Tea & Biscuits

A/N: This is a sad chapter so if you're feeling blue, read it another time or get the kleenex out.


Chapter Twenty Seven


Beth walked into the flat. Alan wasn't home and Beth was relieved. She needed time to work out what to say to him.

In between leaving work and coming back to Alan's flat, Beth had made her decision and it was tearing her apart.

In her head, the only way to keep Alan safe, to keep her Mum safe and hopefully, keep herself safe, would be to move. And thats what she intended to do. Whether she would be able to maintain her relationship with Alan was another thing altogether.

Beth jumped as she heard his key in the door. He looked at her and knew something wasn't right. As she watched him walk towards her, love in his eyes, the emotion she had been bottling up spilled over and she burst into tears, sobbing as her heart was breaking. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving but she couldn't stay and put him at risk.

Alan wrapped her in his arms and she stiffened, pushing him away.

'Don't Alan, please...I can't do this....'

'Beth, what is it?' He didn't understand.

'I'm leaving, Alan.' She whispered it, not looking at him.

'What? Why?'....Beth, what the fuck is going on?' Alan pushed his hand through his hair. This was the last thing he expected to find when he walked through the door.

'I've been offered a new job. In Brighton, as it happens.' The irony wasn't lost on Beth. 'And I have decided to take it.'

'Have you? Right. Thats that, then. ' Alan was furious. What the hell was she playing at, making a huge decision with no conversation. He looked at her for a moment then walked into the kitchen, pouring himself a large glass of wine.

Beth appeared in the kitchen doorway, she seemed small and scared and his anger disappeared.

'Why, Beth? Just tell me... it's me, you know you can tell me anything.' He sighed deeply.

His emotions had been wrung ragged by his relationship with Beth and for a fleeting moment he thought how much simpler life would be without her. Then he felt the pain of losing her and desperately wanted her to stay.

'Steve will probably be out in 6 months.' Beth was trembling as she spoke, saying everything made the decision she had made all too real.

Alan poured another glass of wine and handed it to her.

'And?' He was losing patience, they had already agreed about this.

Beth took a long gulp of wine.

'And? You know, Alan, for gods' sake! He is going to come for me and when he does, I wont be safe, you wont be, Mum wont be. There is no way I am putting anyone else at risk, it's just not happening.'

'I can hire security...for you, your Mum... it will be OK' he was clutching at straws.

'And we will live our life constantly looking over our shoulders, like being in a prison cell, no freedom...it wouldn't be like real life, I don't think I could live like that, I'm sorry.'

'Its that easy then, to leave, is it?' He was really hurting now and he wanted to lash out at her, make her realise what she was doing to him.

'No!' Beth sobbed, huge tears spilling down her cheeks 'of course its not easy! How can you say that to me, after everything?'

'Because, my darling Beth, you have made this decision, you, not us. It's as if US doesn't exist in your world. Well, it does in mine. In my world decisions that affect relationships should be made together. So, to make life easier for you, go. If you think it will help, just go.'

He walked past her into the lounge as she collapsed in tears onto the kitchen floor. Her heart was in pieces, she couldn't catch her breath, tears were streaming down her face and huge, wracking sobs wailed out her mouth.

Alan stood with his glass of wine, staring out of the window. His jaw was set even though his resolve was dissipating as her heard Beth's anguish. He knew how hard the decision must have been and he understood the logic. But his heart had been ripped from his chest and he wanted to join Beth on the kitchen floor, sob his own tears and wail for himself.

Alan took a deep breath and walked back to where Beth lay slumped against the kitchen cabinet, her head in her hands, sobbing quietly to herself. Putting down his glass, he stooped and lifted her effortlessly, carried her into the bedroom and lay her gently on the bed.

He lay next to her and held her close until she fell asleep. The next day, he helped her pack her things and they hugged a sad goodbye at the door, promising to call each other, keep in touch.

And then she was gone.