Wounded Wolf

January 1985. Things are going well. On the last day he was in the hospital he pressed a crumbled piece of paper into my hand. A consent to prison visitation, my name on  it in his sloppy handwriting. Every Sunday he's been telling me about the environment, and how I can do my part to fix it. He's also been beating me at chess every week! 

I know he'll find out that I'm hiding a secret.  At first I didn't believe that I was pregnant. We only had sex three times! What was I, a walking urban legend? But my breasts continued to swell painfully, and I got sicker in the evenings and mornings. Eventually, when none of my bras fit and I couldn't even keep breakfast down, I nicked a test from work.

Positive. What would Charlie think? Would he be mad at me, or abandon me? Worse, what if he didn't want to keep it? I try to swallow my feelings. He is vehemently against hurting any life. Even if there's a roach in his cell, he won't crush it. He refuses the meat in his meals. He wouldn't want that option on the table.

Before I leave for the prison, I tie a tie dye scarf over my nearly bald head. When he asked me to shave it just once, to begin my new life, I happily obliged. I also agreed to carve a small red X into my forehead. I put on a pair of pastel pink panties, and a camisole, then a cute sky blue dress. 

At the door, I get the standard metal detector test. It buzzes on a button on my shirt collar. Oh no... A female guard takes me aside for a pat down, and I'm ashamed as she frisks around my breasts. She finds nothing and leads me back to the visiting room.

I look at Charlie. The chess board is set up already. He smiles ear to ear at my buzzed head and little X. I give him the standard hug and kiss we get at the beginning of each visit, and sit down. We play for a bit, before I decide to just drop the bomb.

"Charlie.. I have news..."

He laughs. "What? You're pregnant?"

My eyes go wide, but he snorts and continues. "I know when a woman's knocked up. I can just tell. You came in here crying the other day, because you forgot to mail me a letter. Your skin is smoother, and you can't even button your shirts up. Come on, don't insult my intelligence. I've always wanted more kids, but we have to keep the baby healthy, so there are a few rules.."

I nod pathetically. He's suddenly serious. 

"I can't have you eating any meat, okay? And get on some good vitamins. Pregnant or not, I don't want you seeing any male doctors.. no modern medicine, period. No eyeglasses either, not even readers. I'm going to make some calls about getting you set up at the ATWA commune a few minutes from here; I'll have someone pick you up Monday morning."

I continue nodding, and he helps me take a deep breath. 

"I'll get to work on a blame doll for the child today. And we can look at a marriage license. Pinkie, honey, would you do me the honor?"

I blush at the name, the one he gave me, but nod.

"Oh, of course!" I know what marriage means. Conjugals.

"One more thing. Checkmate."

I look down at the board to see that he has once again beaten me in very little time..

"Charlieeeeee!" I giggle.