Maid Service

A/N: Five chapters to go! Enjoy, ne?

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"Don't mind Tom and Georg too much, they like making trouble for anyone visiting." Gustav shot Bill a smile over his shoulder. "Are you hot in that coat?"

Bill shrugged and looked around the moderately sized kitchen. It was relatively cleaner than the living room and what little he'd seen of the house already. "I'm used to it," he replied finally, looking at Gustav.

"Do you want to take it off?"

Bill shrugged again and unzipped the coat, slipping off the coat with practiced ease. He felt Gustav's eyes roam his body and he smiled, twirling around and letting the skirt flare out. He giggled softly, facing Gustav.

"Close you mouth," he said. "A fly's going to fly right in there and you'll choke and then I'll have to hide your dead body somewhere." He giggled softly.

Gustav licked his lips before closing his mouth. "Are you seriously going to be wearing that?" he asked.

Bill pouted. "Do I offend?" he asked, shoulders slumping.

Gustav shook his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Not at all," he said. "You look positively hot, I was wondering how long it may take for you to get jumped by Tom."

Bill frowned then, placing a hand on his hips. "Just because I dress like this doesn't give me rights to kick the arse of people who try to grab at me," he said.

"I never said that."

"But you implied it."

Gustav sighed and shook his head. "Feel free to look through the kitchen and the lower floor of the house," he said, turning towards a staircase Bill hadn't seen until Gustav had turned. "I'll be down in the basement, trying to sort some shit out." With that, he walked down the stairs quickly, a tell-tale flush on his cheeks and neck.

Bill smiled widely, giggling. "I like him," he said to himself, placing his suitcase under a stool and his jacket on top of it before looking around the area. He decided to first survey the fridge and freezer before looking through the cabinets. Bill made his way around the island and looked the fridge up and down, a small frown marring his lips. It was a basic fridge in white, but months without care gave it a slight tannish hue. Making a face at the colour, Bill opened the door and was invaded by the smell of molding cheese.

"Gods, don't they clean this thing?" Bill poked around the meagre items in the fridge, looking in the drawers before closing it and opening the freezer, bending over the low door to peer inside. Said freezer was full of TV dinners and microwaveable foods. Bill dangled a foot in the air, searching for any sign of meat or poultry, but found none. He frowned and stood upright while closing the door.

"This microwaving phase has got to go."

"I try doing that, but we always end up going back to the microwave." Bill started and turned swiftly to face Gustav. Gustav smiled and shrugged. "We're too lazy to cook an actual meal, so we revert to the easy. In this case, cooking through a microwave."

"Do you realize how unhealthy most of that shit is?" Bill asked, his nose scrunching up in distaste. "Your fridge is one to compete with the unhealthy; you have molding food in there."

Gustav looked sheepish. "An attempt on my part to get them to eat cheese," he said.

"Seems to be an attempt to eat dairy in general," Bill said, scooting away from the fridge with a wary look. "I can't work with a fridge like that, with the state it's in." He shuddered slightly. "I need to clean and sterilize that thing before ever thinking about putting fresh food in there."

"Or get a new fridge," Gustav suggested.

Bill nodded. "That, too," he said, grabbing for his suitcase and jacket. "Uhm...where will I be sleeping?"

"You'll be sleeping in the guest room five doors down from our rooms," Gustav said, leading Bill through a different door and up a spiraling staircase. He then took a left and walked down a dimly lit hall and stopped before a closed door. "This is your room. We all pitched in to get it as clean as we could, but it's still pretty much a mess."

"Thank you," Bill said, smiling. "Would you like to join me in a small shopping trip to get food for tonight?"

"Sure." Gustav smiled back, opening the door for Bill. "I'll be out here, just come out when you're set."

Bill nodded and walked into the room, tripping on an upturned chair in the process. He stumbled about for a couple seconds before straightening himself and glaring at the offending chair. He straightened the chair before searching out a source of light, moving his hands over the walls and surveying the room with what little light filtered in from the open door. Bill searched for another few minutes before giving a squeal of triumph and flicked on the lamp sitting on a desk behind a pile of notebooks. Light flooded into the room, so Bill closed the door and went to work on organizing his area.

When he was moderately pleased with the arrangements, he tossed his suitcase onto the bed and opened it. He poked around, chewing his bottom lip in thought. Going food shopping in the clothes he wore at the moment would arise questions, so Bill settled on something casual; a denim mini skirt and light blue blouse. Though it wasn't as casual, it was how others dressed, so it was casual enough. He unzipped and wiggled out of the dress, folding it neatly before picking up the blouse. He shrugged into it, buttoning it up and popping the collar with a giggle before righting it. He smoothed down the blouse, grabbing and slipping into the skirt soon after.

Satisfied with himself, Bill smiled and exited the room just as a loud moan from downstairs sounded. Bill blinked and looked at Gustav, to whom was very red. Gustav gestured vaguely to the stairs and went down quickly, muttering quietly to himself. Bill followed Gustav after quickly grabbing and tossing on his jacket, curious as to who moaned. Surely it couldn't be what Bill though it to be, right?

How wrong he was.

Bill stood behind Gustav, staring open-mouthed at a heavily embarrassed Tom and a grinning Georg. He vaguely heard Gustav talking about him and how shocked he must be. Honestly, Bill got this many times from other people, so it never bothering him too much. He felt Georg's eyes on him and he looked at him before spotting the come stain on the edge of the couch. He scowled. There were few things he refused to clean and forced others to do and come was on the top of the list...unless it was his own, of course.

Bill shook his head, scowling at the pair. "There's few things I refuse to clean," he said. "Come is on the top of those few things, so either you clean that couch by the time I get back from shopping or you're getting a new one."

"I like that couch," Gustav commented.

"Since when did you become my mother?" Tom snapped.

"Since I entered this place," Bill retorted, lips set in a deep frown. "Gustav tries, but nothing works." He smiled lightly at Gustav before frowning at Tom. "I don't know how you three men function in such a mess, but things have got to change or you're without a maid, paying the money for the entire month."

"You can't do that!" Tom cried.

"Oh, I assure you, Tom, I can." Bill smirked and sniffed lightly. "I'm going out to get food and I expect that couch to be clean of come and the freezer cleaned of all that microwaved shit." With that, he brushed past Gustav and past Tom and Georg, his head held high.

All three watched him go before Gustav cracked a smile. "You better listen to him, you two," he said. "Seems to me, we're going to be in for a long month."

Tom snorted, still trying to cover himself. "Does he honestly expect us to throw away all that food?" he asked.

"He does," Gustav replied.

"Gustav!" Bill's voice filtered in from the foyer, his voice laced with sugary sweetness. "I thought you were going shopping with me!"

Gustav made a face. "I am!" he called back, giving Tom and Georg a pointed look. "Make sure that stain is gone by the time we get back." With that, Gustav left.

Tom glanced at Georg, grinning. Georg looked at him, shaking his head. "Don't even think about teasing Gustav," he said. "You did that one time and you ended up in the basement for a week."

"Thankfully, you gave me food so I didn't keel over in there," Tom said.

"True," Georg said, nodding. "Now, to get that couch clean..."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Bill walked into the local grocer's, looking around himself before heading off in the direction of produce with Gustav following behind.

"How much do you plan on getting?" Gustav asked when Bill started picking up some apples and smelling them. "If you plan on getting a lot, I'd suggest getting the fridge first."

"What a wonderful idea, Gustav!" Bill beamed, placing both apples in his hands into a bag. "You can go next-door and find a fridge."

"I didn't say that," Gustav said.

"Sure sounded like it," Bill mumbled, poking through heads of lettuce.

"Why don't you wait until tomorrow to pick up more food instead of getting it all now and having to put it in the fridge back home," Gustav suggested.

Bill halted his movements, tapping his fingers on a lettuce head. "You're right," he said. "Oh, well. The best I can do now is to get food for dinner." Without another word, Bill walked off towards the isles, muttering to himself.

Gustav shook his head and followed, wondering what exactly Bill was going to make.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Tom had just finished cleaning the couch when the front door opened, the rusty hinges squealing in protest. He heard Bill's indignant whine about oiling the doors before the aforementioned male walked into the living room. Bill spotted Tom and smiled.

"Get the stain out?"

"Yes and it was a bitch to do it," Tom replied, glaring at the couch.

"Well, now that you've learned to not fuck on a couch again, go find Georg for me and tell him that dinner will be ready within the hour," Bill said, smiling.

Tom frowned and stood. "Why the hell should I listen to you?" he asked.

"Because your arse wouldn't do it anyway, so telling you seems to be logical," Bill replied, as if it were obvious.

Tom's frown deepened and stormed out of the room, fists clenched at his sides.

Bill watched Tom leave, looking at Gustav. "Is it really that easy to rile him up?" he asked.

"Only when you actually can piss him off," Gustav replied, smiling. "You've managed to do perfectly in pissing him off, so you'll have a fun time, I imagine."

Bill smiled back. "You know I will," he said, heading into the kitchen.

Gustav followed and dropped the bags of purchases onto the island counter. "So, what's for dinner?" he asked.

"You'll have to wait and see," Bill said, turning to Gustav. "Now get out of the kitchen before I kick it out."

"Why would I have to leave?" Gustav asked.

"I'm not comfortable cooking around other people," Bill replied, chewing his bottom lip. "The last time someone did watch me, I ended up overcooking the food."

Gustav nodded. "Then I'll leave you to your cooking." He then turned and left.

Bill sighed and looked around the kitchen. He went to work on finding the correct pots and pans, cleaning the island and other counters before pulling out a cutting board and going to work on chopping vegetables.

With the vegetables done and simmering in a pan, Bill shuffled around the kitchen, cleaning every surface that needed a scrubbing. His thoughts turned to earlier and how he scolded Tom. He supposed Tom was right when it came to Bill pushing people around, but it had to be done. Otherwise, things would never get done and would just sit there, unattended and dirty. Bill finished cleaning and placed the sponge by the sink, focusing on finishing dinner. He wanted this dinner to be like a welcoming feast of sorts, wanting it perfect before presenting it to the three men. With the food nearly done, Bill called up the stairs to alert them about dinner. He heard their footfalls on the stairs and sighed, getting everything together on a tray he had located while searching through the cabinets. He hoisted the tray up and onto his shoulder, hoping that they would like what he made...

~TBC~