Chipped Black Nail Polish

Disclaimer: Don't own. TBS owns the song.

Chipped Black Nail Polish
Part Three: You're So Stupid

I walk around this town, it makes you oh so nervous

You’re so beautiful. I don’t think that you understand the reason I’m so cruel to you is that my greatest fear is you’ll leave me. The only way I can think of to keep you with me forever is to make you so terrified and so hateful of yourself that you’ll think no one else will want you, that you’re worthless.

I see your nervous gulp as I glare at you while my brother lights your cigarette. You cross the room and sit down next to me without speaking a word. You smile and pretend like nothing’s wrong. Such a beautiful creature. You’re so stupid.

They would save you in a heartbeat if they knew. I’d be in prison and they’d take care of you, build your self-esteem back up.

I think sometimes they guess, but never really say anything. Who would suspect it? You show up with a pretty bruise barely visible underneath the sleeve of your tee shirt, a scratch on your beautiful face. You’re so quiet now, so sedated.

Sometimes that makes it easier to break you. Because now you’re not the man I fell in love with. You’re a broken, beautiful creature I created. You’re a mess.

A mess I created with no intention of cleaning up.

Except for the occasional passing moment when I feel sorry for what I’ve done, when I stare at you and notice things. Your too-pale skin, your weight . . . the chipped black nail polish from when you’re too exhausted or in too much pain to fix it.

And even then you’re beautiful. You smile as Ray asks you a question. You answer it quickly and look at me for a second, making sure you did it right.

And for the first time since I began the cycle of destroying you, I smile.

~ ~ ~To Be Continued~ ~ ~