up here, it's all yours."



"Why in L.A.?"



"Well, it's RCA that's throwing it."



Carrie frowned. Of course Clive would want to show off the fact that he still had one good little idol in his grasp.



"When is it?"



"Next Friday, you're expected on Wednesday. I'm emailing you all the info, right now."



Carrie nodded, "Alright. Thanks again Chris. This is good news."



"Glad to hear it," he smiled, hanging up.



++++++



Kelly was sitting in 'the chair', while Ashley did her make-up for the video shoot. She was catching up on her emails on her Trio. A familiar face flashed onto the tiny screen, causing her to take a faltering breath.



"Well if you would hold still, I wouldn't stab you," Ashley fussed.



"I can't believe him," Kelly sighed.



"Who?"



Kelly handed the phone to Ashley, who read the email quickly.



"Since when do they have parties just because a CD is finished. Don't they normally wait until it's released?" Kelly said.



"No, that's just for you," Ashley smiled.



"I didn't even have a release party," Kelly reminded her.



"Yea, I don't think Clive thought of it as a happy occasion."



"Which is why I can't believe him," Kelly repeated. "Why the hell would invite me to a party for Carrie? He's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me anywhere around her."



"Well, that's it, isn't it? He wants to remind you of how you should act. You know, be more like Carrie, and you'll sell millions."



"But I don't want to sell millions. Why can't he get that through his head?" she asked in defeat. "All I want to do is write a song that means something to someone. I want an album that could touch someone's life. So what if it's only one person?"



"You're an amazing person," Ashley replied seriously, putting on Kelly's lip gloss. "I know I don't tell you that nearly enough, but it's true."



"No, I'm not," Kelly frowned, looking at the beautiful face on the screen that was smiling back at her.



Ashley watched her carefully.



"So are you going to go?"



"I can't," she shook her head.



"I know," Ashley frowned, spinning Kelly's chair around so she was facing the mirror. "And...you're beautiful and I'm a genius."



Kelly smiled, standing up from the chair, allowing Ashley to help her slip on the white flowy dress, "Thanks."



+++++++



"Gorgeous," Mark the director smiled, taking Kelly's hand as she walked onto the set. Which in reality was an open field with long grass and beautiful flowers gently blowing in the wind.



"Ok, so this is the performance," he explained. "I want it as real and as natural as possible, alright? So, whatever you're feeling when you sing this song, let it out. Can you do that for me?"



Kelly nodded quietly.



"Ok, so you're going to be standing, feel free to move around a bit, whatever you feel. This is all about you, ok?"



Kelly nodded once more, walking to her mark, trying to forget that beautiful face that she had saw only moments before. Even in a picture, Carrie seemed to radiate this energy.



"Playback!" Mark yelled, and Kelly heard the beginning of the song.



++++++++



Kelly felt her knees getting weak. They had ran through the song twice, and she found herself on the verge of tears. The song had always been a hard one for her to perform, but now, it was torture. The chorus and bridge reminded her of those weeks she and Carrie had spent apart, and how hard it was. And now, she would have to face the same pain and heartache all over again. She knew her eyes were watering, and she silently thanked Ashley for using water-proof mascara.



Kelly allowed herself to fall to the ground, slowly, landing on her knees. She sat on the ground, her knees bent beside her, her face down as the first tear fell. Her hands clutching the grass beneath her.



"Are you getting this?" Mark asked the camera man quietly.



"Oh yea," he replied with a smile.



"End of second chorus, playback," Mark called out, hopping Kelly would go along with it.



The music began and Kelly took a deep breath as she heard her voice coming through the speakers, she raised her gaze slightly, still not looking ahead, but not quite at the ground either as she found her mouth opening.



"Three months and I'm still standing here,

Three months and I'm getting better yea,

Three months and I still...am.

Oh-"



She bit her bottom lip as she felt it start to quiver, forcing her to take a steadying breath.



"Three months and it's still harder now.

Three months I've been living here without you now.

Three months. Three months I ho--oope."



Her head raising up to the sky as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks with the sun shining down on her. Her hands were still clenched, and her arms shaking slightly as she thought how empty it felt to wake up alone in bed, knowing that it really was over.



"Three months and I'm still breathing!

Three months and I still remember it!

Three months and wake...up."



She took a deep breath, allowing her face to fall back level, absorbing the strings that were reverberating around her.



"Three months and I'm still sober.

Picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers," she sang softly, the tears had managed to stop, but she could feel the tear-stains, and unfortunately with the sun shining down, she knew they would be evident. She couldn't help but smile slightly. What did she care about tear-stains for? She had just cried her eyes out on camera.



"And...cut!" the director called, waiting until the music had long ended. He walked over to Kelly, offering her a hand up. He hugged her gently, "That was beautiful. Do you wanna watch it?"



"You're gonna put that in there?"



"It would be wrong if we didn't," he replied honestly.



She nodded. "Well, it's not like the entire world hasn't seen me cry before," she said with a slight smile.



"True," he laughed. "That's a rap."



"Really?" she asked, exhausted. It had been a long two day shoot, and she was worn out.



"Yes ma'am."



"Thank you," she said, hugging him once more. "It's gonna be amazing. I can feel it."



"Well, it was all your idea."



"Yea, but I could never have pulled all this off."



"And you also can't take a compliment."



"Yea, no, not really," she agreed.



"Go get some sleep," Mark laughed. "You deserve it."



"No time," Kelly responded. "Second round of promotions."



"Well, good luck. We'll send you the video when it's finished."



Kelly nodded, hugging him once more before walking back to her trailer.