Playing With Fire

+++++++



Carrie sighed annoyedly, collapsing onto Kelly's bed. This wasn't fair. She knew that they were supposed to be together. So, why was it so freaking hard?



++++++++++



Kelly sat beneath her tree, leaning back in the crook of the trunk that seemed to perfectly mold to her body. She leaned her head back, allowing the tears to run down freely. She could still feel the softness and warmth of Carrie's hands. She had never felt anything more beautiful and painful in her life. As soon as Carrie had touched her, Kelly had a flashback to that night--Carrie's lips pressed against his. She visibly shuddered at the memory. It seriously just wasn't fair.



"I don't understand," Kelly said, looking up through the branches to the sky, tears still falling. "I don't understand why I can't be happy. Everybody else gets to be happy. Why not me? Am I such a horrible person that I don't deserver that?"



++++++++++++++



Carrie stood up, looking out the window once more. Sixty acres. The girl had sixty acres and two houses, and she was supposed to find her? Well, she sighed, what other choice did she have?



+++++++++++++



She wiped her nose on her arm, looking down at her lap.



"I mean, love shouldn't be this hard. It's either you love someone or you don't. And if you love someone, then you should be with that person. Everybody gets to be with the person they love. Why not me?" she asked, her eyes back to the sky.



+++++++++++



Carrie paused, looking down at the miniature vehicle.



"Dam* go-cart," she cursed at the thing.



+++++++++++



"I do the right thing. I let her stay. That's what you would want me to do, right?" she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "You know, the whole love your neighbor thing. Then why do you keep torturing me like this? I just...I just want to make it through all this. I just want to come out the other end with my head above water. But I can't do that, if you keep shoving my pain in my face! I swear, sometimes I think my life is just one big joke to you. Well, I'm not just some play thing you get to toy around with! I deserve better!"



+++++++++++

Carrie sat down in the go-cart, reminding herself that Kelly was worth it.



++++++++



"I just don't get it. I don't go tramping around. I give to the people who need it. I forgive those who hurt me. So, why can't she love me back?" her voice cracked, her vision completely blurred from the tears. "I need her to love me back," she sobbed.



+++++++++



Carrie frowned, trying to figure out how to turn the stupid thing on.

++++++++



"You know, I trusted you," Kelly admitted, her voice now completely shot. "I trusted you last time. I trusted that you would get me through it, and that things would get better. But, I should have known better, right. I mean, you're the one that's constantly throwing the fact that I can't trust anyone in my face. But, I don't know, I thought, you'd be different. I mean, I don't know why, you're just freaking God after all!"



+++++++++++



Carrie finally managed to start the go-cart by turning the tiny key that was in the ignition.



+++++++++++



She took a shaky breath, her body shaking with her tears.



"It's not going to get better, is it?" she asked, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her arms wrapped around her legs as she rocked back and forth. Her voice was small and scared. "It's never going to get better. I mean, why should it? What have I ever done to deserve anything better?"



She bit her lip as more tears formed, "I'm just not worth it, right? I mean, that's how everybody feels. That's apparently how you feel. So, then what's the point of keeping me here?"



++++++++++



Carrie bit her lip as the thing moved forward when she pressed the gas.



++++++++++



"I just..." she looked up once more. Her eyes full of defeat.



"I can't do this anymore," she admitted, her voice hollow. "I just can't"



++++++++++



Kelly's face was buried in her knees when she heard a go-cart pull up. She waited for them to drive by, but they didn't.



"Kelly?" a small voice asked.



She froze. She could recognize that voice in a crowd of millions, and it definitely wasn't Jason's or Ashley's. The sound of leaves crunching, signaled the owner of the voice getting closer, and Kelly jumped up, backing against the tree, her eyes wide and fearful.



"Baby," Carrie's heart broke at the look on her face.



"Stay away from me," Kelly said through gritted teeth.



"Ok," Carrie nodded, halting where she was, and holding her hands up in surrender. "Ok, but you have to listen to me."



"I don't have to do anything."



"Kelly, look, Ashley told me what you saw...what you thought you saw."



"What I thought I saw?" Kelly asked in disbelief. "There was no mistaking what I saw."



"Yes, there is," Carrie insisted.



"No, there isn't," Kelly shook her head, fighting off the tears. "I saw you in his arms. I saw you dancing with him. I saw you...kissing him."



"He kissed me."



"And I'm sure he just invited himself as your date as well?"



"Actually that was Chris."



"Enough with the excuses."



"Kelly," Carrie sighed, taking a step towards her. Kelly backed up until her back was fully pressed against the trunk of the tree. "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. I swear."



Kelly just shook her head, her bottom lip trembling.



"I pulled away. I told him to leave me alone. I told him I didn't have feelings for him anymore," she explained, closing the distance between them. She hated the fact that at each step she took towards her, the fear increased in Kelly's eyes, but she knew she had to do this.



"Kell, you have to believe me," Carrie said, placing her hands softly on Kelly's arms. Tears fell at her touch, and Kelly closed her eyes, shutting out the beautiful blonde before her. She continued to shake her head.



"Kelly?" Carrie asked nervously as the Texan began to shake under her gentle grip.



"I can't," she replied shakily.



"Please," Carrie begged, her worry increasing as Kelly began to seriously shake from the tears that were pouring down her cheeks, still refusing to open her eyes.



"I can't," she repeated softly. "Please don't make me."



"Make you?" Carrie asked gently. "Make you what?"



But the tears just continued to pour as Kelly collapsed into her, "I can't. I can't."



"Ok," Carrie soothed, rubbing her back comfortingly. "It's ok."



"I can't lose you," she cried, clinging to Carrie's shirt. "Don't make me lose you again."



Carrie felt her heart crumble as she wrapped her arms tightly around the shorter girl, pulling her even closer.



"It's ok, sweetie. You aren't going to lose me. I swear, this time I'm not going anywhere. No matter what, I'm here," Carrie insisted, rocking her back and forth.



+++++++++++



Carrie had managed to get them into a sitting position under the tree. Well, Carrie was sitting under the tree; Kelly was curled up on Carrie's lap, Carrie holding her tight. She wasn't sure if the crying had completely stopped, but it had definitely lightened, and Kelly was breathing steadily. Carrie kissed the top of her head gently, lingering.



"Kell?" she asked gently.



Kelly shifted her position so she could look Carrie in the eyes. Carrie smiled, placing a gentle hand on her cheek. She could feel Kelly tense beneath it, so she pulled away. Too soon, she thought to herself.



"I hate to ask," Carrie admitted. "But I need to know. Where are we?"



Kelly chewed on the corner of her lip, looking down, and Carrie nodded.



"Friends?" she asked carefully.



"Yea," Kelly replied softly with a slight nod.



"Anything more?"



"Carrie--" Kelly began reluctantly, but Carrie shook her off.



"It's ok. Friends is fine for now. I can use a good friend anyway," she admitted, earning a slight smile from Kelly before she snuggled back into the Oklahoma native.



+++++++



"So," Kelly smiled. They were still sitting under the tree, Kelly on Carrie's lap, their arms around each other, Kelly's head resting against he chest. The sun was starting to set before them. Carrie smiled at the lightness of Kelly's voice. "You really drove the go-cart?"



"You sound surprised," she laughed.



"How long did it take you to get it started?"



"Not long," Carrie lied.



"Carrie..." Kelly giggled.



"Well, it was complicated."



"I leave the keys in the ignitions so the don't get mixed up," she pointed out. "How complicated could it be? It wasn't like it had a pull string."



"Thank goodness," Carrie laughed as the sun fell behind the horizon. "We should be getting back soon."



"Why?"



"Because it's gonna get cold, and you know how you hate being cold."



"I'm plenty warm," Kelly insisted sweetly, wrapping her arms tighter around her.. Carrie did the same, smiling. This just friends thing definitely wouldn't last long.