Slow Motion

Updated a week early because I had it done and wanted to share it. So enjoy and feedback is loved and appreciated.



Brendon hear's the loud air shattering snap late into the night. Maybe if he wasn't so used to the sound it wouldn't have woke him up. It's the same sound he heard that night, the same sound that play's in his head when he think's about the day Brent died. It's a gunshot.



It sound's close to the house and Brendon's first thought is that Travis or someone figured out what happened and they're taking their revenge by performing a drive by on Brendon's house. The boy sat up in bed, sweating hard and he looked over at Nate who didn't seem to be at all disturbed by the noise. Brendon eases himself out of bed and move's silently down the hall, making sure everything in the house is alright.



It's dark in the living room but the light from the kitchen keep's it lit enough for Brendon to see. The boy moves behind the couch, toward's the window when a light voice make's him jump. "Brendon? Is that you?" It's Spencer and Brendon can see him sitting up and peering at him from the couch.



"Yeah, Spence, did you hear that too?" Brendon question's and he see's Spencer nod.



"It sounded like it came from outside." Spencer tell's him and it's Brendon's turn to nod.



"I was just about to check." Brendon replies, Spencer crawls over what look's to be Ryan and Brendon will have to remember to ask about that later. Spencer follows Brendon to the door, the older of the two pulling it open and peering outside. This might not be the smartest move but Brendon move's out on the small cement porch, followed by Spencer.



There's nothing to be found outside, no car's, no people, nothing. Maybe the gun shot was from somewhere else and just echoed around here. "I wonder where it came from." Spencer breaths out quietly. "It sounded so close." He add's. Brendon nod's.



"I know..it sounded like it came from right next door." The older boy states. He's not thinking about the word's and they hang heavy in the air when suddenly Spencer gasps and Brendon look's back at him alarmed. Spencer is looking at him with big wide blue eyes. "What's wrong Spence?" He asks.



"Jon...Jon's house." Spencer states and he's off the porch and running across the damp yard before Brendon can get a hand on him. He too hop's off the porch and he's chasing after the younger boy. The gun shot did sound close but come on, it seems too unlikely that it came from Jon's house and if Spencer is wrong and Jon see's them together..there's sure to be hell to pay.



Brendon catches up with Spencer when he's on Jon's porch, his hand tight on the boy's shoulder. "What are you doing Spence?" He rushes out in a hushed tone. Spencer ignores him and his hand is on the doorknob, turning and finding it unlocked. "If Jon see's us together, we're fucked!" Brendon tries to convince the younger boy but Spencer pushes the door open and just as quick slips inside.



"Jon? Jon?" He call's out apparently uncaring if either of them get caught. The front room's of the house are pitch dark and Brendon trip's over garbage as he tries to catch up with Spencer. The house isn't all dark though, the barest hint of buttery light is pouring out onto the long wooden hallway, persumably coming from the bedroom door.



"Spencer...I think we should get out of here!" Brendon whispers as he keep's his eyes peeled for the lumbering mass of anger that is Jon Walker. Again Spencer blows him off and continues down the narrow hallway, heading toward's the light. Brendon know's this whole thing is a bad idea, that Jon is sleeping and when he wake's up Brendon and Spencer are going to be nothing but broken piles.



Spencer get's to the his old bedroom door and pull's it open. "Jon?" He tries softly and Spencer stand's there at the end of the hall, bathed in golden light and he scream's. It's the kind of scream you hear in horror movies or in drama's, those truly heart wrenching scream's that make your soul ache.



Spencer screams and rushes into the room and Brendon follows.



What he find's there is something he never expected. Jon's on the bed, laying back, eyes closed and a black framed photo slack in one hand and a gun in the other, a bullet wound marring his head.



Spencer too is on the bed, bent over Jon and still screaming. He's crying, his icy blue eyes filled with anguish. His hand's are on his ex-boyfriend, on his face tilting it and talking to him. "Jon? Jon? No, no, please...Jon please." Spencer shakes him but the older boy is limp, is already dead.



Brendon stand's there with his heart dropped to his feet. He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't feel like he belong's here, he shouldn't be seeing this moment. Spencer's dropped down, his head on Jon's shoulder, red blood staining the grey sheet's and white pillows. It's a random thing to notice but it's then that Brendon notices that Jon is still wearing the same thing he had earlier that day, before Brendon had called Tyga.



Brendon also recalls the word's that Jon had said. How he had claimed that he knew Spencer would never come back to him, that he wasn't someone worth coming back to. How Brendon had said to see him later and all Jon had done was say goodbye. Maybe Brendon should've seen this coming.



"Why did you do this Jon? You...you could've gotten better, we...we could've been together again." Spencer's hand's are on Jon's cheek's, their faces pressed close together.



"Spencer..." Brendon starts but he stops just as quickly, he doesn't know what to say, what he can say. Spencer pull's up and away from Jon. He's kneeling on the bed and his eyes are trained to the photo in Jon's hand. Spencer take's it and studies it for a brief moment. Brendon doesn't know what it is, but he's guessing that it's one of Spencer. The younger boy pull's a face and throws the frame against the wall, the frame hitting and promptly shattering, the frame sliding down the wall and turning face up to Brendon.



He was right, the photo was one of Spencer and Jon together. They look like their on the beach or something, Jon's arm's wrapped around Spencer and his face pressed into Spencer's neck, while the younger boy was smiling and actually looking at the camera.



"I didn't think...I didn't think he would do this!" Spencer cries out and now he's looking at Brendon, staring at him with frantic eyes. Brendon know's that no matter what the boy said and no matter how glad he was to get away from Jon, it's more than obvious that Spencer still loved him. Spencer was still in love with Jon. That he still had faith that the two of them would get back together someday.



"Spencer...before I left with William last night..I ran into Jon and he told me that he knew you'd never come back to him, that he wasn't something worth coming back to." Brendon spill's the word's and he feel's like he can't catch his breath. He's constantly wondering why death decides to slide so close to him, to make's it's home right beside him, Brendon and death meeting on an all too frequent basis.



Spencer look's up at Brendon, tear stained blue eyes. "What?" Brendon think's that maybe Spencer isn't really contemplating anything, can only focus on the Jon's body laid out before them. Brendon repeat's what he said, quieter, Spencer probably straining to hear, but Brendon know's that he does hear. The younger boy blink's away the fresh tear's forming in his eyes.



"So, it's my fault..." He says just as quietly, body bowed forward and his eyes on Jon's limp hand. Brendon feel's his heart clench.



"No, that's not what I meant." He doesn't want Spencer to think that, even if the boy isn't implying that Brendon is placing the blame squarely on Spencer. The younger boy sniffs and take's Jon's hand in both of his, bringing it up and resting it against his chest.



"I shouldn't have left...I shouldn't have left him and this wouldn't have happened..." Spencer's tear's slip down his rounded cheek's, the tear's slipping down on to Jon's quickly paling skin.



"Spence, Jon was in a bad way...he was fucked up." Brendon's trying to reason, to make Spencer see that it's not his fault that Jon killed himself. Spencer shakes his head.



"No, he wasn't when I met him..he was happy and he had a good life." The boy croak's out, his voice is breaking and his eyes are anywhere but on Brendon and Jon. "I ruined his life. I made him miserable, it was all my fault...it should be me..." Spencer's voice is growing more and more hysteric and it's killing Brendon to hear Spencer talk like this, to hear him wish that he were dead instead of his boyfriend.



"Spencer, I think we should call someone...police or something..." Brendon suggest's, the cop's are really the last people he want to see tonight, they shouldn't even really be here. How can they explain why they're here? Why Spencer was staying with Brendon, fuck, cop's also seemed to be a permanent fixture in his life.



Spencer whip's his head up, eye's burning into Brendon's. "Tell me it's all a dream Brendon..." He says and Brendon take's another step forward. "Please, tell me it's all a dream..that I'm sleeping and when I wake up I'll still be in high school and he'll still be with me." Spencer is pleading with Brendon, like the older boy can actually make it all happen, like he can take it all away and allow the younger boy to do it all again.



"Spencer..." Brendon starts but the boy shakes his head, drop's down next to Jon, laying in Jon's blood, his face pressed against the dead boy's neck. He's shaking desperate eyes closed and he's crying again and pleading.



"Please, give me him back...please...someone tell me this isn't happening." His voice is rising steadily with each step Brendon takes. "Jon, please! Wake up...please, don't leave me all alone..." Spencer's hand's clench in the fabric of Jon's longsleeved shirt. "You promised!" He's yelling now, pouring out everything he's ever wanted to say to his boyfriend, every word he wishes he could still say.



"You promised you'd love me no matter what! You promised we'd be together forever! So, how? How can you leave me Jon?" Spencer's cries are filled with anguish, his finger's tangled in Jon's shirt, begging anwsers from the boy, anwsers Jon can never give.



Brendon reaches out for Spencer, hand sliding on the younger boy's shoulder. Spencer doesn't shrug him off, doesn't look at him or say anything at all. "Come on Spencer. Let's go home." Brendon insists, hand wrapping around the younger boy's arm, pulling at him lightly.



"This is my home...this is where I belong. With him." Spencer chokes out soft and he's still clutching Jon. Brendon shakes his head despite the fact that Spencer isn't looking at him.



"You belong with me..and with Ryan. That's your home." Brendon insist's and he tug's just a little bit firmer. Spencer's hands slack in the material of Jon's shirt but he doesn't get up, he's still crying but Brendon really can't blame him. Jon was more or less the love of Spencer's life despite all his flaw's and now, now that was all gone from the boy. Jon was gone.



Brendon pull's again and this time, this time Spencer lift's up a bit. He doesn't get off the bed, leaning over Jon instead. Brendon can see the dark crimson of Jon's blood staining Spencer's shoulder's. Spencer lean's in close to Jon's face, so close that normally their breaths would be mingling together.



"Jon, you hurt me so much. I loved you and you hurt me. And...and it pisses me off that I'll never get to hear you apologize for that. I don't understand your motives, your thought's and now I never will. I just wanted to be with you, I just wanted to be your everything, all that mattered but I never was. Jon, god, I wish I was. I wish you didn't do this...I wish we had more time." Spencer run's his hand along Jon's cheek.



"God, your still warm.." He tear's up but continues. "I wish I would've said this before...I wish we could've worked this out. I wish a lot of fucking things...but...but mostly I just wish that you loved me like you used to. You were horrible to me in the end but I still loved you." He removes his hand.



"I still do." Spencer finishes and he lean's in, crying silent tear's and he kisses Jon's still warm lip's. He linger's there for a few beat's before he's turning, facing Brendon but not looking at him and slipping off the bed. As soon as Spencer's feet hit the floor he's clinging to Brendon, burrying his face in the older boy's neck. He's crying once again.



All Brendon can do is hold him close, sooth him, it's all he can do. He walk's them backward's before Spencer pull's away, head bowed, he's going out of the room with no final glance. Brendon's sure that this isn't the way Spencer want's to remember Jon, that the boy want's to remember him from when they first met, maybe from that photo at the beach.



Brendon does look back at Jon's corpse though and he can't help but think that Jon finally look's at peace.