The Student

Chapter 23 - Just Checking

Ten o'clock. Time for school. Actually, I'm late for school, yet again. My first class will start in twenty minutes, but I haven't the heart to leave my bed, not yet.

The man besides me stirs and smiles against my shoulder. The arm he has thrown across my stomach in his sleep pulls me tighter against his hip. He murmurs my name against my skin. It's a hot, silken caress, and I can only smile. All he seems to do to me anymore is merely a sequence of caresses and kisses and words of love. Sometimes, I can only imagine that it will last forever.

I know it can't forever.

Thoughts of tomorrow and after-this have been drifting around in my head for a month. Since I moved in. Perhaps they've been there for almost three months. Relationships must always end, and this is what I think of on a lazy Monday. I won't go to school today. Today, I shall simply be with Orlando. I shall lay in his arms and wonder at the complexities of the bedspread or the intricacies of his cheek. Today shall be a lazy day.

"An angel watches over me as I sleep. I must truly be blessed."

My gaze falls to the man at my side. His eyes are open as he watches me with hooded brown orbs. He is flushed with sleep, and I have the feeling his dreams were beautiful. Everything about him is beautiful, I am convinced.

"Blessed you may be, but I am the lucky one to have the love of such an amazing man." Our morning banter is sweet and simple, yet only we ourselves can imagine how much love and affection it holds.

"My dear Laura, what would I do if I didn't have you to wake up to in the morning."

"I don't know."

"How do you suppose I survived for over 22 years alone in a sea of humanity?"

"I don't know."

He chuckles against my skin and his breath fans out on my chest. We are both quite naked, yet quite satisfied. It was . . . a long night. His kisses rose along my side, until they found my mouth. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

It was my turn to laugh. "Shouldn't you be at work."

His beautiful smiled stretches across his face. He laughs lightly before he shakes his head. "I have today off. Petah said to spend it with you."

"What a nice man."

I sigh dreamily as thoughts of the night before drift into my conscious.

"Laura?"

"Yes love?" I stroke the back of his shorthaired head and he snuggles up closer to my hipbone.

"Do you ever think of tomorrow and the future?"

A feeling of odd de'javu and vertigo shoots up my spine. I wonder if he's not psychic as well. "Yes, of course. I wonder all the time."

"And, what pray tell, do you wonder?"

"I wonder if I will have you after filming is done. Your planned wrap is only a short four months away now . . . will you return home and leave me in paradise?" The words that flow from my mouth hang in the air. They are almost adressed to the sky, for I can't answer them and I'm sure that he can't either. He is silent and for this I am glad. I have not the heart to bear the thought of him gone.

"I wonder as well if I will ever be a famous anything. Will someone want my autograph one-day because they love my painting, or my writing, or my self? Will they want to have a piece of me to take home? I wonder if I love you more than life itself, or if I love you more than the whole world? Which is more important, I wonder, my life, or the billions of other lives on this planet?"

He murmurs and shifts, pulling me across his chest. "Those are heavy thoughts for someone so small. Perhaps you should forget a few of them."

I smile down at him playfully. "And which ones should I forget?"

"Well, for one thing, I would never abandon you. I love you, and I plan on keeping you with me, for a while if not for ever." His gaze holds a shred of uncertainty and hope for acceptance.

"For ever my love? And what does for ever mean?"

"It means exactly what you can only imagine. For a lifetime, or an eternity, or even more." His voice drops to a whisper, before he leans forward and kisses me softly, yet again. His kiss is like a potent wine and I can't stop drinking him in.

The clock calls next to me. 10:13. I will be late if I hurry, so there is no point. He eases himself away before settling once again beneath me. I can only look down upon him with the wisdom of a month of living together. We have grown closer than possible and I know him better than ever.

I know his moods and his looks. I know that he's irresponsible about calling to check in when he's out with the boys, but that is forgivable, most times. I know now that he's a vegetarian. I know that his favorite places to put his hands on my body are on the arch of my back and the nap of my neck. I know that he loves to watch movies and that he's memorized my favorite X-files episodes with me. I know he cares about me and he loves me. I know he loves his mother. I know he loves his sister. I know he wants nothing more than happiness for himself and for his family. I know thatlikelikes his beer and his bars. I know, finally, that he is the most beautifully amazing man that has ever graced Earth with his presence. And I know that I am in love.

"What do you suppose is the one thing that could make our relationship better?"

Orlando's voice rises from no where, precisely where the thought behind the prompt arose as well. I shrug and turn my head to smile at him. "Many things could be suggested, but nothing could really be done. All we can do is work on ourselves and hope things stay as heavenly as possible."

"That is good wisdom, my little hockey player."

"Orlando?"

"Yes Laura."

"Just because I'm from Michigan does not mean I play hockey. I can't even skate that well. You want an Alaskan or a Canadian dear."

His sly smile gives away nothing of his disbelief, but only of his mirth, which grows each time he remembers my roots. He chuckles quietly next to me as well until his laughter grows in volume and fills the room with merriment.

"Can it Blondie." This time, we both chuckle, moving slowly deeper into our bedding. "You know, I could stay like this forever."

"Forever?" He raises his eyebrows at me, and I answer honestly.

"Yes. I don't think I need much else other than you and this bed. And that is a wonderful feeling." He kisses my collarbone. He tells me that he agrees with me and loves me without ever saying a word.

My thoughts run off on me. I'm left with the ideas of eternity and Orlando. How could I possibly deal with such opposite imaginings? When I had met him, I hadn't even known who he was. He was just a faceless head with a mohawk that reminded me of Mike from my Senior year in High School. Even after I met him, he remained the guy that Vigg knew and was cute. The guy that I might end up dating.

Dating? What a truly interesting thought. Did we really ever date? No, we didn't really. We went out with friends mainly. Our dates were the morning afters, when Vigg was gone and we had nothing better to do than talk and discuss our worlds. That was our romance. Had it gone much farther? It seems that everytime we have some space to breath and share time with each other, something pops up and says, 'Nope, not this time. Try again next week.'

I think of the many times I go to bed with no lover and wake up with no lover. I had gained roommate, but what good was that when he was never home. Damn that stupid movie. It had given me everything I could want, but for a limited, sporadic time only.

"Would you stop brooding."

He playfully swats and my nose before running his hand along my cheek and burying it in my hair. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to stop thinking about you."

"Uh oh. I hope its something good. It's bad enough when people talk bad about you. But its that worst when they think bad about you when you're standing next to them."

I get an undercurrent from him then. The feeling of hopelessness and spite rises from his prone form and I'm drawn inward towards by own feelings of inadequacy that I so abundantly felt in my father's presence. But, I can only imagine, from Orli's pose that his pain ruuch uch deeper than my own. "Have you had much experience with that O?"

He smiles at his pet name. It's something I've taken to calling him after he shortened my own name into Lore. He smiles now, but in seconds his smile fades, only to be replaced by a frown as dark as it could be. His own thoughts are tragic to his happiness, but not to his beauty. He only grows more alluring in his anger and his pain.

"I was teased often at Guildhall."

This is all he says. I wait for more, but none comes willingly. I push, as hard as I dare without being mean or rude to him. "Who teased you Orlando?"

His is silent again. He does not stir lid nor limb, merely lies beneath me, his eyes glued to the ceiling. I wonder at the damage his schoolmates have done to him.

I am almost to the point of yelling at him for not listening, when his mouth parts and he emits a small sigh before inhaling a deep breath. He begins slowly and quietly. "It wasn't so much the teasing as the thinking. They judged me for being skinny, but they were jealous of my abilities. Only a few of the students accepted have true talent, and they were jealous of mine.

"They never said this of course. They were my 'friends'. When I was knocked down in a bar fight or when Jo stood me up for the fortieth time, they were there. They appeared to care, but they didn't. Not really. They were shallow, and I had to fight hard to remain as passive with them as possible.

"Until they started to attack my best friend. Then, when they taunted him, I stood up for myself and for my friend, finally. These people, the ones who had been there through thick and thin, turned on me, and I was left with Atti, and the whole world of acting in front of me. I haven't really looked back since."

Wow.

Orli is strong of mind and heart as well as limb. I'm impressBut But I, of course, knew this. He had shown all the qualities that he had gained with his Guildhall schoolmates. He has been the one to gain. The hand at my neck tightens unconsciously, and I run a soothing hand up Orli's chest.

"I wish I was there to see you show those dicks how to behavke mke men." His smile is sad and downcast. Yet, there is a hint of hope and of conquering.

He kisses my forehead tenderly. I close my eyes as he pulls me even tighter in a semi-hug on the soft fabric of our sheets.

"That's behind me though and all I can look to is the future. With you."

"Are you hinting at something here Orlando?"

"Have you ever considered marriage Laura?"

It surprises me. I'm not expecting this. I stare up at him in wonder. Marriage. Married? To Orlando? I shake my head before breathing a deep, cleansing breath. Had I thought about marriage? Maybe I had. I shake my head yet again, trying to form an intelligent thought. "Marriage is a big step on the path of life. I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that kind of commitment honestly. I think I'd rather just stay like this, in your arms."

"Alright hon. I was just checking." He stops and lets his last sentence hang in the air. 'Just checking'? What the fuck does that mean?