Care To Bargain II: My Immortal

*~How Orlando feels; from his POV to Lex:~*

I don’t know why I got so upset. You’re everything I wanted, and I almost had you, but I ran. I guess it’s because I didn’t want to be used just for keeping a secret. When I heard you scream his name, it was like a knife. I wish so bad that could have been my name you screamed. But I had found myself an opportune moment. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I would tell Johnny.

But when I was about to be given everything I wanted, I didn’t take it. When I ask myself why, my heart answers. It’s because I want the real thing. I want you to love me. You only kissed me, only touched me because you want someone else so badly that you’d go through me to prevent them from finding out.

I hate ignoring you. It hurts me. But I love you too much to even look at you. Because I know you’ll never feel the same. I want to tell you that I love you. I want to pour my heart and soul out to you and tell you how much you mean to me. But my heart won’t let me. Ever since that morning when you kissed me I can’t look at you. Because I felt something in that kiss. Something I know you didn’t feel.

You probably imagined I was Johnny when you kissed me. Probably imagined his hands on you instead of mine. You probably think I’m stupid for running away. For not talking to you for no reason at all. I wish I could tell you, but my heart won’t let me.