The Second Circle Resort

Celebs featured: Madalina Ghenea, Camila Cabello

You might be asking right now, “Okay, seriously, how does the resort make money?” Well, if you must know, to answer that question, one person has to be introduced. You probably haven’t heard of Romanian model and actress Madalina Ghenea, but Captain personally owes a lot to her. She was absolutely integral to his last resort's operations, and she’s the reason he's an ass guy.

Here at Second Circle, she’s in charge of spreadsheets, as he likes to put it. Part of her job includes finding and screening potential benefactors. Madalina will make phone calls and do a background check, and if she finds an individual who is in good financial standing, who can behave themselves, keep a secret, and stay out of legal trouble, then they become a benefactor. And when that happens, they can visit the resort. Madalina will show the benefactor inside and introduce them to a woman who fits their taste. At that point, the benefactor can do whatever they want with the woman short of having sex. Captain got the idea from this one movie with Emily Browning, who is incidentally also a member of the resort. Get ready for a lot of name drops going forward.

The first benefactor to visit shall remain anonymous. Madalina and Captain greeted him at the front entrance and showed him inside. She told him how grateful they were for his support, then took out a clipboard she had tucked under her arm and showed him a paper with a list of names for him to choose. He spent no more than three seconds reading the list before he noticed that Camila Cabello was on there and looked back up at them to say she was the one he wanted.

“I will call her down right now,” Madalina said as she walked to the phone in her office.

“Gracias,” the benefactor attempted to show off.

“Ah, Ud. debió decirnos que habla español.”

When you’ve spent as much time taking Spanish classes in school as Captain had, you find that you just can’t help yourself sometimes. The benefactor humbly held up his hands.

“I’m sorry. I actually don’t know enough Spanish to speak in full sentences.”

"No need to worry," Madalina called over from the door of her office. "No one here will care."

Camila came down to the lobby about six or seven minutes later wearing a ruby-colored bathrobe and matching slippers. It was half past eleven at night, and as Camila later said of their time together, they didn’t do much until the next morning. That night, they just fell asleep watching a movie.

You see, it would be easy to bait benefactors with the chance to have sex with the celebrity of their choice. But Captain is of the opinion that you have to work toward that first. If the woman doesn’t like you all that much, the most she’ll give you is oral sex where she couldn’t be more obviously not into it if she tried.

The next thing for Madalina to do with the benefactor is to thank them as they escort them back out of the resort. She’ll explain how they should go about sending money and then they just bid them farewell as they drive back out. After that, Madalina adds to the spreadsheet they made to keep track of benefactors, their payments, and what they did during each visit.

You might be asking right now, “Hang on, you have people come over and pay to spend time in a room with the women? Isn’t that a brothel?” In that sense, yes, but in a general sense, it’s virtually indistinguishable from any other resort. Plus, there’s less stigma in saying these people are visiting this remote location because it’s a resort.

The resort has a breakfast bar.

Do brothels have breakfast bars?

The defense rests its case.