NIGHTS

Another personality flaw I used to have is shyness. I had always considered myself the shy one of us two, since social interactions never seemed to work with me. The only one I could talk to without feeling strange or out of place was Thomas. And in my eyes, he seemed so much more developed, more like an adult than I ever felt I could be. So when he mumbled something about his wish to wear masks in public, I was surprised.

'I just don't want us to become like them,' he had said. 'I don't want them to recognize us when we don't want them to. We should be free, so we should hide ourselves.'

I agreed with every word, and was relieved that we both wanted the same thing, albeit for different reasons. But maybe he was shy too, somehow. I had seen him stare at the crowds that would gather at our first small venues, and sometimes we looked at each other as a silent cry for help. He wasn't the same on a stage as he was with me, and I figured that so many people scared him.

'It sounds interesting enough to try,' I said.

'Well, will you join me and wear a mask for the rest of your life?'

As he said it, he laid his hand on my shoulder. If I had disagreed with him, that simple sign of affection would certainly have convinced me to say yes after all. But of course I wanted to join him. I wanted to join him in every plan he had, no matter how crazy. I had followed him for years now, so what would a few more change?

We tried a few masks we had made from basic material. We laughed out loud because we looked so stupid.

'But it will work,' he said when he had finally recovered from his laughing fit, lying on his bed, the mask in his hand. 'We are going to be someone else. A blank.'

He looked at me, clearly satisfied with his idea. 'We're gonna put it all upside down.'

I looked at my mask, staring my new identity in the eyes. I liked it. It looked better than my actual face.

After receiving our robot helmets, only a few weeks went by before we became robots. We had worn them a couple of times, and they fit so perfectly that they seemed to grow on us. We loved them. And we were the same in our difference from the rest, almost identical on the outside. I had never felt more like being a unity, existing as one.

I pressed a button on one of our keyboards when he whispered it in my ear. 'You are a robot.'

Forget your name. Stop your thoughts. Shut down your heart. You are a robot.

***