Playing With Fire

+++++++++++



Carrie walked down the hall, pausing at Kelly's bedroom door. She wanted nothing more than to have that girl lying next to her, but she figured now probably wasn't the best time. The southerner could use some alone time to clear her head and figure things out. Carrie sighed, continuing down the hall towards the guest room.



++++++++++



Carrie never heard the bedroom door opening or closing, and she never heard the pair of bare feet making their way across the carpet, but she felt the covers being raised, and she smiled in content as a soft hand, raised her arm, allowing the owner of the said hand to snuggle into her. Carrie wrapped her arms around the shorter girl, allowing her to move closer.



"Are we changing rooms?" Kelly asked, sighing deeply as she got comfortable.



"I wasn't sure, I mean, I just thought--"



But she was cut off with a innocent kiss.



"I know what you thought," Kelly smiled. "And thank you for that, but what I really need right now is to be with you. Unless, that is, if you wanted to be alone?"



Carrie shook her head, "Why would I want to be alone when I could be with you?"



"Exactly," Kelly replied, kissing her once more before returning to her original position, snuggled into Carrie's neck. She loved the feeling of Carrie's warm skin against hers.



"So," Carrie asked as she ran a lazy hand up and down Kelly's back, giving rise to goose bumps. "Where's your head at?"



She sighed, smiling as Carrie shivered from her breath tickling her skin. She readjusted herself respectfully, knowing that this wasn't the time for that.



"I don't know. I can't help but be mad at my mom, and I hate that, but she had no right to do the things she did or say the things she said."



"She loves you," Carrie replied, resisting the urge to bring a hand up to her cheek that was still tender. "She's just trying to protect you, that's what mother's do."



"Protect me from what?"



"I think she sees me as a threat. She doesn't understand our relationship, and like they say, people reject the unfamiliar, and she also said something about the fact that I'm just in this for the publicity or whatever."



"What publicity? Nobody knows about us," Kelly countered, trying her best to stay calm.



"I know," Carrie replied, kissing her forehead, soothingly. "But like I said, she's just looking out for you. And then there's the fact that she thinks this is wrong, which I mean, it's not her fault. It's been drilled into people's heads to think that way."



"But how could this be wrong?" Kelly asked curiously. "I mean, if people would take the time and see that what we have is real, there is no way that they would say that this is wrong. God, the way you look at me sometimes, I swear I don't know how the whole world doesn't know yet, because it is so powerful and deep and passionate and loving..." she let her voice trail off as she slipped into her own thoughts.



Carrie smiled as she realized that she was in way over her head with this girl. Every minute she spent with her, she would only fall even more in love with her. She knew that soon she would never be able to go back, but she didn't care. She didn't want to ever go back to life before Kelly. Especially not with the way the girl was absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt, her fingers grazing Carrie's stomach every now and then, not even realizing the affect her touch was having.



"Care?" she asked nervously.



Carrie tried not to laugh, knowing that Kelly was biting her lip, even though she couldn't see her face, "Yea?"



"I look at you the same way right? I mean, when I look at you, you know how I feel right?"



"Oh God yes," Carrie replied, pulling her up so that they were eye level. "When you look at me, I can't breathe, my heart starts racing, and I start to wonder how the whole universe doesn't know yet because the way you look at me is so heartfelt and open and just...there's no words to describe it. So yes, when you look at me, I know how you feel."



"Good," Kelly smiled happily.



"Yea," Carrie said, pushing a wavy curl out of Kelly's face. "So don't worry about your mom, ok? She's gonna come around."



"That's what Jason said," she replied, her voice full of doubt.



"You don't believe it?"



"It's not that. It's what he said after that that's bothering me."



"And what's that?"



"He asked if when she came around, whether I would be able to forgive her or not."



"I know you, Kell. You love your mom so much."



"I think that's why it hurts so bad," Kelly replied. "I mean, you expect that from your enemies, not the people you love."



"You don't think you could forgive her?" Carrie asked worriedly. That didn't sound like her at all. She had always been one to forgive so easily, almost to a fault. That's one of the reasons she had gotten hurt so often in the past.



"Care, the things she said--"



"I know what she said," Carrie replied. "Ashley told me. But you know that she didn't mean any of them. You know your mom loves you so much."



Kelly shook her head, "Not the things she said to me, the things she said to you, and the things she did. Carrie, she was so far out of line, and she knew exactly what she was doing."



"Don't worry about any of that."



"How can I not? Don't you hate her now?"



"I don't hate her per se," she sighed. "But that doesn't matter. How I feel about your mom shouldn't affect your relationship with her. She's your mom. She raised you. She helped to make you who you are today."



"But I..." her voice trailed off as she looked at Carrie meaningfully, hoping that Carrie hadn't been lying when she said she knew exactly how Kelly felt when she looked at her.



"I know," Carrie smiled, placing a gentle hand on her cheek. "But I don't want to be the reason for you not having a relationship with your family, ok? I know how important your family is to you because I'm the exact same way. So don't worry about me, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. If you'd invite your mom over tomorrow for dinner, I'd be ok with that. I can handle it."



Kelly smiled at her.



"But," she continued. "If I hear her say one hurtful thing to you, ever, I won't be responsible for my actions, ok?"



"Ok," Kelly nodded, accepting a kiss from her.



"So, you'll at least think about forgiving her?"



She sighed, "If she apologizes for what she did to you, then yes."



"Kell--"



But she shook her head, "No, I know you said you're ok, but I'm not. For her to do that to someone I care so much about was more hurtful than anything she said to me."



Carrie smiled at her, "I love you."



Kelly could only nod, unable to speak. All the events of the day seemed to be crashing down on her at once. She bit her lip, fighting back the tears. She scooted back down in the bed, snuggling into Carrie's body once more. Carrie sighed, knowing what she was doing.



"You know," Carrie whispered into her hair. "You can cry in front of me. I swear I won't tell anybody."



She heard a choked back sob, and immediately tightened her arms around the girl, feeling her warm tears against her neck. Carrie did her best to soothe her as she traced comforting circles on her back, whispering gentle reassurances of her love for her in her ear.



++++++++



"Kelly," Carrie whispered frantically. "Kelly!"



Carrie crept around the tree, her gun up in front of her, "Kelly, I'm scared."



Carrie looked around, searching for her girlfriend. She heard a noise behind her and turned quickly, her gun drawn.



"Hey," Kelly smiled.



"Shit," Carrie breathed shakily. "You frightened me."



"You need to keep your guard up," Kelly said, looking around. Carrie couldn't help but smile at how adorable the girl looked in her camouflage pants, fitted tee, and bandana. She had on war paint that was just visible under her safety glasses.



"Kell, I don't like this," Carrie confided as the shorter girl crept behind a tree.



"Carrie, it's just paintball. It's gonna be fun, trust me," Kelly insisted.



"But it's like freaky quiet out here," Carrie frowned.



"That's the point," Kelly smiled. "Look, don't worry."



"I'm just gonna make you lose," she pouted.



Kelly laughed gently, reaching up to kiss her, "You're not going to make me lose. You're gonna do great."



"Does it hurt?"



"It'll only sting for a bit," Kelly assured her.



"Sting?"



"How about this: every spot you get hit, I'll kiss. Deal?"



"Deal," Carrie grinned. "But hey," she continued as she crept behind Kelly who was sneaking behind a climbing wall. "You realize that's only gonna make me wanna get hit, right?"



Kelly turned around, "I'll only do it, if we win."



"Not fair," Carrie whined, but was cut off when Kelly pulled her down and behind the wall. The sound of paintballs hitting a nearby tree made Carrie smile.



"My girl's good," she grinned.



"And don't you forget it," Kelly replied, giving her another quick kiss, before sneaking around the edge to open fire on whoever had shot at them.



"Ok," Kelly said, still on all fours, glancing around the side of the wall. "We're gonna have to separate, but the coast seems to be clear. Just remember, shoot whoever you want, just not me. You can tell it's me right?"



Carrie just nodded, as she enjoyed the view that was in front of her. Kelly turned her head to eye Carrie.



"You were checking me out, weren't you?" she asked, laughing.



"Yea," Carrie replied honestly. "Don't worry, I can tell which one's you."



"It's the butt huh?"



"Definitely," Carrie nodded. "And the slope," she said, running a finger across the exposed skin of Kelly's back. Kelly sat down, out of Carrie's reach.



"What?" she asked innocently.



"If you want those kisses, we're gonna have to win, and in order for that to happen, I need to concentrate, and I can't concentrate when you are doing that with those skillful hands of yours, now can I?"



Carrie giggled.



"What?"



"That was one long sentence."



Kelly shook her head, laughing, "Alright, you're ready?"



"Ready for what?"



"To get this thing started."



"I'm following you, right?"



"Did you miss the part where I said we were separating?"



Carrie smiled guiltily, "I was distracted."



Kelly rolled her eyes, "Ok, we're going to separate and meet back here in half an hour?"



"I don't want to."



"Why not?"



"Cause I want to be with you," she pouted.



Kelly couldn't resist the urge to kiss her. She smiled as she pulled away, "On three."



"Alright."



"One."



Carrie leaned forward and kissed her.



"Two," she giggled.



Carrie kissed her again.



"Three."



Kelly didn't move as she waited for the kiss, making Carrie laugh as she granted it. Kelly smiled as she darted around the wall and after whoever had been shooting at them.



+++++++++



"This is so not fair," Jason frowned as they all met back at base.



"You're just mad cause you lost to a bunch of girls," Kelly laughed.



"Because you cheated," Einar replied.



Kelly rolled her eyes. She had invited the band over for a few days of fun before they had to start the serious tour rehearsals.



"How did we cheat?" Jill asked. "You out number us."



"By one person," Chris replied.



"Yea, and Kelly doesn't have one single hit on her," Jason added. "That's not possible."



"Don't hate. It's not my fault y'all suck," she laughed.



"Cheater."



"Loser."



"Cheater."



"Um, I know I'm new at this," Carrie said, interrupting the clever banter of the two Clarksons. "But, how can you cheat at paintball?"



The guys looked at her puzzled, not sure of what to say.



"Ha," Kelly laughed, triumphantly. "We win."



Jason sighed, "So what do we have to do?"



Kelly turned to the other four girls as they huddled up in a conference. She turned back around, grinning from ear to ear. She walked over to Jason and whispered their punishment in his ear.



"Oh, come on, you can't be serious," he whined.



"We agreed. No holding back," she smiled.



"It can't be that bad," Aben said.



Jason let out a long breath as he turned around, telling the guys what the girls had planned for them.



"Ok, maybe it can," Aben laughed. "You guys are good," he said to the girls.



"We know," Ashley smiled, dusting the imaginary dirt off her shoulders, making the rest of them burst into laughter.







+++++++++++



"So when do we have to do this?" Chris asked.



"Tonight," Ashley replied with a smile.



"And until then?"



"Nap time," Kelly replied, exhausted from the morning adventure.



+++++++++++



"So, how bad is it?" Kelly asked, climbing on the bed that Carrie was laying on. Kelly straddled her, sitting on Carrie's legs. She suddenly found that she wasn't in the least bit tired anymore.



"Bad," Carrie admitted, raising her shirt some. Kelly could count four hits just in that one area.



"Damn," she tried not to laugh. "You know, the object is not to get hit, right?"



"I know," Carrie fussed. "But the guys weren't playing fair. They kept calling my name, saying that time was up, and when I'd come out from where I was hiding, they'd shoot."



"And they accused us of cheating?"



Carrie stuck out her bottom lip, looking down at her stomach. Kelly smiled, lowering herself over Carrie's midsection, her eyes never leaving Carrie's as she kissed her stomach gently. Carrie struggled not to wince.



"You ok?" Kelly asked worriedly, pushing herself back up.



"It burns," Carrie admitted.



Kelly frowned, biting her lip in thought.



"I got it," she smiled, climbing off of Carrie who immediately pouted. "I'll be right back," Kelly promised. "Until then, take off your shirt."



Carrie raised a cocky eyebrow.



"Just do it," Kelly laughed.



Carrie smiled as the shorter girl hurried out of the room. She could feel the nerves growing as she completely slipped off her shirt, settling back down onto the bed, waiting to hear the gentle patter that signaled Kelly's return. She didn't have to wait long as the Texan slipped back into the room, a lopsided smile on her face.



"You ok?" Carrie asked, propping herself up on her elbows.



Kelly just nodded silently, holding one hand behind her back, and motioning for Carrie to lay back down with the other.



"Close your eyes," Kelly said, sounding as if she had marbles in her mouth.



Carrie looked at her questioningly, but did as she was told, closing her eyes. Kelly walked over to the side of the bed, placing the object she was holding behind her back onto the bedside table. Her gaze then fell on Carrie, and she took in a sharp breath, realizing for the first time that Carrie was laying there in just jeans and a bra. A very revealing, black, lace bra. Kelly could feel her face get red, but reminded herself that Carrie's eyes were closed, so she could check her out all she wanted.



"Like what you see?" Carrie asked with a smile.



Kelly nearly choked, "Eyes closed."



"Yes ma'am."



Kelly frowned as she swallowed the water filling her mouth. She took the object from the table, and brought it to her mouth, smiling as she placed it back down and climbed back onto the bed, straddling Carrie once more. She was even more beautiful now that Kelly could fully take her in. She placed her hands on Carrie's stomach, slowly sliding them to her sides, memorizing the soft skin beneath her fingertips. She could feel Carrie's muscles jumping slightly under her touch. That's when she saw it--a small red whelp just below Carrie's left collar bone.



Kelly smiled, seeing her target. She lowered herself, trying to keep her breath steady as she pressed herself against the body beneath her. Carrie's hands found their way to Kelly's side, helping to support her as her own head started to spin at the feeling of Kelly against her bare skin. Kelly gently pressed her lips against Carrie's collar bone, delicately kissing her way to the spot. She could feel Carrie squirm beneath her in delight, and she struggled not to smile against the soft skin. She hit the red mark, hearing Carrie hiss slightly.



Carrie felt Kelly press her lips against it once more, and she bit her lip. She could feel Kelly's lips slowly parting, and she was finding it suddenly extremely hot in the room. That all changed however when she felt something ice cold pressed against her skin.



Carrie's nails dug into Kelly's back, causing her to arch into the girl beneath her, but continue with her ministrations. She kept the piece of ice between her lips, slowly gliding it across the small wound, Carrie's nails digging into her even more.



Carrie's breath was growing more and more ragged as the contrast of the cold hard ice between Kelly's warm soft lips pressed against her own hot glistening skin caused her pulse to race.



Kelly's lips slowly slid down, following the slope of Carrie's body. As she slowly rose with it, she felt Carrie's hands slid down to her hips. Despite the cold of the ice in her mouth, Kelly felt a warmness start to spread throughout her as she traced the ice along the edge of Carrie's bra. Carrie pulled on Kelly's hips, forcing them against her own as she felt the water trickling across her chest and slowly down her stomach.

The piece of ice had completely melted, but Kelly kept kissing her way across what had to be the softest thing she had ever come into contact with. With every kiss, she craved another, wanting nothing more than to kiss every inch of the beautiful body beneath her.



Carrie bit down on her lip, hard, to keep from crying out as she felt Kelly's tongue dart underneath the thin material of her bra. She pulled down on Kelly forcefully, growing agitated at the space between them. Kelly tried not to wince as their hips collided, knowing that that was going to leave a bruise. She could feel Carrie trying to flip them over, but she put a firm hand on the mattress, keeping them in their current position. She pushed herself up, smiling down at Carrie.



"I'm not done yet," Kelly informed her, taking the cup of ice from the bedside table, and allowing another piece to slide in her mouth. She smirked at Carrie who practically growled back in frustration, as she lowered herself once more, this time so that she was hovering above Carrie's torso.



Carrie immediately arched into the icy hot kiss, but Kelly grabbed her hips, pushing them back down. She slowly slid the ice across Carrie's stomach from one mark to another. She could feel the muscles tensing beneath her as she dragged the ice downward, tracing tantalizing circles around her navel. Kelly heard a deep moan, escaping Carrie's lips as she slid the ice along top the waistband of her jeans, and she heard something that sounded an awful like "tease" being thrown at her. She smiled, bringing herself up Carrie's body, back to the initial point at hand of trying to soothe the poor girl beneath her.



Carrie's toes curled as the girl on top of her continued her torturous form of treatment. She had to use every ounce of strength she had to not let herself go over the edge and do something she would regret. She didn't want to--



"Oh God," she breathed, losing all train of thought as all the blood rushed away from the upper half of her body when she felt what she was sure was Kelly's tongue against her skin.



Kelly wasn't sure exactly when the piece of ice had completely melted--her brain couldn't even form a coherent sentence at that time, let alone worry about something as trivial as ice--all she knew was that she was now kissing her way down Carrie's stomach, slowly, enjoying every kiss and every touch, trying to imprint it all into her brain. The feeling of her cold, slightly numb lips against Carrie's warm skin made her own skin tingle. She followed the path from Carrie's hip across her waistband.



Carrie tried to push into the touch, aching for some sort of relief, but Kelly was still firmly holding her in place. So, she removed a hand from clenching the sheets beneath her, and brought it to Kelly's hair, running her fingers through it, before pushing her closer.



Kelly heard a sudden intake of breath as she nipped at the smooth skin before placing a gentle kiss over it. Carrie's sudden touch, brought her flying back to reality, and she was suddenly very aware of her current position and how Carrie's legs had somehow found their way around her waist. She jolted upright, almost as if waking from a dream.



Carrie's eyes darted around the room nervously, confused by the sudden lack of contact, searching for the reason, but still unable to actually focus.



"You ok?" she asked, looking up at Kelly.



"Yea," she squeaked, her voice rising nervously.



Carrie frowned deeply, closing her eyes.



"I'm s-" Kelly began, but was cut off as Carrie held up a finger.



"Just give me a sec," she replied, her eyes still closed as she felt the blood returning to her brain and her breathing even out. She took a deep steadying breath before opening her eyes again. "What happened?" she asked carefully.



Kelly could only shrug, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks.



"I mean, do you not want to?" Carrie asked, the hurt evident in her voice.



"Yes, I mean, no, I mean yes I want to, or no I don't not want to. Of course I want to," Kelly assured her. "I just, I don't know..."



Carrie sighed, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "Come here," she said, pulling Kelly closer. "Now, what's wrong?"



Kelly just avoided her gaze.



"Are you nervous?" Carrie asked gently.



"I don't know...maybe."



"About what?"



Kelly was sure she was blushing this time, desperately trying to look anywhere but at the girl in front of her. Carrie smiled at her adorableness and brought a caring hand to her cheek, guiding her gaze back, looking her in the eye.



"I promise I'm not gonna hurt you," she told her. "I'm not gonna leave you, and I'm not gonna break your heart."



"I know," Kelly replied, although she found herself relaxing at her girlfriend's reassurances.



"Then what is it?" she asked gently.



Kelly bit her lip nervously.



"Come on Kell, you can tell me anything."



"I just...I mean...what if I'm bad at it?" she asked worriedly.



Carrie felt her heart melt at the confession, "Hun-"



"No, I mean, I don't want you to think that I...and I don't want to lose you--"



"Kell," Carrie laughed softly, cutting into her rambling. The girl looked up at her, completely wide-eyed and innocent. "I'm pretty sure it's impossible for you to be bad at it."



"But how do you know?"



"Because just one touch from those soft hands of yours, or one kiss from those skillful lips is enough to send me so far over the edge that it isn't funny," Carrie answered honestly.



Kelly's gaze fell once more.



"It's obvious you're not ready yet."



"No, I am," she responded swiftly.



"No, you're not," Carrie replied. "But that's ok."



"No, it's not," Kelly sighed. "Because I know you are."



"So?" Carrie laughed. "It's no big deal. I've gotten used to the cold showers by now."



A sudden sadness filled Kelly's eyes.



"No, no, no," Carrie said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that."



"It's ok," Kelly smiled weakly, pushing away from her. "I get it."



"No, Kell, that's not what I meant," Carrie replied, pulling her back. "I swear, that's not what I meant. I'm fine waiting. I already told you I'd wait for you."



"But you shouldn't have to," Kelly said, surprised at the tears that were now falling.



"Sweetie, it's ok," Carrie assured her, wiping away her tears. "It's just sex. It's no big deal."



"Of course it's a big deal, Care. It's a huge deal," Kelly said, trying not to fall into the side of hysterics.



Carrie winced, realizing that the more she talked, the more she kept putting her foot further and further into her mouth.



"Maybe," Kelly said, her voice soft. "This isn't such a good idea."



Carrie's eyes shot open, "What? What do you mean?"



"I mean, you deserve everything. You deserve someone that can give you everything you want, and I can't give you that, and it isn't fair to you."



Carrie felt a panic settle over her, "How can you say that?"



Kelly could barely shrug as more tears began to fall.



"No, you listen to me," Carrie said, her voice firm yet somehow still very gentle. "I don't deserve everything. I don't deserve anything, and I sure as hell don't deserve you. But," she said a little firmer as Kelly opened her mouth to argue, "but if you've got it in that crazy little mind of yours that I do deserve everything I want, then fine. I want you. All I want is you--this insanely adorable, loving, sexy, beautiful, talented girl sitting right here before me, and I want everything that comes with you. I want the doubts and the nerves and the walls and the fear."



"But why?" Kelly questioned. "Why would you want that?"



Carrie smiled softly as she pushed a stray curl out of Kelly's eyes, "Because I love you. I love every part of you. And with each new doubt and nerve and fear, I get to see a different side of you, and that's only more for me to love. And with each wall you allow me to break through, it's like I'm falling in love all over again."



"But--"



"And I now this sounds crazy, but the fact that you want to wait, only makes me love you more."



"But--"



"Kell, no more buts, alright? My decision is final. You're stuck with me."



Kelly couldn't help but smile, allowing Carrie to envelope her into a hug. She settled onto the country singer's lap, wrapping her arms around her, resting her head against her bare shoulder.



"You are so beautiful," Kelly confided softly.



Carrie was taken back by the honesty in her voice and kissed her forehead, "Not that I don't appreciate it, but random much?"



Kelly laughed softly, tilting her head back so she could look up at her, "No, it's just when I first walked in and saw you, I was just so, I don't know, blown away by you just laying there that I seemed to have lost my ability to think let alone speak, and I just wanted to let you know, that you are so beautiful."



Carrie smiled down at her, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss, "And you're the one that doesn't deserve me?"



Kelly just smiled cutely.



"You wanna know a secret?" Carrie asked, laughing as Kelly's eyes lit up.



"Yea," she replied. "But I don't know. I'm not the best person with secrets. I mean, look how I blurted out everything to my mom about us. Oh God, what if I do that in an interview or something? Care--"



Carrie cut her off with another kiss, "Way to kill the mood with the rambling," she teased.



"Sorry," Kelly replied softly.



"Don't be, you know I love it when you ramble. So," she smiled. "Back to the secret?"



"Yea," Kelly nodded, her eyes lighting up again in anticipation.



"Well, I have to be honest with you," Carrie said, dropping her voice down.



Kelly nodded again, listening intently. Carrie tried not to laugh as she watched her.



"Come here," Carrie said quietly.



Kelly leaned in closer.



Carrie closed the distance, bringing her mouth next to Kelly's ear, whispering, "I'm nervous too."



"Really?" Kelly asked softly, pulling back enough to look her in the eye.



Carrie nodded, "Yea."



Kelly smiled, kissing her firmly, "You are so amazing," she whispered, resting her forehead against Carrie's.



"So are you," Carrie replied smiling back.



"I know," she laughed, sitting up. "I mean, I really can't blame you for falling in love with my amazingness. Seriously, lesser a person would have fallen a long time ago."



"Ok, smart ass."



"You love it."



"Yes," Carrie nodded with a cheeky grin. "I definitely love every part of your ass."