I Can't Look At You Anymore

*****~Gerard's P.O.V.~*****

I walked into my room, head throbbing.
I really shouldn't have chosen to sleep in my car last night
Well there wasn't much I couldn't much I could do about it now..
I looked at my dresser.
Mom had left me two aspirin, I smiled.
She was always this thoughtful.
I put the two of them in my mouth and down the bottled water.
I pulled off my jacket and lay under my blankets.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
I was tired and hadn't slept much in the car.
I lay there eyes open, unable to sleep.
My mind decided to wander, so I decided to go and make hot chocolate, it always helped me sleep.
But when I tried to get up, I couldn't, my body was too heavy.
What the hell was going on?
I tried my fingers first, no.
Toes, legs, arms, neck, nothing, no movement
so I lay there, this paralysis only getting worse as time passed on.
And with no control over my body all I could do was watch the clock.
Half an hour passed, as I lay there wondering when this feeling would pass.
The house was quiet and I could hear Mikey moving around in his room.
And I heard him go into the shower.
Another half an hour and the phone rang. I heard his footsteps walk to the phone in the hall.
"Hello?" he answered in his same mono-tone voice.
"Hi mom, yeah Gee's home, asleep, yep, okay, well I see you tomorrow."
Obviously mom and dad had decided to stay out again.
Silence, once more.
Then his footsteps coming towards my room.
I heard him twist the door handle and walk into my room.
I couldn't turn my head, but out of the corner of my eyes I could see his legs walk past me, to my dresser.
"You took the aspirin almost an hour and a half ago, how do you feel Gerard?"
I tried to open my mouth, nothing.
I wanted to ask him what did you do. But nothing came out.
I heard him chuckle.
"So they do work then."
Then I knew for sure. Mikey had done this to me on purpose.
I had to wonder what he would do.
I felt his weight on my bed.
His face appeared over mine.
I could see him clearly, his smile, a sparkle in his hazel eyes.
"Cat got your tongue, Gerard?" His voice was feverish; I began to feel a little scared of what he was planning.
"Mom and dad aren't coming home tonight Gerard, and with you in this venerable state, I can't pass up this opportunity to take advantage of you," he smiled. "Of course if you don't want me to then just say the words and I'll stop."
He sat back and waited a bit.
Of course I couldn't answer.
I just stared into his eyes furiously; I could not believe he was going to do this.
Mikey smiled again.
"Well Gee, if there's no objections" he pulled his shirt off, revealing his bare chest.
Normally this would turn me on but I was getting more and more scared, Mikey wasn't acting like himself, he was acting crazy.
Mikey pulled a knife out from behind him.
My heart was beating so fast now.
I wanted to scream at him, push him off me.
Tell him how stupid he was being right now.
He cut each button off of my shirt and opened it up, exposing my chest.
He could see I was shaking, my breathing was fast.
"Don't be scared I'm not going to hurt you."
Some how I wasn't convinced.
I knew Mikey wasn't like that but that smile
"Gerard, it's been a while," he leaned down and kissed my navel.
I couldn't see his hands what was he doing with that knife?
"But you're MY brother, Gerard, you belong to me. I want everyone to know that."
Then I felt the cold blade on my skin just above my hipbone, then pain as he cut into my skin.
I couldn't make a sound.
"I lied, I hurt you, but now you have an M on you, M is for Mikey, it's to show all of them you're mine, Gee." And he leaned down and licked my wound.
I winced in pain, but no sound came out.
Mikey was insane what the happened to make him go crazy???

****MIKEYS POV****
I could feel his blood on my lips, it was metallically salty and it seemingly turned me on more.
I looked up into his eyes and smiled.
"Mmmm I've missed the way you taste Gee." I could see that he was angry with me; I could see that he was scared of me but he had deprived me of my right so now I was going to take it and he would learn to soon enjoy it.
I cut at his clothing until each item fell off his body; it was just like he was undressing for me like he had done so many times before.
As he lay before me naked, I found it like a new experience. I climbed on top of him and began to nibble and suck at different parts of his body
"Well Gee baby, it looks like you were able to rise to the occasion, huh?" I commented maliciously.
I removed my pants so that I too, was naked, just the way he always liked it. I was always thinking of him like that.
I spread his legs apart so I could sit easily between them then climbed up.
I began kissing the inside of his leg, allowing my tongue and kisses to torture him slowly. After what seemed like forever, my tongue reached his cock.
The whole time he never moved and he never spoke and that's the way I wanted it.
I brought my tongue along the crease of his knob, I knew exactly what I was doing
I allowed my tongue to explore the rest of his cock like it was our first time.
*******Flash-back!!*******
He had been so upset, vulnerable then.
I remember I had found him crying again so I did what I had always wanted to do, I had kissed him.
"What are you doing?" He had asked me in a shocked voice. I was surprised; I thought he would feel the same way that he would want me too.
"You don't like it?" I leaned in to kiss his soft lips again, enjoying the taste of him under the shower; it made me hotter for him.
I broke our kiss and began kissing him until I reached his neck then began sucking, sucking the warm water off his body.
"Mikey we"
"Shhh you don't want mom to hear us gee" I just wanted him to enjoy this too.
I placed my hand on his beautiful cock, stroking slowly at first then as I became more aware of his rhythm I picked up speed until he cried out my name in ecstasy. I lifted my hand to my mouth and sucked off his essence then kissed him.
"Gee, I love you." I said getting down on my knees.
He freaked out but I didn't stop, I couldn't, I wanted him in every way, I wanted him to be mine. Fully. Forever.
I took him into my mouth, I loved the taste of him, and it felt so right. I sucked him until he came again, making sure that I didn't miss a drop.
I loved hearing my older brother calling out my name.
I took him out of the shower watching as he gazed into the mirror.
"Gee, let me fuck you." I said wrapping my arms around his waist, I guess I never gave him a chance to answer for fear that he would say no.
I bent him over the bathroom cabinet and reached for the well placed lubricant. I smothered some on and in his ass hole and then on my penis, taking the time to position myself, when I was ready, I pulled him down on to me slowly, my cock throbbing and aching from wanting him so bad.
I looked into the mirror, he was crying, I had made him cry.
"I'm sorry Gerard."
I moved in and out of him slowly, getting him used to the idea, to me it was like pleasurable torture.
Slowly I began to increase my pace, getting more and more lightheaded, I was moaning, he felt so good, so right, we fit perfectly.
"Mmmm, Gee, Oh Fuck!" I was dizzy and close to climax but I wanted to look into his eyes.
"I love you Gerard."
"I love you too Mikey."
I pulled him down onto me, feeling my cock reach deep inside of him and called his name as I came twice over.
******End Flashback******
I placed him fully into my mouth, sucking his shaft with every bit of precision, my tongue swirled around his cock, he didn't moan, he couldn't but I knew he liked it, he always had.
I wrapped my hand around the lower part of his dick and began pumping while I sucked bringing him to a faster climax.
He came into my mouth and then there it was the taste, his taste that I had missed.
I lifted my head and wiped my mouth.
"Mmmm Gerard, I always did know how to bring you to an awesome climax."
I lifted his knees placing them on my shoulders then positioned myself behind him at his ass hole. I forced open his ass cheeks holding them apart as I thrust inside of him.
I looked into his eyes and saw the tears flow freely down his chubby cheeks.
I didn't want to stop, he needed to know that we were made for each other, but there was also a little voice telling me I should know better
Being inside of him felt right, it made me feel complete.
I was moaning as I moved in and out of him slowly, my breathing became rapid and I was feeling the dizziness wash over me, I knew tears were dripping off my chin as I threw my head back in pleasure , I slowed right down and looked into his eyes.
"I love you, Gerard." I said, bringing myself to the edge and spilling myself deep inside of him.

*****~Gerard's P.O.V.~*****

He kissed my motionless mouth and left me alone.
"I love you, Gerard." Was what he said. I love you.
His words rang in my head becoming more painful.
He loved me?
My own brother just drugged me and raped me.
He cut me, He ripped my clothing.
He enjoyed it, he loved every second of it.
And all I felt was used.
Dirty.
Worthless.
And I lay there without being able to move, the only thing that I could do was cry.
Cry because I couldn't believe it.
Cry because I never thought Mikey would go that far to get what he wanted.
True I used to make love to him and I loved it, but this was just wrong, never had I felt this abused.
And to think that he was the one who did this to me.
I knew what I had to do to put this incestuous affair to an end.
I cried and then I slept.
The next morning I woke up and to my great pleasure I could move again.
So as quietly as I could I went to the shower.
I grabbed the cordless from the hallway and went to my room, locking the door as I went.
I found my old school diary and dialed, his number.
He told me to call if ever I needed anything.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ray, this is Gerard, Gerard Way."
"Gerard, long time, how are you?"
"I'm not good, I know it's been ages but do you remember what you said to me the day you left?"
"I do, and yeah it still stands." He said.
"Well then I guess ill be seeing you soon then."
"I'll see you soon then."
I hung up the phone.
I pulled out my suitcase from my closet, opened my draws and stuffed the contents into it.
I threw as much stuff as I could in bags and took them down to my car.
Mikey, hearing all the commotion, came out of his room, still half asleep.
"Gerard? What's going on?" He asked looking from my bags to me.
I threw the last of the bags into the back seat and slammed the door.
"I'm leaving." I answered.
"What? Why? Gerard?" He started to cry, he shook his head. "You can't go, Why are you going?"
I refused to answer, As if he didn't know.
He grabbed my arm. "Gerard! Don't leave me!"
I ripped my arm out oaf his grip and grabbed my car keys out of my pocket.
"Why are you leaving?" he asked fighting his sobs.
I opened my car door and turned so that my face was inches from his.
"Because after last night, Michael, I can't look at you anymore."

"Because after last night, Michael, I can't look at you anymore."


Much love, There Is a sequel, and its not finished just yet, but if i get some reviews, i may upload it sooner.