The Beautiful Ones

After the show, they hurried up to Criss’s room. He pointed to the bathroom, letting her know that she could go and get herself washed up first. Cassandra gathered a pair of pajamas and hurried in, not making eye contact with him.

She stood under the shower, wanting the water to wash everything away from her. Wash away Michael, wash away all the things she’d said, wash away the look in Criss’s eye when he came into the bathroom.

Cassandra shook her head as she poured a palmful of shampoo and began to vigorously scrub her scalp with her finger nails. She ignored the stinging sensation it left behind. All she wanted to do was forget that Criss was out there waiting for her, and sooner or later she was going to have to talk to him.

She took her time brushing her teeth and drying off and combing out her hair. She knew it was avoiding it, but who really wanted to face something like this? Finally, she was ready to face the music.

Cassandra stepped out into the living room.

**

Criss handed her another cup of peppermint tea. She perched on the edge of the couch, holding the mug in her palms, letting the warmth seep into her skin. Criss sat down in his chair.

“So you want to tell me what that was all about?” he was dressed in a pair of boxers. Cassandra peered down at her drink as though trying to find an answer at the bottom of it.

“Michael’s my ex-fiancée.”

“You were engaged to him. You’re almost nineteen, and you were engaged.” He paused. “Was this one of those high school things where he buys you a Wal-Mart ring and you say that you’re engaged and then break up after prom?”

“No. I wish,” Cassandra sat her cup on the table and rested her palms on her thighs. “He proposed to me the night we graduated. With his grandmother’s ring. And I didn’t want to, because I didn’t see a life with him, but I said yes.”

“Really?” his eyes went wide. “Why did you do that?”

“Because, I don’t know, Criss! I’d been dating him since I was twelve and I couldn’t think of a reason to say no without looking like the world’s worst person.” Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them back viciously.

“And coming here without him knowing really cleared that up, didn’t it?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I know I’ve made some mistakes, and I know that was a big one. But Criss, you heard the way he was talking to me. I didn’t want to live that way my whole life! I’ve seen his mother, and I’ve seen the other women where I’m from. And I’d rather die than be like any of them.” Her hands began to shake. Criss frowned and opened up his arms.

Cassandra hurried across the room and fell against him. She buried her face in his neck as he cradled the back of her head and rubbed her back. They stood tightly against one another for a few minutes.

“When were you going to tell me that you were engaged?”

“I wasn’t. Oh, Criss, it all just sounded so foolish, and I never thought that I would see Michael again. Please try and understand I’ve made so many mistakes, and I’m so sorry.”

Criss said nothing as he buried his face in her hair.