The Voice of a Prophet

THE VOICE OF A PROPHET
Chapter Two
SILVER COIN
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been a while since I had heard from any of them. A long while. I locked myself up in my small apartment and did nothing with my life. I wanted to make music. No matter how hard I tried to will myself to do it though, I couldn't bring myself to want to go and audition for anybody but him. So I sat. I'm sure even my pet rats were starting to worry about my lack of emotion. I talked to nobody. If my phone would ring, I let the answering machine pick it up. At least until the day I heard his voice being recorded.
Beep!
"Hey, Kyo. It's Kaoru. I was out at a show the other day, and I met this awesome guy. He plays bass and is looking for a new band, so I told him we were missing a bassist. If you're still interested, we're all going out to lunch tomorrow to get to know him, let me know if you can go. Talk to you later!"
Click.
I could do nothing but stare blankly at my television screen. Kaoru still wanted to try? With me as his vocalist? I was getting another chance. I quickly scrambled to my socked feet, practically diving around my living room couch for the phone. My ungraceful hands picked up the receiver and tucked it between my ear and shoulder, and I quickly went to dialing my leader's number. I rarely talked to him on the phone, even back when we were together as La:Sadies. Really, the only times we did so was if I had slept in and he was calling me to wake me up, or if he needed to let me know something of importance was coming up, had changed, that sort of thing. Needless to say, calling him to plan lunch was a little awkward.
"Hello?"
I stammered a bit before finding my quiet voice. "Nnn-hi, Kaoru, it's Kyo. I-"
He interrupted me before I could manage everything I wanted to say in one giant run on sentence, which was probably for the better. "Hey! How are you doing, Kyo? It's good to hear from you again."
"Ah, genki, I guess... how are you...?" Yeah, it was definitely weird to be holding a real conversation with him over the phone; I had to actually be social. Falling back onto the backside of my couch, I set my rear end against it and crossed my legs at the ankle.
"I'm good, excited for tomorrow. So can you make it?"
"Nnn... hai, I have no plans..."
"Sugoi! We're meeting around noon at the restaurant behind our studio, and maybe afterwards if everyone likes him we'll show him around and play for a bit."
I blinked my wide eyes slowly, pursing my lips. The first day, and Kaoru wanted to get out the instruments. I suppose I should have known better though, I'm sure we all missed it, even if it was just for goofing around and getting a feel of each other's talent. "Okay..."
"Alright, well I'll see you tomorrow then! Jaa, Kyo!"
"Jaa ne, Kaoru..."
Click.
I slowly moved to hang up the receiver back where it belonged. To my surprise he hadn't made any comment about me in particular getting along with the soon-to-be-bassist-of-our-band. If Kaoru liked him, it was almost a given that he would be in it for sure. My mind began to wonder. What would he be like? I had this image of bassists now burned into my mind that they all were jerks. Damn Kisaki. I hoped I never had to see his ugly face ever again. And if this new guy was good, La:Sadies would just come back, but with a new member? Drifting away from my couch I headed into my bathroom in almost a trance of thought. Lifting my eyes to the pathetic reflection staring back at me, I brushed a hand through my black again hair. I had gotten rid of the color not long after we had broken up, just not feeling festive for it anymore. I frowned, watching as my plush lips tugged downwards. I was so easy to read. Glancing about my countertop, I soon reached for the tweezers sitting nearby. Without much contemplation, I raised them to my features, and with a squint of an eye, I began plucking my brows back into a slender, feminine shape.
Once finished with that, I slipped into my bedroom. To my closet, soon digging through my wardrobe. I couldn't quite place why I was suddenly concerned with my self-image. Picking out a nice looking white button down with cuffs that flared out, I tossed it onto my desk. Pants came next, simple black slacks that soon followed to rest on top of the shirt. I stooped to pick out a nice pair of somewhat heeled boots to wear as well, setting them on the floor beside my desk. Moving then to a drawer, I began sifting through some accessories. A slender black collar was picked up between my digits, and set upon the clothing that had started a trend upon my desk. Yeah, that would do. Maybe if it was chilly out I would wear my nice looking, long black coat.
Lowering my fingers to the hem of the turtleneck I was currently wearing, I tugged it up, over my head and tossed it into the closet with a sigh. I then sank into my bed, eyes drifting over to the clock resting on my bedside table to catch the time.
8:05 P.
Another deep sigh filtered my lungs as I closed my eyes, relaxing back to think. It was quiet and dark in my apartment, save for the soft glow of a lamp in my bedroom. Tomorrow I would get to see him again. I would get a chance to start over. Right then I swore I wouldn't fuck it up this time. Even if I hated everyone in the band, I would keep my mouth shut. All I would do is sing. Sing until I was perfect. I would live for the music. Live for him.
Before I dozed off, I remember all I could think about was him, smiling at me.

The sun was warm today, as my boots clicked lightly against the sidewalk that carried me to the restaurant we were supposed to be meeting at. No coat adorned my attire. I had woken up earlier than I usually do though, being quite fond of sleep - everyone always used to make fun of my napping habits - and spent a good hour or so on my appearance. Yeah, I was pathetic. Light makeup made my skin seem flawless, just enough eyeliner to accentuate my wide eyes, and just enough shade to bring out my plush lips. My hair was soft, I swear I had dragged that brush through it a million times, and it framed my face, whisping about slightly in the light breeze.
Reaching forward, I pushed the large double doors open with a naked hand, before stepping on inside. It wasn't hard to pick out which party I belonged either, the laughter was heard well enough. Carrying myself over to the table my group was seated at, Die was the first to recognize me. Obviously I was the last to show. "Konnichiwa, Kyo-chan!"
Of course after my name being called out, all of the other's turned to look as well. God, it felt good to just see him again. His long dark hair was pulled back from his face in a loose ponytail, a simple t-shirt upon his form and comfortable looking gray slacks. He wore that beautiful wide grin too, apparently one of them had been making a joke before hand. I couldn't help the soft smile of complete happiness that crossed my lips at the sight. He hadn't changed much. Neither had the rest of them, really. Die looked like a dork, per usual, blue jeans on his legs and a t-shirt as well. Shinya actually had some fashion sense, dress pants and a long sleeved top, with his own hair done and makeup on. Good, I didn't feel so dumb for dressing up anymore. I allowed for my dark eyes to then fall upon the newcomer, the bassist-to-be, and the first thing I noted was his height. He was tall too, taller than Die. Why couldn't somebody be shorter than me, or at least my own height! He was slender as well, and had a feminine touch to his features. Pretty, with his dark eyes squinting up into crescents as he wore a bemused, crooked grin. I think his teeth were worse than mine, by a long shot. It was cutesy though, almost.
Kaoru spoke up after the brief time it took me to look over the others. "Toshiya, this is Kyo, our vocalist. Kyo, meet Toshiya. He is going to be our new bassist."
Is? For sure, already? I didn't even get a say. Oh well, what did I expect, really. Everyone else seemed to like him, and it was my fault the last bassist was gone anyway, so why wait for my opinion? Pushing a false smile to my features, I offered a slight bow of my head in the man's direction. "Niimura Kyo desu. Hajimemashite."
A squeak of a chair across the flooring caused me to look up a bit, as the male rose himself to a stand, and bowed low as well before me. "Hara Toshimasa desu, hajimemashite Kyo-san." He grinned again then, before falling back into his seat. "You can just call me Toshiya, or Toshi though."
As he returned to his chair, it hit me then. He was sitting next to my leader. I narrowed my eyes a bit absentmindedly at the sight, and shuffled slightly into finding my own spot. I wanted to claim his other side, but of course, it was already occupied. I didn't feel like shoving my skinny ass in between Shinya and Kaoru either, that would be rude, and squishing in between Toshiya and Kaoru was definitely out of the question, and probably would be a little creepy. So instead I offered a quiet sigh under my breath and dropped into the open position beside the other guitarist, who reached out and patted my shoulder in greeting. "Ne, Warumono, we haven't heard from you in so long, how are you?"
I recoiled briefly away from his intruding hand with a scowl, not feeling very touchy feely at the moment. "Fine," was my simple, flat answer. I could sense Die's pout even though my eyes were now locked upon my hands in my lap, but before he could whine about how I was always anti-social or something, Kaoru spoke up once more.
"Now that Kyo's here, we can order!"
I grumbled a bit and shifted my gaze momentarily up towards the colorful menu laid out before me. For some reason, I wasn't feeling very hungry. I sort of felt as though I didn't want to be there anymore. Thankfully, Toshiya had suggested just ordering a giant pizza to split between the five of us, rather than picking out single meals for everybody. Good thing, because I really didn't want to argue with people to why I wasn't picking out my own food. I pursed my lips a bit, keeping my head bowed slightly and crossing one of my slender legs over the other as I busied myself with my own thoughts. He was going to be our new bassist. We would likely go swing by the practice room then after lunch, to show him around. And knowing Kaoru, he would make everybody play a little piece to 'warm up', to get a feel of everyone's styles. That would mean I would have to sing for this stranger. The thought made me feel even more sick.
Tearing me rather abruptly from my thoughts suddenly was a rather... awkward sound. It was like somebody was strangling a hyena. I furrowed my brows in confusion and glanced about, and once I found the source, I'm sure the look upon my face wasn't very inviting. It was Toshiya. Apparently his laugh sounded like a beaten dog. Joy. To make things even better, everyone was staring at me. "... hn?"
"Kaoru-san asked you what you wanted to drink!" And again came that sickening laugh, which caused Kaoru to chuckle. Great, now he was making my leader laugh. It was all going to happen again, with the bassist winning his affection and me being pushed aside.
"Nn... gomen... water..." I mumbled, sinking lower into my seat and dropping my vision once more. I felt the silence hovering heavily over the table like a plague then, and Die turned to me once more.
"Ne, Kyo-chan, are you alright?"
I nodded my head quickly, forcing another fake smile to grace my plush lips. "Hai, I... didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Lying through my teeth, but who cared. I went to bed practically at eight o'clock, and didn't wake up until about ten. I glanced up at the elder then, showing him my 'smile', trying to convince him that I was fine. Die seemed okay with that though, and as the waitress brought us our drinks and set the big pan of pizza in the center of the table, I heard my leader snort.
"You? Not getting enough sleep? Wow, it must be the apocalypse." And again, the entire table snickered. I sighed softly, choosing not to say anything. Instead I reached for my glass of water and brought the straw to my lips, taking a very tiny sip. I had to pre-occupy myself before they forced the greasy food down my throat.

That had to have been the worst outing I had ever been to, and it wasn't even over yet. Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives, joking around and getting to know each other, talking about future plans for music and where they wanted it to go. I stayed silent the entire time, and apparently my lack of enthusiasm didn't go completely unnoticed, as they left me mostly to myself. I found myself following the others back to the studio now though, trailing in the back a good distance away from them. Die and Shinya were in front of me, the guitarist pestering the drummer as usual, and Kaoru was leading the way, a very loud Toshiya by his side. Jealousy burned my cheeks as my feet kicked at a few pebbles along the way. They just clicked. I wish I could click. Glaring at the ground I buried myself in hatred. Why couldn't I be tall, slender, and beautiful? Why couldn't I have an amazing personality, a sense of humor? I suppose I could fake it, but that would be such a complete flip of how I acted, everyone would know I was up to something. Not to mention I'd probably fail at it anyway, I can't make anybody smile. Especially not him.
As we entered our studio, everybody moved to claim a seat. Die fell into a chair at the table, Shinya his usual seat by his practice drum set, and Toshiya may as well have been glued to Kaoru's side as they sank into the couch. I wanted to jump off of a cliff. Since there was a lack of cliffs in the room however, I reluctantly dropped myself into a chair opposite of the guitarist. I paid little attention to any words the others were saying, focused on the usual spot at the table I tended to glare at when lost in my head. Soon I heard the tuning of a guitar though, and perked up enough to see Kaoru tuning his instrument in his lap, before he began to pluck out a quick, simple tune. My eyes never left him. From the way his slender fingers fell into the exact spot on the strings, the graceful way his hand glided up and down the neck of his guitar, to the way his wrist flowed liquidly to hit all of the right notes. The way he pursed his own thin lips in concentration, still carrying a small smirk of fun, to the way he bobbed his head slightly with the beat. He was so damn beautiful.
Once finished, he just grinned up at Toshiya. The bassist laughed and clapped, Die whistling insanely like a goof. And he was next. Being the rhythm guitarist, he was quick with his notes, and tended to play more strings at once. He wasn't bad, really, he was real good. But to me, he was nothing compared to Kaoru. Shinya was next, moving to his drums to begin a light beat. He was good too. Everyone was - which was why I was so surprised they kept me as their vocalist. They could find someone a thousand times better than me who deserved to play with all of them, someone who knew what they were doing. But I had promised myself I would get better. Kaoru had given me another chance, and I would work so hard, until my vocal cords bled from practice. Until I passed out from lack of energy. Until I could really make him proud of me.
Sooner than I realized, I was up next. I blinked a few times, my eyes wide with surprise. I had no idea what to do. I needed to sing, but what? I couldn't just wing a few sounds, strum some chords, and sound cool. No, I had to make sense with what I was saying, show what my voice could do. Clearing my throat a bit, I swallowed a slight lump. My hands wrought together a bit nervously before me underneath the table, and before actually thinking, I simply began.
"My all, rotten through and through... for some reason I keep searching for the words... the passing seasons will change me, until I can't go anywhere, even now I... even though I thought eventually things would change, even now... when one day it stops making me sad, I'll have loved you 'till I've cried myself dry..." I felt myself well up with emotion as I sang, my throat tightening and causing my voice to crack a bit. I had no idea what I was doing. Closing my sharp eyes, I continued, drifting off into my own little world. The one where it was just he and I, and I was singing just for him. Pouring my soul out, trying to get him to understand. Wishing he would just...
"The one I love most may as well not be in this world... you're breaking my heart of glass... please, take me in those cold arms, at least for now... so that this dream never goes cold again..." I choked up a bit, my voice raising. I didn't even realize the other's had froze, entranced with the song. My voice. I was probably overdoing it for just this little thing, but I couldn't stop. The words just kept spilling out from inside of me. "The one I love most may as well not even be in this world... you're breaking my heart of glass... please, take me in those cold arms, at least for now... I'll never have a dream like this again... and there'll never be a night as wretched..." I paused, taking a breath - though it sounded more like a soft sob. "... I wish you'd just take me in your arms... I keep searching for a secret love, the sad night never ends..."
Silence. I stopped, opening my eyes and getting a hold of myself once more. I hadn't meant to spout out all of that, it just... came. I glanced around to the surprised faces, all of their eyes locked upon me. A look of panic washed over my own features briefly, figuring I had taken it too far. Fuck. I lowered my head again, watching my hands with false interest. "Nn... Gomen nasai..." I managed, frowning.
Kaoru was the first to speak up. "Kyo, that was amazing."
I nearly fainted right there. He had complimented me. I had entranced him enough to get him to say something positive about me. I... amazed him. My heart practically exploded in my chest. Lifting my head, I met his gaze with a small, shy smile, countered by his own small upturn of appreciation. Right then, I felt my cheeks stain over in crimson. I had to drop my head once more to watch my lap to keep from beaming like an idiot. I felt like crying in happiness.
"Holy shit Kyo-chan, sing like that more often!" Die grinned broadly then too, Shinya nodding his head in agreement. Toshiya seemed baffled.
"You have an amazing vocalist, Kaoru-san." Turning his goofy toothed grin to my leader, the bassist continued. "I would be honored to be in your band."
Kaoru smiled again, tipping his head as well. "You're in then." A quick cheer escaped Toshiya and Die then, Shinya tapping his hands together briefly. Reaching out to set his guitar back in it's stand, Kaoru brought his hands before him and popped his fingers without a thought, looking over his band members once more. "I was thinking we could still go on as La:Sadies, but now with a new bassist..." He paused, looking straight at me again. "... And with Kyo's new emotion, I think we need to start anew."
I grinned to myself. He liked my emotion. Dropping my hands onto the table top now rather than keeping them hidden in my lap, I made myself a mental promise. I would practice so hard. I would perform with my entire heart, expelling energy until I fainted. I would show so much damn emotion that I would get people to cry with me. To touch them with how much sorrow I was carrying, and share it with them. To get them to grieve in their own misery with me. Whatever I felt, I would make sure everyone else felt through my words, through my voice. That was my promise to me. And he would be proud.

When we had finally left the studio, the decided name of our new band was Dir en grey. Like most bands, we had a goal - to become famous. We each had our own individual goals, I'm sure - and I would work on mine every single day.

To make him feel my emotion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter two!! Just because I got a good, lengthy review from 'Devy'. xD She saved yo' butts! XDXD
How I see it is if you have the time to read, you have the time to let me know you enjoyed it. It doesn't take very long just to add an extra click and leave me a quick sign to show you read it and look forward to more. (Fanfiction fails at sending me e-mails letting me know I have reviews... good thing I checked here by chance today xD;)
Anyway, as usual, R&R! <3 And I'm well aware that some details probably aren't right... but I don't feel like going through and re-writing anything. xD So use your imaginations. xD;