Irreconcilable Differences

+++++++



"Hello?" Kelly answered her phone, slightly agitatedly. She was already running late for a photo shoot, and traffic definitely wasn't helping.



"Kell?" a shaky voice replied.



Kelly let out a deep sigh.



"Ok, ok," Carrie said quickly. "Please just listen."



"Why?"



"Because I need you to."



"It's always about you isn't it?" Kelly asked. "Who can I argue with so I can seem tough? Who can I hang out with so I won't seem like a bitch? Who can I date so I can sell more records?"



"Kelly, I swear, it wasn't like that. You know you mean something to me."



"How am I supposed to know that? By the way you showed it? Cause, you made yourself pretty clear in all those interviews how much I really mean to you."



"Look, I'm sorry, ok?" Carrie sighed. "I don't know how else to say it."



"I really wish I could believe you, Care, I do," Kelly replied, honestly.



"What can I do to make you believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you? Cause I'd do anything."



"If I told you, then it wouldn't be you doing it," she pointed out.



"Kell, please..." Carrie all but begged.



"So, I got to go. I have a photshoot--"



"Oh, yea, ok. Sorry to have kept you--" Carrie replied quickly.



"No, it's fine. It was, um, it was good to..."



"Yea," Carrie smiled weakly. "I'll talk to you later?"



"Care, I got to go," Kelly frowned.



"Right. Ok. Bye then."



"Bye," she replied.



+++++++++



"What you up to?" Ashley asked, joining Kelly on the sofa who was typing away on her lap top.



"Work," Kelly scrunched up her face.



"How many emails do you get a day?"



She sighed, "I don't know. There's the ones from work. The ones from family. The ones from friends. The ones from fans who have found out my email address. Spam. Too much."



"Sounds fun."



"Exhilarating," Kelly deadpanned, making Ashley laugh.



"But hey, that looks good," Ashley said, pointing to a subject line that read 'RCA: Congratulations'.



"I've fallen for that before," Kelly sighed.



"Huh?"



"Watch," she said as she clicked on the email, then read it out loud. "RCA would like to send out a special congratulations to their very own Carrie Underwood on her Grammy nomination. It is an extreme honor for someone that has come into the business as she has to be acknowledged by her peers, so we here at the RCA family would like to honor her with a gathering..."



She didn't bother to read the rest.



"How come they're honoring her and not you? I mean you got nominated--"



"Ash, please don't," Kelly sighed, deleting the email. "That's just how the business works."



"Do you think...I mean, you won't ever get tired of it will you? There might be a point where it just isn't worth all of this?"



"You know, for a while, I thought there was, and I thought I might have actually met that point."



"But?"



"But I went on tour," Kelly laughed slightly at her own corniness as tears came to her eyes. "And I felt what it was like for my fans to sing my songs back to me. My songs that I worked so hard for and that everybody said nobody would love. I would go through all of this crap, every day, if it meant I got to feel that feeling, just once more."



"You're something else, kid. You know that?" Ashley smiled, pulling her into a half hug. "And we wouldn't have you any other way."



"Thanks Ash," Kelly sniffed with a smile.



"Anytime."



+++++++++



"So, since we got the weekend off, Jay and I were thinking about making a trip up to Nashville. You know, to check on the house. Maybe get together with some people. What do you say?" Ashley asked.



"Honestly, I'd rather stay here," Kelly admitted.



"Is this because of Carrie?"



"No," she shook her head. "Besides, she'll be in L.A. for that party, remember?"



"Yea," Ashley nodded. "You sure you don't want to come? It's gonna be fun?"



"I'm sure. I just want a quiet weekend at home. Nobody to mess with me. I'm not even gonna turn on my computer or anything. Just me...and Bear," she added as the small dog licked her finger while she scratched under his chin.



"Alright. Well, I think he said we're leaving this afternoon. You sure you'll be ok?"



"I'm a big girl, Ash. I don't need a baby sitter."



"I just don't want you to burn the house down," Ashley smiled.



"God," she drawled. "It was one fire. One! Will y'all ever let me live it down?"



"No," Ashley laughed, moving quickly out of Kelly's reach as the shorter Texan tried to swat her.



+++++++++



Kelly smiled as she settled into her nice warm bed. She could feel Bear curled up against her feet, keeping them warm. After Ashley and Jason had left, she had gotten her peace and quiet she had been craving. She had gone for a walk around her property with Bear close at her heels, just trying to find peace, and sort out everything that had happened over the past couple weeks.



More tears had been shed, but she knew they were necessary. Sometimes, you just gotta let yourself go, and really feel what's in your heart. Otherwise, you'll just be lying to yourself.



Kelly snuggled into her pillow, pulling the covers up under her chin as she felt another warm tear tumble down her cheek at the thought of snuggling into that sweet blonde. She prayed that by the end of this weekend, she'd be all cried out, and maybe a step closer to being over all of this.



+++++++++



Kelly stretched, yawning, as she woke up. She turned over to the clock that read 2 AM.



"What the hell?" she asked herself, wondering why she had woken up so early. That's when she heard it. A loud tap. She froze in her bed, hearing the noise once more, and realizing that something was hitting her window.



"I swear," she mumbled. "If it's some idiot throwing something at my window, they better hope they didn't crack it, cause I swear..."



Her voice trailed off as she pulled back the curtains slightly. She saw the outline of a woman, standing below her, holding something rather large in her hands. She felt something in her heart twinge as she hurried out her room and down the stairs. She decided to go out the back door, in hopes of being able to see her visitor without them seeing her.



She snuck around the edge of the house and was able to see the blonde girl clearly as she stood there with a guitar.



"Come on Kell," she whispered, eyes still focusing up at the window that she knew led to her bedroom.



Kelly watched her take a shaky breath as the fingers of her left hand curled around the guitar and she started to softly strum with her right. She immediately recognized the soft melody and a gentle chill ran down her back as the warm voice traveled to her.



"Far, away from it all," Carrie sang.

"You and me with no one else around.

A brand new start...

That's all we need, it's all we need,

To mend these hearts...

Back to the beginning.

Be still...let it go."



Kelly bit down hard on her lip, forcing back all the emotions that were threatening to come to surface.



"Before we lost hope,

When we still touched,

And love wasn't so hard.

Be still...I already know."



Kelly could see Carrie's arms trembling slightly, not so much with the weight of the guitar, but with the weight of the song and all that this moment stood for.



"Foolish one with the smile,

You don't have to be brave.

Every time we fall down,

But we're falling from grace.

I'll gladly climb your walls,

If you meet me halfway."



Tears stung Carrie's eyes, and she couldn't even see the window she was looking up at anymore, but she knew this was her last chance and that she had to do it. This is what the girl had wanted, all or nothing.



"Slow, slow it down.

Why do we run,

We're missing so much,

Babe, just lay...

In my arms for a while,

And be still...we should've known."



Kelly could feel her own eyes watering at the sound of that loving voice that she had so often dreamed about, begging her to let her back in.



"Foolish one with the smile,

You don't have to be brave.

I'll gladly climb your walls,

If you meet me halfway.

Every time we fall down,

But we're falling from grace.

Here's my hand an my heart,

It's yours to...take..."



Kelly knew that this was it as she watched the country singer lift the guitar strap off her shoulder and hold it gently at her side. She could either go to her and maybe, just maybe things could be great again, or she could easily just walk away and forget this ever happened.



+++++++++



"What are you doing here?" Kelly asked, walking towards her, her arms wrapped tightly around her body, protecting her both from the chilly air and from the blonde singer before her. She had decided to go to her, just to at least see what she had to say. She knew she would end up regretting it if she didn't.



Carrie jumped in surprise, turning towards her. Even in the dark, Kelly could see her cheeks turn pink.



"Kell?" Carrie asked, a hint of relief in her voice.



"Well?"



"Serenading you?" she offered with a hopeful smile.



"With one of my own songs?"



"It's not my fault you write with so much emotion."



"Weren't you supposed to be at some party tonight?" Kelly asked, trying her best to ignore the compliment.



"Yea," she nodded.



"So why are you here?"



"Because you're more important than that," she admitted. "Kell, you're more important than all of it, and I'm sorry if I made it seem otherwise, but it's true."



Kelly smiled in spite of herself. She saw Carrie visibly shiver in the cold, and her southern hospitality immediately took over.



"You must be freezing," she said quickly. "You wanna come in?"



Carrie nodded silently, allowing the shorter Texan to usher her into her home.



"Are you hungry? Or do you want anything to drink?" Kelly asked, taking the guitar from Carrie and placing it on the sofa in the living room.



"I'm fine," Carrie smiled. "Just kinda tired, I guess. Long flight."



"Yea," she nodded. "Well, um, come on."



Carrie followed her up the stairs, pausing as Kelly halted in front of the door to her bedroom.



"Um, maybe, you should sleep in the guest room tonight," she said, not quite able to meet the other girl's gaze.



Carrie opened her mouth to argue but saw the pain still remaining in Kelly's eyes and decided against it. Instead she just nodded in agreement, "That's fine."



Kelly smiled softly, "Ok, well, get some sleep, k? We'll, uh, we'll talk in the morning."



"Ok," Carrie smiled back as Kelly walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She let out a tired sigh as she made her way to the guest room.



+++++++++



"Mornin'," Kelly smiled over her bowl of cereal.



"Hey," Carrie smiled back, pouring her a cup of juice and joining her.



"Not hungry?" Kelly asked, trying her best to make small talk.



"No, not really," she admitted.



"You're not sick are you?" the level of worry in her voice, making Carrie smile.



"No, just a little nervous, I guess," she admitted.



Kelly nodded, going back to her breakfast as an awkward silence settled over them.



"Kell, can we--"



"I'm gonna go take a shower," she said, standing up and putting her bowl in the sink. "Why don't you settle in."



"I can stay?"



"Your welcome to stay as long as you want."



"Thanks."



Kelly smiled weakly before leaving the blonde alone in the kitchen.



+++++++



"The house seems quiet," Carrie commented as she joined Kelly in the living room where she was curled up on the sofa, staring at the t.v. screen.



"I know."



"Where's Jason and Ashley?" she asked, sitting next to her.



"They went to Nashville for the weekend," Kelly explained, scooting up the couch to lay her head on Carrie's lap, still watching the show that was on.



Carrie cheered inwardly, her heart racing at the sudden touch, "You didn't want to go with them?"



"No, I just wanted a quiet weekend to relax and think."



"About?"



"Us."



"How's that going?" Carrie asked, gently running her fingers through Kelly's short hair.



"Different than I thought it would be," she replied, turning onto her back to look up at the country singer.



"Good different?"



"I haven't decided yet," Kelly admitted.



"Come see," Carrie said, helping her sit up in her lap. "Do you believe me when I say that I am sorry?"



Kelly searched her eyes before replying with a soft, "Yea."



"And you know that I would never knowingly hurt you?"



"Yea."



"Then why can't we go back to where we were?" Carrie asked, pushing her hair out of her eyes.



"Why didn't you tell me you said those things?" she asked, her voice still soft.



"Kell..."



"Did you not trust me?"



"No, of course I trusted you," Carrie assured her, pulling her closer.



"Then why?" she asked, looking down at her hands that were fidgeting nervously.



"Because I trusted you," Carrie smiled. "I realized that I had finally found someone I could trust and could really become friends with, and I didn't want to mess that up."



"You should have told me," Kelly sighed.



"I know," she nodded. "But I didn't."



Kelly looked up at her.



"I can't change the past, Kell. I should have told you, but I didn't. So, I guess the question is, what are we gonna do about it?"



"I don't know," she sighed.



"I guess that's what we're gonna do this weekend then--figure things out," Carrie replied.



Kelly nodded, before looking her in the eyes, her own glistening.



"What's wrong?" Carrie asked worriedly, carefully wiping away the tears.



"I missed you," she admitted.



Carrie smiled. "I missed you too," she replied, bringing her forward to kiss her forehead before Kelly wrapped her arms around her, snuggling into Carrie's neck as the country singer held her close.



+++++++++



"So, I was thinking about having some lunch, what do you say?" Carrie asked. They were still in the same position they had been in for nearly an hour.



"What do you want?" Kelly asked, her head resting on Carrie's shoulder.



"Some good home cooking," Carrie sighed in content..



"Well, unless you're hungry for some pumpkin pie, then you're out of luck," Kelly replied. "Cause that's about all I can make."



"You know, I have a sudden craving for take-out," Carrie smiled.



"I like the way you think," Kelly laughed.



"So, which one of us is gonna get up to get the phone so we can call it in?" Carrie asked, tightening her grip around Kelly.



"You know, God invented cell phones for a reason," Kelly replied, pulling hers out of her pocket.



"I knew there was a reason I went to church," Carrie teased. "You have the restaurants numbers in your address book?"



"Hey, you don't want me to starve, do you?"



"No," Carrie smiled. "I like my Kelly with a lotta booty."



"Then be nice," Kelly laughed, swatting Carrie's hand that was traveling down her back.



++++++++



"So, I was thinking about going for a walk," Carrie announced.



"It's really nice out," Kelly nodded. "You should have fun."



"Well, I was kinda hoping you'd come with me," she said, looking at her nervously.



"Care, I don't know..."



"It's just a walk," Carrie pointed out.



Kelly thought about it for a second before nodding, "Alright. Sure."



+++++++++



"What's on your mind?" Carrie asked as they walked through the thick green grass.



"Jason needs to mow the yard," Kelly replied.



"Kell," Carrie sighed. One step forward, two steps back, she thought to herself.



Kelly just walked in silence, watching as her feet smoothed over the ground beneath them.



"I don't get it," Carrie frowned. "I thought we were getting somewhere."



"I just don't know anymore," she replied.



"Don't know what?"



"If it's worth it."



"How can you say that?" Carrie asked, stopping in her tracks. She grabbed Kelly's arm, making her stop as well.



"Care, do you realize how many people we are gonna be hurting?" Kelly asked, looking up into her eyes.



Carrie's stomach dropped at the look of resignation in her eyes. That was never something you wanted to see during one of these conversations.



"I know who we're gonna hurt if you keep talking like that," Carrie replied.



"There's so many people counting on us, and our careers. We could ruin that."



"Kell, you heard what Clive said. This isn't hurting our careers."



"What about our families?"



"They don't know," Carrie reminded her.



"So we're just going to continue lying to them?" Kelly asked, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. "They're my family. Besides, what happened to not being able to live a lie?" she said, throwing the lyrics to one of Carrie's songs in her face.



"Exactly!" Carrie replied.



Kelly looked at her, confusion written on her face.



"Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?" Carrie sang softly, her voice shaking.

"And all the reasons that make loving you so easy:

The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe,

The way you know exactly what I mean.



No, I can't learn to live without.

So don't you give up on us now," she immediately reached out, grabbing Kelly's hand as the Texan started to walk away. Carrie felt her eyes sting at the silent tears that were falling down Kelly's cheeks.



"Oh, I know I can say we're through,

And tell myself I'm over you.

But even if I made a vow,

I promise not to miss you now,

And tried to hide the truth inside,

I'd fail cause I,

I just can't live a lie."



Carrie smiled gently as she softly brushed away Kelly's tears, leaving her own to fall, "Make sure you think about all the lyrics the next time you try to quote one of my songs to me."



Kelly just shook her head, refusing to look into Carrie's eyes.



"You know, that's twice in a matter of 24 hours that I've serenaded you. That has to mean something."



"I just...I don't think I can do this," Kelly replied softly.



"How did it get this bad?" Carrie asked. "All of this because of something I said when I was a lesser person? Cause that's what I was before I met you."



"You've always been a great person, Care. You just got caught up in everything. That happens."



"Then what is it that's got you acting like this? Please tell me, cause I'll change it whatever it is. I swear I'll fix it."



Kelly shook her head, biting her lip as more tears formed, "I don't think you can."



Carrie closed her eyes tightly as she felt Kelly's hand slip from her own. She opened them to find the Texan walking away.