Backstage Pass

I laid there breathlessly next to Billie Joe. "Did I just orgasm?" I asked myself. I had never had one before. I assumed that I did but I never really felt anything down there before. Just something filling in the space. I felt a slight tingle still. I kept replaying the,what I now know to be an orgasm for sure, over and over again.


From the moment he entered my body I knew that this time something was different. I gasped as he made his way inside of me. Every move he made I felt and it wasn't just something in there it was...nice....really, really nice. Then it hit me. I dug my nails into the bed and screamed. I didn't know what was going on. It was so amazing yet so scary at the same time.


Billie Joe was asleep now and it was nearing the time my roommate was coming back. I shook Billie gently because I didn't want him to leave but I knew he had too. "Billie you have to go. Billie!" Then there was a knock on the door. I pulled on my wrinkled clothes and power walked over to the door. I knew it was my roommate so I just opened the door without a shadow of a doubt.

"Hey Liz..." I stopped myself from continuing. "I mean hey dad!"

I walked out of my room and slammed it shut to make sure Billie woke up. I talked as loudly as I could and kept repeating the word dad so Billie would know who it was.


"Hey sweetie! I thought I'd surprise you with a nice little visit!"

"Oh, it's really nice dad."

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"I would dad, trust me I would dad. The only problem is that Liz is still asleep. I don't want to bother her dad."

"How could she be in there if you thought I was her."

"Oh, I meant my other, non-roommate friend named Liz, dad."

" I won't wake her. Let me in."

"No? DAD!"

"I am your father! Let me in!"


I winced as I opened up the door to let my dad push his way in. I ran in and looked at my bed praying Billie hid. He hadn't. He was still sleeping as peaceful as ever. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at him laying there with a crooked smile on his face.

"Who is that?"

"No one!" I whispered angrily.

"Isn't that the lead singer?"

"No"

"Yes it is!"

"Nu-uh its the lead singer slash guitarist!"

"Stop acting so immature about this Lesley!"


My dad ripped the cover off of Billie to reveal all of him including his manhood. "Shit." I whispered as I turned away. Billie slowly opened his eyes while still keeping the smile on his face. It took him awhile to notice who had taken his covers away. "Shit!" he screamed while grabbing the covers and bunching them up around him.


"Lesley that is it! You are leaving this tour immediately and coming home with me."


"But, it's my life and if I want to be with him I can!"


"No, I told you no to him."


"You have no right to tell me no!"


"You have always been such a failure. Why can't you be like your sister?? Why couldn't be popular, smart, friendly-"


I interrupted him and screamed " and pretty and preppy and a bitch to anyone not like her and a whore and just oh so perfect. Would you like me better if I slept with everything with a dick??? Would you? Or how about if I make fun of gays?? How about that dad. Would you like me then? If I was blonde and wore blue contacts and got a boob job? Do you want me to be like her?? Do you want me to be a Barbie wannabe?"


"Anna is not a slut! She's not just some notch on some rock stars belt!"


"Wait...do you think I just want Lesley for sex?" Billie asked while trying to keep himself awake.

"Of course! Why else would a celebrity like you want her???" He said the word her as if it was forbidden.


I just closed my eyes and pictured myself somewhere else. I was never good enough.


"Maybe a celebrity like me would want her because she's nice, smart, funny, clever,pretty-"


My dad interrupted him only to make me feel even more like shit. "That sounds like Anna not Lesley."


"Look I have no right to criticize you but I really don't think you should say or even think those things about your own daughters. I don't think you should play favorites and I know you don't see how great Lesley is."


"I don't need advice from some no good punk. You can't change my mind. Lesley pack your stuff. You are going home."


My eyes shot open. They were watering as I went up to my dresser and started packing. I could hear Billie telling me not to go. Not to listen to my dad but I ignored him. I knew it was best. I was nothing but trouble for him. I felt like there was something caught in my throat. I wanted to fight my dad but the words were stuck. Every time I'd try to tell him what I thought or how I felt I'd get stuck and then shot down.


"Sorry Billie" was all I could mumble while following my dad like a lost puppy out the door.


"No! Your not going! You have to give two weeks notice before quitting. You didn't...your stuck here for two more weeks!" Billie looked morbid and angry.The look in his eyes was threatening and fierce. I placed my luggage and the ground and smiled.


"He's right dad. I have to stay for two more weeks."


My dad kept trying to fight back but, just like I used to be, the words were stuck in his throat. I pulled Billie down while trying to hug him. He happily obliged to falling and landing on top of me.


"Lesley! You may have to stay but you still can't date him."


I took a break from having the saliva in my mouth lapped up by Billie to look back at my father. I hate him. I sighed and said "For 24 years I've let you hurt me and I've allowed myself to become bitter. You've gotten into my head and control my every thought. I'm letting you go dad."


"You can't do that!"


"Yes, I'm afraid...not really afraid..I'm quite happy about it but..I can. You don't scare me anymore."


My father stormed off with his tail between his legs. He was defeated for the moment.