The Secret

They drank the second bottle of wine and staggered onto the tube. Notting Hill Gate was a few stops away and Ellie started to yawn as the train sped past various wires and a couple of empty stations.

'Don't you even think about sleeping!' Poppy looked at her in shock. 'It's only half six, we have a whole night ahead of us!' She laughed.

'It's the wine....' Ellie yawned again 'Plus I'm usually cooking dinner, not sitting pissed on a tube, at this time of the day!'

'That’s what we need, food. That'll perk you up no problem then you'll get your second wind!' Poppy grinned.

As they surfaced from the station, night was falling gently. Ellie loved this time of year, when spring seeped into summer and the sky took on a shade of blue you would never recreate with watercolours, the air turning from fresh to balmy.

They walked along the tree lined Avenue and into Poppy's street. She had lived here for so long she would have found her own way home after 4 bottles of Merlot not just two. She opened the door of the Victorian villa and lead Ellie through to the kitchen.

'Well, here we are. You're in the same room, if that’s OK? It still needs doing up, I'll get around to it, some day....' She was sifting through a sheaf of take away menus. 'Indian or Chinese?'

'Indian would be great...I'll just dump this' Ellie waved her case at Poppy and headed towards the stairs. As she got there, a quiet mewing caught her attention.

Looking down at the bottom step, a large lump of fluffy cat looked up at her.
'Baggy!' She was thrilled to see him and tickled him behind his ears. 'Good to see you' She smiled. Like everything in Poppy's house he was old but familiar and she could feel herself relaxing.

Baggy wasn't moving so Ellie lifted her case and made her way into the first bedroom on the landing.

She opened the door and sat her case next to the large old double bed in the middle of the room. Poppy had put on fresh bed linen but it wasn't her best stuff, just some old Dorma she had hanging around, with pink and purple flowers and a frill around the edge. Ellie was pleased. Poppy hadn't changed, she was the one constant in her life at the moment and it was comforting. Ellie lay on the bed for a moment looking at the ceiling. There was a ceiling rose and hanging from it, a pendant lamp with a faded pink shade with sateen tassels. It had probably been there since Poppy moved in.

‘Is everything cool honey?' Poppy called through the door.

'Brilliant, thanks.' Ellie opened the door and joined Poppy on the landing. 'Thanks for putting me up Poppy, it's lovely being here again.'

'Don't get soppy now!' Poppy laughed. 'Seriously though, it is really lovely to have you.' She squeezed her in a huge hug. 'Now lets eat, then we can plan how we can get you a man!'

Laughing, they walked downstairs together.

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They sat at Poppy's kitchen table surrounded by metal take away cartons and broken bits of poppadum. Ellie was stuffed and unfastened the top button of her jeans, letting out a big sigh.

Her chicken jalfrezi had been delicious, even though she had managed to spill some down her white shirt and knew it was ruined forever.

Poppy's kitchen reflected her personality. An antique pine dresser was covered in a mish-mash of crockery, some of it kitsch, some sentimental, all of it in different colours and patterns. She had a Rayburn but it was just for show, Poppy rarely cooked. The smorgasbord that was London was on her doorstep so why bother cooking?

'That was excellent!' Ellie smiled, taking a mouthful of wine.
'Filled a gap.... may have room for Ben and Jerry's later though!' Poppy laughed. 'Let's clear up later.... I want to talk to you properly, let's go into the other room.'

She lead the way into the lounge at the front of the house, a large room filled with two sofas, low and deep cushioned, covered in ethnic prints, animal prints and fur fabrics. On the walls were framed posters from some of Poppy's favourite shows. Ellie walked around the room examining each one until she found the one she was looking for. She remembered it vividly and had first seen it when the play was on, outside the theatre door. She looked at the actors in the photograph, smiled to herself and plonked herself down onto one of the sofa's while Poppy busied herself lighting the million and one candles dotted about the room.

Ellie topped up their wine glasses as Poppy slouched into the end of the sofa and pulled her knees up under her long black skirt.

'Do you miss him still?' She asked. They were on to Pete again.

'Not really. I did miss having his company for a while but not now. It's not easy, juggling everything, but I get by and it's fine.'

'What he did was just awful Ellie, really. Yet you always defend him! I don't get it.' Poppy had never understood why Ellie didn't fight harder for Pete.

'It's complicated.' Ellie had known she would have to have this conversation with Poppy eventually. The wine had relaxed her enough and three years had gone by. Time was, in fact, a healer in this instance.

'Pete wasn't the only unfaithful person in the relationship.'

Ellie had never shared this with anyone, not even Pete, although he knew and told her he knew so she hadn't denied it.

'Jesus, Ellie, really? Was it just before he left, is that why he went?'

Poppy had always known there was something Ellie was holding back and that she would tell her one day, but she hadn't expected this.

'No, no...it was years ago, Sam was still small, around 4. Things were not good between Pete and me, we weren't having sex, we weren't talking... it was difficult. I took a break for a week, met a guy....it was a fling, really. Then I went home and Pete knew as soon as I walked through the door. At first it seemed to make things better, you know? He made a bigger effort, we both did, we were like teenagers, shagging all over the house!' Ellie laughed at the memory.

'It didn't last?' Poppy was listening intently.

'Well, we had Kyle and while I was pregnant he started sleeping with his secretary. I found some receipts for jewellery, perfume. We talked about it and he ended things and we agreed to start afresh. Ben came along later but I knew it was only a matter of time. Every row became a raking over old coals and the last time he went off I couldn't be bothered to fight anymore. Still a shock, though...' Ellie drifted off, remembering the children's' faces as they watched their Dad walk away from the house with his suitcase.

'Oh my god, Ellie, I can't believe you didn't tell me any of this!'

'I wasn't exactly proud of myself, not something to boast about.' Ellie drained her glass and refilled it. She was feeling tipsy.

'What was he like.....?' Poppy leaned towards Ellie conspiratorially, a gleam in her eye.

'Jesus, I tell you I was unfaithful to my husband and you want to know if the guy was a good fuck?' Ellie laughed until she had tears running down her face.

Poppy laughed too.

'Well, was he?' She grinned.

Ellie was thoughtful for a moment. She hadn't thought about it in such a long time, not in such detail.

'Actually, he was lovely. Another time, another situation... who knows? It was quite intense, considering it was just a week.'

'Did you fall in LOVE with him? Oh my god Ellie, that’s more than just a weeks' shagging!'

Poppy could understand now why things had been so difficult. Emotional attachments are harder to break.

'I did, yes... but I was with Pete, he was with someone too. It was just a... fling, thing....' She grinned at Poppy. It felt good to share it, no one had known, or did know, the extent of it and the only person who would have listened without judging was Poppy. 'Anyway...' Ellie laughed ' You got any tequila?'

Poppy grinned and stood up to get the bottle.

'Ellie McDonald you are a dark horse... and I intend to wheedle every last secret out of you if its the last thing I do!'

PLEASE REVIEW! I know there's nothing sexy yet, please be patient and I hope it's worth waiting for, there's plenty of it!