Freak

Frank's POV.

I was selfish. I was really, really selfish. I heard Gerard talking to Mikey, he told him how scared he was of doing something wrong. How he was afraid to talk sometimes, because he didn't want to make me angry. What kind of person am I? Making Gerard feel that way?

I'm selfish.

It's not enough anymore. Loving Gerard, isn't enough. Him loving me isn't enough. This has to stop, I can't do it anymore. Everything is too much. Way too much. Holding him, kissing him, loving him, everything is too much.


"Gerard, we have to talk." My voice low and filled with sorrow. Gerard looked up at me, his eyes shining - soon they wouldn't. But he'd get over it, because it was for the best. Because I couldn't be with him just to make myself happy anymore. I needed to think more about him.

"Always Frank, what about?" He giggled and took my hands in his, I shook my head slighly and pulled my hands out of his grasp. Instead I sat down on the couch with him, where he had been sitting for hours trying to draw. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned. No, not just concerned. Worried. As worried as he always was when talking to me. Always. He could never seem to relax, he was always tensed, because he was so afraid of saying the wrong thing. I couldn't do it to him anymore.

"Sometimes Gerard, even though two people love each other very much, that's not enough." I whispered, not daring to meet his eyes. I knew he looked confused, maybe even scared. I hate myself for saying it, but it had to be done. Better breaking his whole heart now, than piece by piece every day for the rest of our lives. He didn't reply, so I continued. "I have to leave," my voice was thick with unshed tears. But I angrily forced them away. I had to be strong, for him.

"Where? Why? Frank, please!" He cried and grabbed my shoulders, I shook his hands off me. I had to be strong, for him.

"Gerard, I don't want you." I said, not meeting his eyes. I knew I had crossed a line, but it didn't matter. I couldn't be selfish anymore. I heard him sob, and I knew he was crying. I felt his fingers grab my t-shirt, but I shook him off and stood up, swaying slightly. "We're over, I can't pretend anymore."

A punch below the belt, way below the belt. But it needed to be done. Lies needed to be told, in order to make sure he got over me. In order to help him forget me, to help him be himself again. To never be afraid of being himself. His sobs grew louder, and soon he was wailing. His hands tried to grasp mine, but I pushed him off and took a step back. I watched as the most beautiful creature in the world fell to the floor, crying so hard he couldn't breathe. My heart was ripped in two, as I watched him cry, but it had to be done. He was stronger than people gave him credit for, he would get over it. He would be alright.

"Please, God please," he sobbed, tears covering his face now. His nose was running, but I turned my head away.

"I promise you will never have to see me again."

Then I left.

Narrator's POV.

Gerard sat on the floor, his arms wrapped around himself, like he was trying to hold his broken self together. He cried, because there was nothing else he could do. He couldn't talk Frank into staying, because why would Frank stay? He was after all, sick.

He was a freak, a misfit, a retard. He was Gee-tard the retard. He didn't deserve Frank, Gerard had always known that. He knew now, he could just be greatful for the time with Frank he had had. He needed to be thankful for it, because he would never again feel such happiness.

Gerard let out a wail, no longer being able to keep quiet. He wished himself dead, he wished himself normal. He wished himself away. He wanted to be normal, if he was, Frank wouldn't have left. He would have had Frank by his side now. Frank would hold him close, he would tell him how much he loved him.

But it was over now, Gerard knew that. He should stop crying, but he couldn't. He was broken, he was empty, nothing could fix him.

Mikey's POV.

I laughed loudly, holding onto my sides as I tried to open the door. Mum was laughing just as loudly, a hand over her mouth to stop from spitting as she always did when laughing like that. We had been talking about old memories, and the one time I had fallen into a bathtub where mum was dying clothes. I had turned bright purple, and Gerard had cried that I was an alien and that mum had to throw me out.

We were still laughing as I managed to open the door, but when we saw Gerard we stopped.

My brother was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, rocking back and forth and crying violently. Before mum or I had the time to do anything, he turned his broken eyes towards us.

"He left," was all he said, but it was enough.