Slow Motion

Author's Note: So, I'm really very sorry about the horribly long wait for the next chapter of this story. Rest assured I have not abandoned it and I fully intend to finish it. My internet had been shut off and I only got it back on today but because I love my reader's, I humbly offer you two new chapter's and I hope you enjoy and have a lovely thanksgiving





chapter thirty five: Accepting Calls From Strangers



Brendon was the one who ended up calling the police. Only after he had taken Spencer back to the house, the boy collasping on the end of the couch that Ryan's small form wasn't currently occupying. Nate had awoken from the sounds of them returning, from Spencer's broken sobs and sniffles.



He padded out softly and peered at the two now awake boys. "Why are we all awake?" He asks, voice weak and his eyes bleary, hair rumpled from sex and sleep. Spencer isn't anwsering, isn't even looking at Nate, he's just sitting there blank and silent, blue eyes rimmed red.



Brendon moves forward and places his hand on his shorter boyfriend's shoulder, leading him into the kitchen, away from Spencer. He explains to Nate what happened, what the two of them saw at Jon's place. Nate look's shocked and then his face softens, shows pain for Spencer and he's leaning against Brendon, whispering. "Is there anything I can do?"



"Just watch him for me." Brendon whispers back before he places a quick kiss on Nate's temple, heading away to grab his cell phone.



The ambulance and police showed up almost twenty minutes later. Brendon was outside talking to them, standing on his front lawn in boxers and a t-shirt. He didn't know why he was expecting Ryland to show up here, he didn't of course but Brendon was half expecting him to. Instead it was a small group of cop's and an ambulance, it's blue and red lights flashing in the early hours of the twilight.



They bring Spencer out too since his name was on the lease to the house or something like that. A police officer is talking to him, Spencer once again small and wrapped around himself. Brendon feel's like any and all progress that the boy had made is now gone, reverted back to the boy he had been when Brendon first met him.



Ryan is awake now too but Nate's keeping him busy in the house so he won't run out and bother them.



Brendon tells the cops the little information that he actually knows, how long he's known Spencer and Jon, why the younger boy was staying with him, when they found Jon's body and if they had moved anything. He doesn't actually seem to help all that much but the cop still claps him on the shoulder and thanks him for his cooperation.



They wheel out Jon's body at five in the morning. Spencer watches as they put him in the back of the ambulance, intent on taking him to the morgue or whever they take bodies. Spencer comes over to Brendon and the older boy wraps his arms around Spencer, holding him close. They ask Spencer about the house, about what he wants to do with it and about people in Jon's family they can contact, funeral arrangments. Brendon doesn't think Spencer can handle this right now but the younger boy tell's them about Jon's parents, rattles off their phone number and tells him to tell them to make the funeral arrangments.



The police don't leave till six-thirty in the morning but they're done with Brendon and Spencer around five-fifteen. Brendon leads Spencer inside, tell's him not to worry because the cops will take care of everything. That Spencer doesn't have to think about things tonight, all he has to do is go to sleep.



Spencer does fall asleep twenty minutes later, Ryan too but back in his own room instead of on the couch. Nate takes Brendon's hand and lead's him back to the bedroom, whispers that Spencer will be okay for the night. Nate fall's asleep quickly, his body wrapped around Brendon but sleep won't come to Brendon. He's awake, laying in the semi-darkness and trying not to picture Jon.



Spencer wakes up late in the afternoon, he's awake but he's not getting up, laying facing the beaten up couch and trying so hard not to think about Jon. It doesn't matter how long he tries not to think about it, the memories of last night haunt his mind constantly, replaying again and again like a hellish movie. He feel's so numb, like none of it is real but he knows all of it is. The horrible pain that Jon is never coming back, that the two of them are never going to be together again. It's enough to make fresh tears come to Spencer's eyes.



They boy is so wrapped up in his thoughts, in his pain and misery that he doesn't hear the soft footsteps or see Ryan standing at the end of the couch, peering at him. Spencer makes a choking sobbing noise that Ryan must take as a sign that he's awake because he's leaning over Spencer, his innocent face upside down and looking down at Spencer.



"Spencer awake?" He asks, his voice soft and curious. Spencer turns just a bit, not feeling up to even pretending to be happy for Ryan's sake. He's looking up at Ryan's smiling face and warm childlike eyes.



"Yeah, Ry. I'm awake." The younger of the two boys replies as he sits up, Ryan backing away so they don't whack their foreheads. Spencer's body hurts, everything on him hurts, a deep aching pain that won't go away, ripping it's way through Spencer's body and settling itself in the boy's chest.



Spencer finds it so damn ironic that even in the final act of his life, Jon could manage to hurt him so deep. Maybe that's why he did it, because he knew how badly it would hurt Spencer. Ryan moves and sits on the opposite end of the couch folding his long legs up to match Spencer.



Ryan is just watching him, brown eyes deep and searching and Spencer isn't looking away.



"Spencer sad?" Ryan questions, long thin fingers playing with the ends of his brown bangs. Spencer almost wants to laugh, he's so far beyond sad that he's sure that there need's to be a new word to describe what he's feeling. Spencer just nods though, tries to keep it all simple for Ryan.



"Yeah, Spencer sad."



"Why?" Ryan asks again, his stutter all but gone. This one is harder to explain, he doesn't know what to say. How to explain death to someone like Ryan. He thinks that maybe he should just go and get Brendon, let him handle this but he doesn't really want to do that to the older boy, not after the way Brendon handled last night so well.



"Someone...someone that Spencer loved very much died last night." Spencer finally settles on that, hoping that at least Ryan can comprehend the concept of death. Ryan's soft face pull's into a frown and he wrinkles his forehead before looking at Spencer.



"Died?" He asks and Spencer just nods.



"Yeah, like went to heaven." He explains and Ryan's eyes lighten a bit, like he finally gets what Spencer is telling him.



"Who?" Ryan starts and Spencer wonders if the boy has always been this curious or if this is a new development. Spencer doesn't say anything so Ryan takes that as a sign to continue talking. "Who went to heaven Spencer?" He asks again, voice small and wondering.



Spencer sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn't want to do this, doesn't want to have this conversation. At the same time he knows that Ryan deserves an anwser to his question.



"My friend...my friend Jon." It nearly kill's Spencer to say his name to think about it all over again. Every memory and moment fresh in his mind and he can feel that aching pain in his chest start it's havoc all over again. Ryan look's like he's thinking, maybe wondering if he knows anyone named Jon. He doesn't, Spencer doesn't think Ryan ever met Jon when he was normal.



Ryan gets up off the couch suddenly, padding across the hardwood floor and moving to his room, the door open. Spencer doesn't question him, just let's him do what he want's. Ryan returns moments later, a beaten up looking picture book clasped tightly in his hands. He doesn't go back to the couch, instead he sinks to his knees on the floor beside Spencer, sitting back on his heel's and eyeing the younger boy with those big brown eyes.



He holds the book up and open, two pages revealing a scene for Spencer. It's obviously a child's book, something that Brendon probably had or picked up for Ryan. The picture is that of a depiction of heaven. All white clouds and chubby little angel's with long white wings and golden horns.



"See Spencer." Ryan asks, his nimble fingers tapping against the page. "See heaven?" He asks and Spencer nod's not quite following Ryan's train of thought, maybe he's just trying to make the boy feel better. "Angels, Spencer." Ryan points one out, a blonde one that look's like it's laughing. "See, like Jon." He add's and Spencer's heart clenches tight in his chest.



Ryan is trying to make Spencer feel better, trying to show him that Jon is an angel, like the ones in his book. Spencer smiles sadly thankful that Ryan can't tell the difference. "That's nice Ry." Spencer tell's him, hands slipping to Ryan's arms and tugging on the older boy, pulling him up and in for a hug. 'Thank you." He add's hands patting Ryan's back.



Ryan slips away and is grinning and Spencer stand's perpairs to make breakfast. He really, really wishes that he could be as naiive as Ryan, he wishes that he could believe that Jon was actually an angel.



Brendon wakes up after everyone else has. Nate gone from the bed and the smells of food wafting through the house. He doesn't feel any better now then he did when he went to sleep last night. He wanders out of bed heading into the living room to check on Spencer, he's only half surprised to find the younger boy in the kitchen.



Nate and Ryan are at the table. Ryan flipping through a book and pointing things out to Nate, who is paying a reasonable amount of attention to the boy. Spencer turns and see's Brendon standing on the outskirts of the kitchen, bleary eyed and rumpled.



"You didn't have to cook breakfast." Brendon says as a good morning, going and getting himself coffee.



"It takes my mind off things." Spencer replies flipping what look's to be pancakes. Brendon can't argue with that, whatever Spencer need's to do it's fine with him.



Brendon is three quaters into the way of eating his second pancake when his cell phone starts to go off. He's been carrying it on him all day because he gave his number to the cops incase they wanted to contact Spencer. He anwsers it with the younger boy watching him, Nate too but he look's more worried than anything else. On the phone is a man's voice, one that sounds slightly familar but at the same time Brendon's sure he's never heard it and the number is just as unfamilar.



"I'm..I'm looking for Spencer Smith...is this him?" The man asks, Brendon shakes his head despite the fact that the person on the phone cannot see him.



"No, I'm Brendon...but um, hang on and I'll get him for you." Brendon tells the man who makes a noise of slight annoyance and agreement. Brendon pulls the phone away and hands it out for Spencer whose been watching him since he anwsered the phone. "It's for you." He says, Spencer mouths the word 'Who?' Brendon shrugs, he knows he's being unhelpful but Spencer takes the phone anyway.



Brendon can only hear one side of the conversation but it doesn't matter because it's not any of his business anyway. Nate is watching the boy too and Ryan is alternating his gaze between Spencer and the book he has propped open on the table. Spencer is looking worried, leaning against the kitchen counter, his one hand resting on the counter.



"Is this Spencer Smith?" The man asks.



"Um, yeah, it is." Spencer says, phone pressed tight to his ear.



"This is Mr.Walker, Spencer." The man says before his eyes widen drastically.



"I-I..how'd you get this number?" He asks.



"The police gave it to me Mr.Smith." Spencer notices that Jon's fathers voice is tight like he'd rather not talk to him at all. "But I would like to know if you were with Jonathan when it happened?" His father asks.



"I...no, I wasn't with him." He says quietly. Spencer is worried that Jon's father is planning on trying to blame Jon's death on Spencer, as if it were Spencer that had murdered him. He open's his mouth to say something but he doesn't get the chance because Jon's dad speaks first.



"Listen Spencer, we want you to handle Jonathan's funeral." He states and it's too calm, too damn calm for a man who just lost his son.



"What? Mr.Walker..no, no, I don't want to do it. I told the police that you can handle all that stuff." Spencer tries to stop Mr.Walker but Jon's dad pushes on.



"We don't want to be a part of it. Jonathan went down a dark path and we lost him. He wasn't our son, we want nothing to do with his funeral." Jon's dad says firmly and Spencer cannot believe it.



Nate look's at Brendon with worried brown eyes. Brendon is beginning to worry too. Spencer is quiet for a few moments before his face fall's, his eyes showing outrage.



"He-He was your son! He loved you all so much and you turned your back on him! It's your fault that this happened to him! Losing your support was what made him so miserable! Do you even have any idea what he resorted to?" Spencer yells into the phone. Jon's dad makes a noise but doesn't say anything.



"He beat me! Jon beat the shit out of me on a daily basis because of you! He would've been okay if you could've just accepted him! He'd still be here and he'd be okay! You...your family are monsters! And I honestly can't believe someone as amazing as Jon was had even come from your family!" Spencer is breaking down into tears, screaming and Ryan is looking at him with big scared brown eyes. Brendon and Nate watching too.



"We don't want anything to do with his funeral. He is not our son anymore, this is your problem now Mr.Smith, Not our's, not anymore." Jon's dad says firm and with an air of finality before he hangs up on Spencer. The boy can't believe this, cannot believe the way Jon's family is acting, they don't even want to say goodbye, don't want to see him one last time?



With shaking hands Spencer hangs up the phone and it takes everything the boy has to not throw the phone across the room. He probably would if it weren't Brendon's cell phone. He set's the cell down on the counter and strides back through the kitchen, eyes watering. He ignores Brendon and Nate and even Ryan, choosing instead to move into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.



Spencer allows himself a glance in the mirror, his eyes are red rimmed and his soft face is pulled down into an exaggerated frown. The boy leans against the bathroom door and sinks down slowly, slow until he lands on the floor, knees to his chest, and head cradled in his arms.



He can't believe this is happening to him, it's so unfair and he can't even begin to believe what Jon's father told him. Jon loved his family so much and he was heartbroken when they abandoned him. They were what made Jon bad, attributed to him losing himself and falling into the broken man he was at the end and now..now they want to pretend that Jon never existed? Turn him into a family secret, it was infuriating.



What's worse is that Spencer was prepaired to let go, to let Jon's family take his body, take everything and Spencer could at least start to move on, to start all over again. But now it all falls on Spencer, he;s the one who has to plan the funeral, burry Jon in the ground and he can't, he can't do it but he knows that he has to because no one else will.