So Much For Sanity

Three

Mikey felt a piece of darkness turn to light inside him when Gerard had said that. A small portion of sadness and pain fled from his body. He knew Gerard probably did not mean it the way Mikey wanted him to but oh well.

"I love you Gerard..." he whispered, planting a kiss on Gerard's forehead.

"I love you, too, Mikey." Gerard said back. More tears came to his eyes. He was so confused. He felt something in his stomach. It made him feel nervous. Not sick or anything. Nervous, kind of excited even. Being in someone's arms made him feel loved and wanted. He hardly ever felt that way with Ray anymore...even before the "incident".

"Now," Mikey began, adjusting to where he and Gerard were looking eye-to-eye. "Tell me what happened." he couldn't keep 'his' eyes off the bruise on the side of his big brother's face.

"W-well..." Gerard paused. He didn't really want to talk about it. But Mikey wanted to and when Mikey wants something, Mikey gets it. Especially if it's something he wants from Gerard. Gerard can never turn down his little brother. "I was waiting for Ray to get home. It was ten thirty. And...he came home drunk. I asked him what was wrong and he slapped me. End of story."

"Bitch...I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

"No, Mikey. Cool it..." Gerard slid his hand into Mikey's.

"Gee. He hit you. I'm pissed. I'm gonna fuck him up."

"Mikey! Just...don't do that."

"He deserves it!"

"You're better than that!"

They stopped yelling and just looked into eachothers eyes. Gerard saw love in Mikey's eyes. Mikey could swear he saw some in Gerard's. Seconds ticked by on the clock. Tension grew in the room. Gerard was still holding Mikey's hand...

Mikey decided to just go for it. He leaned in, closing his eyes. Surprisingly enough, Gerard did the same. When suddenly, the door flung open. The two brothers broke apart and looked around, trying to hide whatever just happened.

Gerard shot his eyes to the door. Ray was standing there. He looked drunk...again. "Mikey," he pointed at the younger Way. "I need to talk to Gerard...in private."

"Ok." Mikey didn't want to be violent while Gerard was around. He gave Gerard a quick peck on the cheek and got up. While walking - well, pushing - past Ray and out the door, he gave the man an evil look saying "you touch my brother, you die".

Ray shut the door behind the bass player and locked it. He looked over at Gerard and smiled wryly.

Gerard studied the guitarist. His eyes were red-ish, he could barely stand up, and suddenly the room reeked the familiar stench of alcohol. "Ray please don't tell me you've been drinking.."

"Ok," Ray staggered over to the couch, "I won't tell you."

The stench was getting stronger. Gerard grimaced. "Ray you have been drinking. Again!" he snapped.

Ray smiled and got on the couch. He loomed over Gerard, their faces inches apart. Ray then pressed his lips to Gerard's. Gerard tried to push Ray off of him, but didn't succeed. Ray pinned Gerard's hands down above his head with one hand. He pried the singer's lips open with his tongue.

Gerard squirmed under Ray and managed to knee him in the groin extremely hard. Then he got up and ran. He darted up the stairs and into his room, shutting the door behind it. He wanted to lock it but remembered his door didn't have a lock.

He heard footsteps and curled up in the darkest corner of the room. The door creaked open. Gerard tightly closed his eyes. After a second or two the door shut again. Gerard sighed in relief. But then someone grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt.

"You stupid lil' punk!" Ray slurred.

"I'm sorry!" Gerard cried.

"All I ever do for you is love you and treat you well and you're never greatful! You stupid bitch!" the guitarist yelled. He had his fist in the air.

"Ray! Don't! I'm sorry! I l-love you..." Gerard whimpered. He cowered beneath Ray. He couldn't understand how he ever loved this man. Oh wait, he loved him...when he wasn't drinking. When did this start, you ask?

Two weeks before the first time Ray hit Gerard. He'd finally begun drinking alcohol. Using it. Then, abusing it. And now he was not only abusing the alcohol. He was abusing Gerard.

Gerard was a strong guy, though, why wouldn't he hit back? Because Ray was his boyfriend and he didn't want to hurt him because he loved him.

Gerard's thoughts were interrupted by Ray's fist digging into his stomach. He wanted to scream but he couldn't. The wind was knocked right out of him. Ray then lifted Gerard out of his little corner, flipped him to where his back was facing Ray, and pinned him to the wall.

"W-w-what are you d-doing?!" Gerard asked in fear.

Ray didn't answer. He grabbed the waistband of Gerard's jeans and shoved them down to the singer's ankles. Gerard started to panic, beings they'd never gone this far. Ray then ripped off Gerard's boxers.

Gerard heard Ray taking off his own pants and started to panic even more. "No! D-don't do this! Ray! P-p-please!!" he screamed.

Ray ignored him. He aimed himself at Gerard's entrence and thrusted deep inside him. Gerard screamed in pain. Ray groaned and started to push in and out of Gerard hard and fast, showing no sign of stopping, not untill he got what he wanted.

Gerard started sobbing even harder. Soon he started to choke on his own sobs. He begged Ray to stop but the guitarist didn't stop. Suddenly, Gerard screamed again. Not in pain, though. Something inside him, some place Ray hit just hard enough, felt...good.

But it didn't make the pain hurt any less. After a while, Ray came inside of Gerard. 'Thank God...' Gerard thought. Ray pulled out of him and kissed the back of his neck.

"I love you." he slurred.

"...fuck you..." Gerard muttered. Ray - after getting his pants pulled up - grabbed Gerard's neck and slung him into the floor. Then he kicked his ribs and stomach. After kicking Gerard hard in the head and knocking him out, Ray spun around and left as if nothing had happened.

[A/N: Sorry if this chap was, um, confusing, hehe. Thanks to all reviewers! I am inspired by reviews!!]