Deconstruction

Lita blinked and stretched, her lids still heavy. Her entire body felt drained and oddly refreshed. As if she had just had some good sex…

Maybe a dream? She rolled over and reached out, searching for Matt. She normally like to cozy up to him a bit before getting up. But when she reached out he wasn't there…and then she realized she wasn't wearing her nightgown…

She shot up in bed, startled, clinging the sheets to her. Her mind flooded with images, with memories. Her naked flesh began to crawl as she recognized the messy room. She turned to see Kane sitting in a chair next to the bed, dressed and looking at her, "Sweet dreams?"

Lita gasped, her throat immediately constricting with tears, her heart pounding as panic gripped her. She pressed a hand to her forehead. Her hair felt like it was a complete mess, like someone had knotted their fingers in it and her body still…still hummed from…

She looked around frantically for a clock - what time was it? She tossed aside the sheet and jumped to her feet, hastily grabbing at her clothes. She didn't look at Kane - she didn't think about him, didn't think about what they had just done…

But it was there anyway - memories and sensations ghostly flashing through out her body unbidden and she could still feel him on her…everywhere…

Her clothes were wrinkled and she looked like a piece of paper that had been crumpled up. She just wanted to get out of there - as fast as she could, as soon as she could - the quicker the better and if she just didn't look at him…

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiita."

His voice, sing song, rang throughout the room - chilling her blood.

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiita."

She turned to him, her fingers clenched, her entire body jerky as her voice in in a hysteric wail, "What?!"

He chuckled, "You're free to go."

"Oh…good," she mumbled, her throat still tight. She wanted to cry, she wanted to cry, she wanted to cry…

But somehow her brain worked clinically, logically, "So we're done, right?"

"Sure."

He said this too easily, too kindly.

But she chose to buy it. She couldn't analyze now, just as she couldn't then. She'd given away her body and her mind - that had been too much - she might have given away more than that even…she felt as if her soul was gone and her heart…

No, no - don't think. Don't analyze.

His eyes looking soft.

She had to get the hell out of there. She had to get the hell out of there now and as far away as possible…back to Matt - back to herself…

She'd forget this ever happened. She'd forget her temporary insanity. This would just be a nasty page in the book of her life that she burned and forget. She was almost to the door, handle on the knob when he spoke.

"Oh wait, there's just one more thing."

She froze. Terror welled up insider her, cold and swift. She steeled herself and turned, looking at him with a mustered up brave front, "Yeah?"

He rose to his feet and walked over to her. He towered above her, still frightening and yet, somehow, less so. And his face - once so grotesque - was now a little more livable. He looked down at her though, and his eyes peered into the very center of her, making her feel small, "I want you to think about what we did. I want you to think long and hard about it. 'Cause if you do, you'll realize that Matt Hardy has never made you feel that way - and he never will. And what's more, towards the end - we weren't doing it my way anymore, we were doing it yours."

She felt as if she was choking, arguments tumbling out but he stopped them dead, killed them as he hissed quietly, "You kissed me. You kissed me."

Those three words struck her harder than any punch, any kick, any chair shot she'd ever taken.

He grinned, "You wanted it, Lita. You wanted me. And you loved it. Think about that."

He opened the door for her and she practically fell out. She heard his door shut behind her and began to walk back to her and Matt's room. The sun had yet to rise, but she knew it couldn't be far off. The sky was now a light blueberry and the clouds were breaking. Debris lay around the parking lot and she realized vaguely there must have been some wild storm last night…

She remembered the clouds now and the wind and rain…

Oh god, she touched her lips. She could still feel his kiss. Tears glazed over her hazel eyes. He was right. He was right all along. She had broken herself.