The Secret

Ellie put the kettle on and pulled two cups off the shelf, spooning coffee into them.



‘Did Sam call?’ Alan asked her.



‘Yes, she got back OK. She’s fine I think. It will do her good to get back to her routine. University will be a good distraction.’ She made the coffee and sat at Poppy’s kitchen table opposite him.



Poppy had insisted they all come to stay in her house until they decided what to do next, she had plenty of space and it gave Sam room to look after Ben properly. He was still suffering from the effects of the smoke but had been well enough to go back up on the train to see his Dad for the weekend. Ellie was missing him already; she had barely let him out of her sight since he was discharged.





‘Has Kyle made his mind up yet, about college?’ Alan took her hand in his and stroked it, softly. Ellie looked at him and smiled. Alan had made an effort to get to know her children in the past two weeks and it hadn’t gone un-noticed. Sam had asked her on the day before she left if Alan was her boyfriend, and Ellie had told her the truth.



Sam had grinned at Ellie and giggled at her. ‘I knew you were shagging!’



Ellie looked at her daughter; shocked, then realised she was 20 and had probably been there herself already. They laughed together and Sam told her she thought he was great. Ellie had been pleased. He was really great.



‘I think so, he’s loving being in London, and I haven’t seen him so excited before!’ Ellie laughed ‘and he should be able to get a transfer quite easily, so it looks like we will be looking for somewhere to live locally… which will be handy.’ She leaned across the table and kissed him.



‘It’s just Ben I worry about. He misses his Dad already and he’s so rebellious. I would love to find him a good school and get him away from the crowd he was hanging around with. I don’t know how he will feel about staying here…’



‘He will turn out just fine. It’s just a phase, that’s all…trust me Ellie, you are brilliant with those kids, and you and Kyle are so close, it’s lovely to see.’



He smiled at her and he meant it. He was in awe of her with her children, so caring and so sensible.



Ellie looked at him and her heart melted. She knew it was time. She stood and closed the door; Kyle was in the lounge watching TV.



She sat back down and took Alan’s hand, looking at him gently.



‘I have to tell you something, Alan. I should have told you sooner and I’m sorry I didn’t.’



Alan looked at her, a puzzled look on his face. ‘Go on…’ He was curious.



Ellie sighed deeply, ‘after I left, the first time…. I went home and I told you things were difficult. I had to pretend I was with you… you remember that?’



‘Yes, I do…’ He sat forward, looking at her closely.



‘There was a reason for that, Alan. When I went back home after being with you…. I was already pregnant…. with Kyle.’



She looked at him, her face full of love and hoped that he wouldn’t turn and bolt out of the door.



‘What?’ he whispered, as the penny dropped. ‘You mean…..Kyle….’ His face went pale and his mouth dropped open as he tried to take in what she had told him.



‘He’s your son, Alan….’ Ellie smiled at him, her eyes brimming with tears.



‘Who’s his son?’ Kyle was stood at the door, his face blank. Ellie jumped up in shock and Alan looked at her and then at Kyle.



Kyle looked at his Mum and then back at Alan and something in the back of his mind clicked into place.



‘You’re talking about me, aren’t you? Mum?’ He spoke calmly.



He wasn’t as surprised as he should have been. He had always known there was something different about him and he had always been aware that Pete treated him differently to Sam and Ben. Everything just made sense.



Ellie looked at him in horror. She had never intended for him to find out and if he did, certainly not like this.



‘Kyle…I’m so sorry…’ She whispered.



‘It’s cool Mum…don’t panic. I always knew I was different. Actually, it’s good to know why… I thought Dad just didn’t like me…you know…’ Kyle smiled at her a little and Alan looked at him. He could see a likeness and was shocked he hadn’t noticed it sooner.



Ellie started to cry with relief and Kyle went to her and hugged her. ‘It’s OK, Mum. Honest.’



Ellie wiped her eyes and smiled at him, stroking his cheek. She looked across at Alan who was staring at them both.



‘Are you OK?’ She looked at him. He nodded. He couldn’t speak. He had a son and he couldn’t quite get his head around it.



Kyle looked at him and laughed a little. ‘I don’t know who is more shocked, you that I’m your son or me finding out my Dad is Dr Lazarus!’



He grinned at him and the tension was broken. Alan burst out laughing and smiled at him.



‘We’ll talk. But I need to talk to your Mum first… that OK?’ He looked at Ellie, his eyes wide.



‘Sure… I only came in for a glass of water!’ Kyle laughed again, got his drink and went back into the lounge, his stomach full of excitement. He was secretly pleased. He really liked Alan.



Ellie stood by the sink, not looking at him. She didn’t know what to say.



‘Ellie…’ He stood and went to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her hair ‘Oh Ellie… ‘



‘Is it OK, Alan… are we OK?’ She looked up at him, her eyes unsure.



He looked at her. ‘Are you kidding? What did you think I was going to do, leave? You have just told me the second best thing I have ever heard in my life! We have a wonderful son, Ellie… he’s amazing, isn’t he?’ He smiled at her and she knew it would be OK.



‘I love you so much, Alan. I always have.’ She kissed him deeply and he held her close.



He looked at her. ‘Why? What made you go through with it, if you knew he was mine and not Pete’s?’



Ellie smiled.’ You would have done the same thing, if you had lost the love of your life. He was my secret, the part of you I could keep, always.’



He smiled at her and they kissed for a long time.