The Student

Chapter 24 - And Another Thing ...

Something was poking my forehead. Someone was disturbing my badly needed beauty sleep. I was reminded of a morning only six months before of being wakened in much the same manner, but it couldn't be the same man. Oh not, not Orlando. He had never come home the night before. I had waited up, nervous and not too pleased at three in the morning. Eventually I had drifted off to sleep.

So, since he had never come home, it was most certain that Orlando couldn't be playing the faithful lover because he wasn't home.

I cracked an eye and the sun blinded me momentarily before I saw clearly that the man in question was smiling down on me. "Hiya Love." I growled, rolling away from him to the other side of the bed. "Well, good morning to you too."

"Where the fuck were you last night?" The frosty tone in my voice made him back up slightly, be wae was not swayed. He extended a slender hand to my face, but I jerked my cheek away.

"Hey Laura. What's wrong?"

I turned my back on him. "What the hell do you think is wrong?"

"I have no idea."

"Where were you last night? Why didn't you come home? I waited up for you."

"Aw Honey, Id yod you that you didn't ever need to worry about waiting up for me. I never know when my work schedule is going to change or we'll have to re-shoot some scenes. It's totally out of my hands and you know that."

"So, you had a long shoot and you still didn't bother to even call? We were supposed to go see Ian's movie tonight." I could almost hear the gears clicking.

Saturday Night . . . movie night. I had waited months to finally see X-men. I had dreamed about it, salivated about it. My biggest obsession was about to jump from the pages to the big screen. And he had blown me off. "Christ Laura, I'm sorry. I can't believe I forgot."

That didn't matter anymore. His reasoning was making me mad. "You didn't answer my question. Where were you?" I punctuated each syllable, trying to be as menacing and mean as possible.

"We ran to about one and I figured you'd be asleep already, and I didn't want to wake you so I went out for a couple of drinks with the hobbits and I just crashed at Lij's. I was pretty wasted and didn't feel like driving home drunk."

"Yeah. Likely story. You wanna tell me where you really were?" The sarcasm practically dripped from my words like venom. He was fueling the anger already in me and I was sick and tired of being lied to by people I loved.

"I told you where I was. I'm not lying. Can't I go have fun with my friends now and then?"

I whirled, a deadly gleam in my eyes. "Now and Then? NOW AND THEN? It's a hell of a lot more often than now and then. Two weeks ago, surfing without me because I had a final project. And you wouldn't even let me try and finish that, you were badgering me so badly. I'll have you know I failed that project, and that god-awful class. I'll probably take it again when I'm a place I like better! "I can tell from your expression that you don't care. While how about this? Two days after I moved to Wellington; Out all night again. Don't you think that I worry about you? And, as a final touch, on our one month anniversary of living together, I cleared my schedule completely of school work and work at the art gallery, and I even re- planned a lunch with my uncle, who I see far too little of, to go have a nice afternoon with you. And what happens? I get a call from my own personal elf telling me that he's off to go skydiving with Dom and Billy, then mountain climbing with Lij. WHAT The FUCK IS SO WRONG WITH ME THAT YOU REFUSE TO BE AROUND Me!?"

He scowled. "You know, ever since you moved in, you've become the biggest bitch ever." I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. "I can't do ANYTHING anymore without you breathing down my neck and asking me where I'm going. I come home from a hard day at the studio, and the first words I hear out of your mouth are, 'Why are you so late? Why didn't you call?' You know I'm older than twelve. I've taken pretty good care of myself on my own, and I do not need some bitchy American chick telling me to be more responsible with my life. I've made so many sacrifices in my life to have you here, with me, and I get nothing in return! When was the last time you said 'I love you Orlando? It seems like forever dammit!"

"Yont tnt to talk about sacrifices Orlando? How about mine? For you Orlando, I moved away from MY friend and MY home and MY school to come here and take third place behind a movie and a bunch of DUMBSTICKS! If that's not sacrifice, than I'm obviously a moron." I felt like hitting him. My palm itched to feel his skin with anything but a caress. He ground his teeth. "You know what. If you're so fucking sick and tired of me trying to make this situation work, than I'll leave you alone to wallow in your fucking self." I grabbed a bag and started to shove clothes and necessities into it.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going? This isn't over."

"I'm going somewhere else. Viggo's, Liv's. It doesn't matter. As long as I'm not near you." I zipped up the bag with an angry growl.

I turned to storm out, but he grabbed my arm. "You're not going to run away from this Laura. We're going to fix this problem." I glared over at the hand on my arm.

"Let me go." He lowered his face close to mine.

"No."

I whirled, fast, bringing up my hand as quickly as possible. The slap sounded like a gunshot in the room, and shock rippled outward from the blow. Our eyes both went wide, as if not believing what had happened. I . . . had slapped . . . him. He dropped my arm and turned his head to the side. I could see the angry red mark on his cheek and the urge to apologize and beg for his forgiveness was strong in my stomach. I wouldn't stoop that low though. My voice was low and steady and I stood my ground for one last minute. "When you can find a way to behave responsibly like an adult and learn some manners, call me. You can find out where I am."

I turned to go. Passing by him, I saw a tear drip slowly from his eye and down his cheek. I still loved him. God, I loved him with all of my heart, but I couldn't live with a missing roommate and a barrage of promises and hopes once reunited. I couldn't live with that uncertainty about the future. I gave him one last look before I walked out of the room and then out of the house.

!~!~!~!~!

"I had a feeling that I'd see you on my doorstep one of these days." I looked up at Ian through tear-spiked lashes. He smiled sympathetically and held out an arm. He pulled me into a hug and the tears I had managed to curb on the ride home came anew. "Oh, my dear. What happened?"

I sniffled and coughed in his shoulder, glad that the world would almost never run out of good men like Ian, even in they were gay. "I had a fight with Orlando." He frowned and pulled back before leading me into his apartment. After sitting me down on the couch, he made me a cup of tea, which did amazing things to my poor frazzled nerves. He sat next to me, with a cup of tea for himself in his own hands.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" I took a sip, gazing across the room to the windows lining the wall. It was truly beautiful out there and I could see the Intra-Island ferry crossing Cook Strait as we sat there idly.

Oh wait, he asked me a question. Would I like to talk about Orlando? Should I say yes and profess my love for him, or tell him about his irresponsible, cruel behavior? Or, should I just leave it and hope he'll accept my silence as pain and not disrespect.

"I don't think I have the heart to tell you right now. I still can't get over the mean things he said to me. He called me a bitch. Imagine, I'm a bitch. Maybe I am. For the first time in my life, I struck someone that I loved deeper than almost anything, and I did it out of anger." Ian rubbed my back and I sighed deeply.

"My father used to slap me when I was younger for never telling him where I was going. I never wanted my father to know that I had friends or relationships. He thought all I did was paint, just like his brother, and I think he resented me for that. He thought I was turning into the young, feminine version of Vigg, and he resented that. I couldn't understand it Ian. He'd destroy my artwork because he didn't have that talent that so obviously ran in the family. And he still hates me because I came here and didn't stay home." A sob rose in my chest, but I pushed it down as well as I could. "I slapped the man I love. I'm just as bad as my father." I hadn't spoken as many words about my father to anyone in all my life. I never expected to, ever. Especially not to Ian. But, it had spilled out and once it started, I couldn't stop it.

"I have no idea what the fuck I'm going t. I . I can't go home, and I can't go back to Orli. I hit him. I can't see how he could ever forgive me, even if I wanted his forgiveness."

"I'm sure, that when the time comes when all things will be revealed, you will make the right choice that needs to be made. But, for now, you can stay here with me and I won't tell a soul. Alright?"

I threw my arms around Ian, almost spilling hot tea all over both of us. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much you've helped me, by just caring and listening."

"That's what friends are for Laura." He smiled down on me and I managed a smile in return before he rose. "There's a guest bedroom down that hall to the left. It's not very big since I usually don't have guests here, but it's yours for however long you want it." He squeezed my shoulder affectionately. "Now, I have a lunch date that I must keep and I shall leave you to your own thoughts for a few hours. But, I won't be gone long." I nodded as he rose, hoping that things might get better soon. I was filled with a feeling of dread though. Was I going to lose the one thing that had come to mean so much to me over the last few months? Would I lose my heart?