Playing With Fire

+++++++



Kelly brought her bags down to add to the pile that had already formed of everybody's luggage in the living room. Most of them were finished and were just sitting around, waiting for the time to leave. Carrie hung up her phone, a mix of anger and sadness in her eyes.



"Everything ok?" Kelly asked, placing her bags down.



"I just got a call from my new manager. My flight's been pushed up."



"Well, when do you need to leave?"



"In like five minutes," Carrie replied.



"But, that's not fair," Kelly said, her voice low. "You were supposed to come with me to the airport. We were supposed to get to say goodbye."



"I know, and you know that I wish I could."



"But, I'm not ready for you to go," Kelly whispered, fighting back the tears.



Carrie could feel her heart breaking, "Come see," she said, taking her hand, and leading her into a spare room down the hall. As soon as Kelly closed the door behind them, Carrie's lips were crashing down on hers, backing her into the wall. Kelly immediately began to kiss her back, tugging on her hips to pull her closer.



"Ok, we're not gonna do this," Carrie said as they broke apart, her eyes watering as she ran her hands through Kelly's hair, resting them on the back of her neck. "We're not gonna cry."



Kelly shook her head in agreement, but the tears running down her cheek told a different story. Carrie rested her forehead against the shorter Texan's, closing her eyes tight. Her hands slid up, cradling the beautiful face before her, the smell of vanilla surrounding her, making her ache for the girl already. Kelly wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, both shaking slightly as they fought back the tears. All she knew was that no amount of time would have ever been enough.



"Carrie?" a voice asked as there was a knock on the door.



"One sec," she called back, both still refusing to move.



"Ok, just wanted to let you know that you're cab's here."



She heard Kelly let out the slightest whimper, and she tilted her head, grazing her lips against Kelly's.



"Come with me," Kelly whispered too softly for Carrie to hear.



"What?"



"Come with me," she repeated, pulling away enough to look her in the eyes.



"Kell, you know I want to," Carrie said, running a gentle hand over her cheek.



"Then why don't you?"



"Please don't ask me that, you know I can't," Carrie replied, knowing how much she was hurting the girl before her as she felt her own chest tighten.



"I know," Kelly said softly, her gaze falling to the ground.



"Hey," Carrie soothed. "Listen to me."



Kelly looked up, her eyes glistening.



"I love you so much. You know that," Carrie reminded her.



"Yea," she nodded. "I just...I know how much it sucks being away form you. I don't think I can go through that again."



"It's not gonna be like before," Carrie assured her. "We're gonna call, and I'm gonna come visit, and you're passing through Nashville, so I'm gonna see you then. I promise it's not gonna be like last time."



"I can't do this," Kelly shook her head.



"Kell, look at me," Carrie demanded softly, waiting till she held the other singer's gaze. "You are the strongest, most stubborn person I know. You can do anything that you want to. I know that for a fact."



"But I don't want to do this," Kelly countered, her voice cracking.



Carrie closed her eyes, taking a breath. Those beautiful hazel eyes staring at her would be the end of her, "We don't have a choice."



"I'm sorry," she replied, her voice small.



"Sorry?" Carrie questioned, looking at her worriedly. "For what?"



"For making this harder on you than it should be. I know I'm acting like a baby right now, but I can't help it."



"Don't apologize," Carrie smiled. "It's taking everything I have not to be the same way right now."



"So, this is good bye?"



"You wanna walk me to the cab?"



Kelly shook her head, "I can't."



"So you wanna do this now?"



She nodded.



"Alright," Carrie nodded in agreement, taking a deep breath. "Bye."



"Bye," Kelly replied, welcoming the soft kiss that was planted on her lips. She wrapped her arms around Carrie as the country singer tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. As soon as their tongues met, Kelly felt her knees get weak. She backed into the door, looking for something to hold herself up. Carrie wrapped one arm around Kelly's, pulling their two bodies as close as she could and placed her other hand on the door for support as Kelly moaned into her mouth, sending delightful needles down Carrie's spine.



Kelly was the first to pull away, searching for air. She rested her head against Carrie's shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on her neck.



"I'm gonna go," Carrie said. "If I don't go now, I never will."



Kelly nodded, pulling away, "Care, I--"



"Don't," she shook her head. "Please don't say it. I don't want you to say it just because I'm leaving. You're just upset, and worried, and I don't want that to be the reason why you say it."



"But that's not why," Kelly argued.



"Please," Carrie begged. "Do it for me then? I wouldn't be able to leave if you said it."



Kelly nodded.



Carrie sighed, leaning forward and kissing her forehead, "I'll call you," she whispered against her skin before opening the door behind Kelly and walking out, trying to make it as quick and painless as possible.



Kelly heard the door close behind her and she took a shaky breath, not ready to face the upcoming weeks alone.



+++++++



"Kell," came a knock on the door an hour and a half later.



Kelly opened her eyes, not even remembering falling asleep. She carefully stood up from her spot on the floor against the wall, stretching out all the kinks. She opened the door to find Ashley staring back at her.



"Hey, you ok?" she asked worriedly.



Kelly just stared back at her, wondering why she was asking probably the most obvious question in the road.



"Sorry," Ashley frowned, noticing the sarcastic look she was receiving. "But hey, it's time to go. The guys have gotten all the cars packed up. We're just waiting for you to pray so we can get going."



Kelly nodded, not saying anything, waiting for Ashley to lead the way down stairs.



"Ke--" she began, but thought better of it, realizing that she would get know where with her right now. So, she turned around, heading back down to the living room where everyone was waiting. They all stood at Kelly's arrival, no one saying anything. None of them had a clue what was going on, but they all knew her well enough to know that whatever it was, it wasn't good.



They formed a quick circle, grabbing hands, waiting on the Texan to speak.



When she finally did, it wasn't with the normal heart-filled voice that they were used to.



"Lord, please watch over us on this tour. Please, guide us to our destination safely, and make sure that we are on your path. Please allow us to play our music to the best of the abilities that you have blessed us with, and please watch over our fans and make sure that they all make safe trips to and from the shows. Amen."



There was a collective "Amen" amongst the rest of them as the group dispersed, no one really talking as they gathered up the couple of small bags that were remaining and headed out of the house. Kelly and Jason were the last to leave, making sure everything was as it should be.



"Kelly, I know you're probably upset about having to leave Carrie," Jason began as he locked up the house, figuring he should at least try to talk to her.



"It's time to go Jay," Kelly said flatly, turning to make her way to Cory's car that they would be riding in to the airport.



++++++++



Carrie was met with a familiar face as she exited the plane.



"Hey John," she smiled, greeting her new lawyer with a hug. "It's good to see you."



"You too," he returned the smile, taking her bag from her.



"Please tell me this means you have good news," Carrie said, not sure if she could handle any more bad news.



"Yes," his smile widened as they made their way to baggage claim. "But that can wait until we get out of this place. I was never much a fan of airplanes or airports for that matter."



"Amen," Carrie laughed as they collected her things. "So how's Mary?" she asked, wondering how his wife was doing seeing as it had been a month or two since she had seen her last. John was a recent employee, but since Carrie had hired him, he and his wife had been nothing but kind.



"She's doing good," he replied. "She's starting to get big."



"Excuse me?" Carrie asked, confusedly.



"Oh, sorry," he laughed. "We haven't had a chance to really talk in the last month. She's pregnant."



"Oh Mark," Carrie sighed giddily. "I'm so happy for the two of you. That'll be your second, right?"



"Yep," he said, proudly as they made they're way to the car that was waiting. The driver helped to load her stuff in the trunk, and Carrie and Mark slipped into the back seat.



"So, what's the news?" Carrie asked as the driver started the car.



"Well, we found a loop hole. It turns out that according to--"



"I'm gonna stop you right there," she laughed. "Before you even get started with all the legal mumbo jumbo, remember I'm from Checotah."



"Sorry," he laughed as well. "Well, the case of the matter is you can have your record, the way you want. You see, in simple terms, the thing is that your original contract states that he has complete control right of every step of your records, right?"



Carrie nodded.



"But that the contract has to be renewed for every new CD, right?"



Carrie nodded again.



"Well, when you resigned the contract, had you started to record Carnival Ride, yet?"



"No," Carrie shook her head.



"Exactly. You hadn't even released Wasted as a single yet. So, Some Hearts was your CD at the time. So, technically, Carnival Ride is to be considered a new CD, therefore, you would have to resign over permission to him."



"Oh my God," she replied, giving him a quick hug. "Thank you so much. Seriously, if it weren't for you, I'd still be stuck in that contract, none the wiser."



"Don't thank me," he said, shaking his head. "You need to thank Kelly. Under her request, her lawyer was working with me on this for nonstop. He said he didn't understand it because she's in the middle of her own mess with the label right now, but apparently, she was pretty set on you getting the help that you needed first."



Carrie felt a lump rising in her throat, and she turned away to look out the window. Even when the Texan was across the country, she was still making Carrie fall even more in love with her. She swallowed back the tears, hearing Mark voice his concern.



"You ok?"



"Um, yea," she replied shakily. "It's just been a long couple of weeks with this, and I'm just glad there finally seems to be some sort of hope."



"Well, we're not in the clear yet. These next few weeks, and how you handle them are going to be extremely important. I think you should really get to work on finding a new manager, first off."



Carrie nodded, feeling the tears forming once again at his words. She knew that the only reason she had made it through the past couple of weeks was because she had Kelly at her side. Now, she was only half-way through, and the one person she needed the most was on a plane headed in the opposite direction of her.



++++++++



Kelly looked out the window as the plane landed, gradually coming to a halt. She couldn't hear what was going on around her as she had her ipod earphones firmly in her ears. At first, she almost didn't take them out. But when she started to hear her band mates worried whispers, she turned the volume up as loud as was safe, drowning everything else out.



"Kell," Kate said, frowning when she didn't get a response. "Kelly," she repeated, shaking her shoulder.



Kelly jumped in her seat, turning around to face her curiously.



"It's time to go," Kate informed her, pointing to everybody else that were unboarding the plane.



Kelly nodded, standing up in her seat. She went to get her carry on bag out from the over head compartment, but found that one of the guys had already grabbed it for her. She sighed, making her way off the plane, empty handed, putting her earphones back in her ears and slipping her sunglasses on her face, trying to ignore the concerned glances. They made their way over to baggage claim then to the shuttle that would take them to the hotel where the buses were located.



Kelly was happy for the shuttle ride. It was growing late in the day, and the bus was already dimly lit, so throw in her sunglasses, and Kelly found she could cry quietly without anybody noticing.



++++++++



Kelly looked down at her phone as she exited the bus to find that she had one missed call. They had all gotten settled in, and were making their way down to the theater to make sure everything was taken care of that needed to be for the show tomorrow. She clicked on her voice mail, playing the message.



"I just wanted to tell you how much I love you right now," she heard Carrie's voice through the speaker. "And I already miss you, and I'm sending your lawyer like the most kick ass basket ever because seriously, he saved me, and I know it was all because of you. So yea, I love you, and I miss you, and I love you, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms again, and I love you babe. Bye."



Kelly sniffed back the threatening tears, sliding her sun glasses onto her face.



"You good?" Jason asked.



"She's amazing," Kelly responded.



Jason laughed, putting his arm around her shoulder as they hailed a cab along with Tim, the tour manager.



+++++++



"Alright," Carrie said, smiling in content as she finished the home cooked meal that Mary had made for them. "So, first on the list?"



"Well," John said. "I seriously think you should get right on the whole manager situation, because I really don't know too much about this stuff."



"Nonsense," Mary smiled, picking up the two year old from his seat. "You probably know more than all of those snotty city types."



Carrie laughed, nodding in agreement, "You've been around the business long enough. You know at least enough to be able to set me on the right track."



"I'm gonna go put Xander to bed. If you need me, I'll be upstairs," Mary smiled.



"Thanks sweetie," John smiled, giving her a kiss as she passed.



"Yea, thank you so much for this. The food was amazing as always," Carrie smiled.



"You know you're welcome anytime hun," Marry replied, carrying her young son out of the room.



"So, the manager might take at least a couple days," Carrie said, turning to John. "I mean, I want to make sure I do this right, and get the right one. I can't handle another Chris."



"I know," John nodded. "So, while that's going on, you should probably get a hold of the original CD. The one that you approved. That way, we can start the production of those. You want to push the release date back the least amount as possible."



"How do I get the CD. Doesn't Clive have the rights to it?"



"Let me take care of that," John said. "And as soon as you think you've found you're new manager, make sure I read everything before you sign it, deal?"



"Deal," she nodded, happy that things were starting to look up.



++++++++



"So, I got this voice mail earlier," Carrie heard Kelly's voice say as she checked her messages. "And it was from this amazingly gorgeous girl that means the world to me, and I just wanted to tell her how much I miss her, and how I can't wait to see her again, and that everything good that is happening to her, she completely deserves 100 percent."



Carrie smiled as she hit the speed dial button on her phone. It rang four times before she heard someone pick it up.



"Hello?" a thick twang asked.



"Were you sleeping?" Carrie laughed.



"No," Kelly smiled, giddy at the sound of the country singer's voice. "It's just late, and I haven't really talked all day cause I'm trying to save my voice and stuff."



"It's not even ten yet," Carrie pointed out.



"Not in New York," Kelly reminded her.



"Oh, shoot Kell, I'm sorry."



"No, no, no, it's fine, really. I wasn't sleeping. I couldn't sleep cause I'm so wound up for tomorrow, so I suckered Tim into a game of scrabble."



"Who's winning?"



"Me, of course."



"That's my girl," Carrie beamed. "So, I'm not gonna keep you long, cause you need to get some sleep, and I don't want you talking too much anyway. I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me out with my CD and everything."



"It looks like it's gonna work out?" Kelly asked, hopefully.



"Yea, it does. Seriously, I don't know what I would've done without you these past few months."



"Probably cried a lot less," Kelly laughed.



"Yea, but I would have also smiled a lot less," Carrie replied sincerely.



"Aw babe, that's so sweet," Kelly said, her heart melting.



"It's the truth," Carrie assured her. "But hey, I'm gonna let you go, k? Tell Tim to make you go to bed."



"Alright," Kelly sighed playfully.



"Night Kell. I love you. Sleep well. And if you need anything at all, doesn't matter what time. Call me, k?"



"Ok," she replied. "I miss you."



"You have no idea," Carrie smiled sadly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."



"Ok. You get some sleep too, ok?"



"Ok," Carrie nodded.



"Alright."



"Bye."



"Bye."



"Took you long enough to hang up," Tim teased as Kelly hung up the phone.



"Shut up," Kelly laughed.



"So who's the lucky guy?"



"Nobody you know," Kelly replied. "Now, I'm gonna get some sleep."



"Tired all of a sudden?"



"I've been tired," Kelly admitted with a smile. "I was just waiting to hear that voice."



"Young love," Tim shook his head as Kelly walked to her room in the back of the bus.



+++++++++



Kelly woke up from a dream with a smile. It soon faded, however, when she realized she was alone in the bed. She sat up, stretching, looking around confusedly. Slowly, realization washed over her, and she remembered where she was and why she was missing a certain blonde. She sighed, getting out of bed and wiping the stray tear as she made her way to the shower.



++++++++++



"So what are you doing?" Carrie asked playfully, knowing full well what Kelly was doing. She was doing the same thing that she had been doing the last time she had asked--sitting in 'the chair'.



"Getting poked and prodded like a cow," she grumbled in response.



"You want a poke? Cause I'll give you a poke," Carrie heard Ashley threaten, making her laugh.



"Kell, I can let you go if you need," she said.



"No, you're good," Kelly assured her. "We're almost done, anyway."



It was her third performance, and it was the third time that they had talked on the phone that day. Kelly suddenly felt like she was back in high school, refusing to hang up the phone because she was talking to some new crush. Well, she imagined this was how it would have felt, because she never really had time for any of that back then.



"So, give me an update," she said, trying not to yawn as Ashley applied her lip liner. She didn't even know why the girl tried anymore. It was gonna be off in a matter of minutes anyway.



"Well, I got the CD back. So, we placed an order for all of those. Right now, I'm trying to decide on which cover art I want to use. And I've narrowed the search down to two managers."



"Care, please be careful with them. I don't want some jackass in charge of your career," Kelly said worriedly.



"Don't worry, I got it. Plus, John is helping me out, so we're good," Carrie assured her.



"Good," Kelly sighed with relief as Ashley started to put away all the instruments of torture.



"You're done?" Carrie laughed, knowing what that sigh meant.



"Finite," she smiled.



"Alright, well I'm gonna let you go," Carrie said, the disappointment evident in her voice.



"But Care--"



"Nope, no buts," she replied. "You need to finish getting ready and start warming up. I don't want Tim fussing at me again for making you talk too much."



"Yea, I'm sorry about that."



"No big. It's nice to know that they're looking out for you when I'm not there."



"When are you gonna be here?" Kelly asked, allowing the emotion to show in her voice for the first time as Ashley exited the room.



"I'm gonna be there as soon as humanly possible," Carrie assured her. "I've just got so much stuff going on right now, but give a little more time, ok? You know how much I want to see you again."



"I know," Kelly nodded. "I just miss you."



"I miss you too," Carrie smiled. She always loved those brief moments when Kelly let her guard down, even if at times it were heart-breaking to hear the hurt in her voice.



"So, I'm gonna let you go. You're gonna be ok?"



"Yea, I'm good," Kelly nodded, with a slight sniff.



"Alright, kick ass out there for me."



"Always," Kelly smiled.



+++++++++



"Seriously?" Carrie asked, laying back in bed.



"Seriously," Kelly replied, doing the same. It had been her second night at the Beacon, and it had been amazing. Well, almost.



"Why?"



"I have no clue," Kelly sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly.



"Is he that stupid?"



"I wouldn't say stupid..."



"Kell, do you know your fans and how fiercely loyal they are to you?" Carrie asked. "I'm pretty sure he got an earful."



"You think they'd do that?" Kelly asked.



"Of course they would. They love you and your crazy ass self, and they would want to defend you, which is exactly what I would have done."



"Freaking Clive Davis showed up to my concert tonight," Kelly repeated, still not believing it.



"Yep," Carrie laughed. "But at least it was a good show, right?"



"Oh wow, yes," Kelly smiled. "The crowd was great. It's like they knew I needed them or something."



"Good, hopefully he'll see what a dumbass he's been."



"Care--"



"Nope, you're not allowed to be a sweetheart right now," Carrie broke in. "He's a dumbass, and I don't want to hear you say otherwise."



"Alright," Kelly laughed, amazed at how comforting a single voice could be. She had actually had a somewhat heated argument with Clive backstage after the show, but she wasn't gonna let the country singer know that.



"So, you're in bed?"



"Yep."



"You're snuggled up?"



"Not next to you," Kelly frowned.



"Kell," Carrie sighed. "You know it kills me when you say stuff like that."



"Sorry," she apologized, getting comfortable.



"Alright, good night," Carrie said.



"Good night."



"I miss you."



"I miss you too."



"Sleep well sweetie," Carrie smiled. "I'll be dreaming about you."



"Tell me how that dream turns out," Kelly replied.



"Alright," Carrie laughed. "Bye babe."



"Bye."



Carrie hung up the phone, her smile falling. She had stopped saying I love you at the end of their conversations because she knew how bad Kelly felt about not being able to say it back, but she always made sure just to sneak it into the conversation some how, so that Kelly knew how much she meant to her.



The conversations were starting to get harder to have. Every time she heard that raspy southern drawl, she wanted to break down, especially on nights like tonight. She knew that Kelly was more upset than she was letting on, and all Carrie wanted to do was to hold her in her arms until she fell asleep, letting her know that there are people out there that love what she's doing.



Carrie bit her lip, wiping away a rogue tear as she turned onto her side, towards the wall. She couldn't stand to face the other direction and have to see the empty bed before her.



+++++++



Carrie frowned as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket while she was on her way to a meeting with the devil himself. He had pulled every string he could, and it was becoming a nightmare to try and get the new CD finished and ready to ship out. She pulled out her phone, seeing Kelly's name flash over the screen. She sighed, pressing the ignore button, silently apologizing, but now wasn't the time. She couldn't afford to go into that office with tears in her eyes which was becoming a more and more frequent occurrence at the end of their conversations.



+++++++



Kelly frowned, getting her voicemail. She hadn't talked to the country singer all day, and she was worried that something was wrong. She knew that Clive had been giving her a hard time, so she just wanted to remind her that it was all gonna work out.



"Kell," Jason said, running up the steps to the bus with a smile. "We're heading out to the Falls, you ready?"



"Um, you know what?" Kelly replied. "I think I'm gonna pass."



"What? You were seriously looking forward to this. What's up?"



"Nothing. I just have a lot of work I need to catch up on," Kelly lied. Truth was, she wasn't exactly in the mood to go see something that was supposed to be beautifully romantic.



"You sure?"



"Yea, go on. Have fun. Take some pictures for me."



"Alright," Jason replied. "Don't work too hard, now."



"Ok," she smiled, watching him walk off the bus.



++++++++



"Where you been?" Kelly asked as she tried to hop into her pants for the concert a few days later while balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder.



"Super busy," Carrie sighed, exhausted.



"I can tell," Kelly replied. "You've called like once in the past couple days."



"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just, this is harder than I thought it would be."



"Us?" Kelly asked, worriedly.



"No, no, not us," Carrie quickly assured her. "Us is perfect. I meant the whole thing with Clive. He's really good at this."



"Yea," Kelly nodded in agreement.



"You ok?" Carrie asked, noticing a change in her voice.



"You really think 'us' is perfect?"



"Well, yea, I mean, we're making this work, right? That's all I can ask for," Carrie replied.



"Yea," Kelly frowned. "Look, I got to go. I need to start warming up."



"Already?"



"Yea," she replied, wiping away the tears. "I'll talk to you later?"



"Of course you will," Carrie replied, growing nervous at her tone of voice. "Are you sure you're ok?"



"Perfect," Kelly said, flatly.



++++++++



"Care, I can't talk right now," Kelly said, plugging a finger in her other ear, trying to drown out the noise surrounding her.



"You were the one upset that we weren't talking enough," Carrie pointed out. "Now you're the one that doesn't have time."



"Carrie, I'm sorry," she apologized, trying to hide the edge in her voice. It had been a long day that just seemed to be getting worse. "But the bus had a flat, so we were late getting here, and it's pouring rain outside, so it's slowing down the set up, and I just don't have time right now. I'm sorry."



"Yea, me too," Carrie frowned.



"Babe, please don't do this right now. I know you're upset, but I just can't deal with that at the moment. I have so much stuff going on, and I just can't do everything at once."



"Fine," Carrie replied, already tired of this conversation.



"Care," Kelly pleaded.



"I love you," she said almost angrily.



"And I miss you," Kelly responded.



"Exactly."



"Carrie, that's not fair--"



Click.



Kelly sighed at the sound of the call ending. This was not how she wanted to feel only hours before a concert. She knew she shouldn't have answered the call, but she been craving to hear Carrie's voice, and was hoping for some sort of comfort after a long morning.



She should have known better, however. Their calls had become increasingly shorter, and their tones more weary. Even then, she still hadn't expected Carrie to throw the 'I love you' thing in her face. That was low and uncalled for and down right painful. She shoved her phone back in her pocket, agitatedly. She hadn't been this upset before a show all tour. She hadn't been this upset before a performance since the last tour, and she didn't want to go through that again. So, she did what she did best, and put the blonde country singer in the back of her mind, forgetting about it all for the time being.



+++++++



"Care, I need you," Kelly pleaded, the tears streaming down her face as she sat in bed.



"I know," Carrie replied, wiping away her own tears.



"No, I need to see you. I need to kiss you. I need you to hold me," she cried.



"Kell, I know baby, I know," Carrie assured her, giving up on wiping away the tears because they just kept flowing. "Don't you think I need you too?"



"Why can't you come see me?"



"I'm trying. I seriously am, and the minute I get some spare time, I'm gonna be there, holding you in my arms. I swear," Carrie replied.



"I can't do this anymore," Kelly said, trying to control her breathing as the tears only got worse. "Care, I can't do this without you. I can't be without you."



Carrie closed her eyes tightly, feeling her heart crumble at the amount of pain in the Texan's voice. She was tired and overworked and almost at a breaking point and Carrie knew who's fault it was. His. It was his fault. Carrie had finally gotten Kelly to tell her what Clive had wanted at the concert. Apparently he was pushing for a new album in 2008, one made his way.



Carrie was already pissed at him enough for even suggesting that, but to tell Kelly that in the middle of a tour when she already had enough other stuff to worry about? Frankly she wanted to shank the guy.



"Kelly, listen to me," Carrie commanded softly. "You are gonna be fine, ok? We are both gonna be fine."



"Don't you wanna come see me?" her voice cracked, and Carrie felt a sharp pain in her chest.



"Of course I want to go see you, are you kidding? I miss you so freaking much Kell, that at times I can't breathe. You're all I ever think about. I fall asleep wanting to hold you, and I wake up wanting to kiss you, but I can't. And that kills me every single time. So don't for a second think that I don't want to be there with you, because if I could, I'd be there in a heart beat."



"Then why don't you call as much?" Kelly asked, her voice suddenly small.



"I'm trying," Carrie replied gently. "But I'm just so swamped right now. The only time I have to call is early in the morning, and I know that's when you're sleeping."



"You can wake me," Kelly assured her.



"Kell," Carrie laughed through the tears. "I'm not gonna wake you up. You need all the sleep you can get right now. And besides, that phone works two ways, you know?"



"I've tried calling," Kelly replied quickly. "All I get is your voicemail. All I ever get is your voicemail."



"I know, I know. And I'm sorry. Our schedules are just complete opposites right now."



Kelly yawned deeply.



"You need to get some sleep," Carrie sighed.



"I don't want to sleep. I want to talk to you," Kelly replied, the tears falling once again.



Carrie smiled softly, "And I want nothing more than to talk to you. But you need some rest, ok? I don't want you getting burnt out on me."



"But I miss you."



"I miss you too, and I'm worried about you, so please, got to bed?" Carrie pleaded, gently.



"Alright," Kelly sniffed. "But can you do me a favor?"



"Anything."



"Don't hang up," Kelly said, shyly.



"Huh?"



"Please don't hang up. I'll go to bed, I swear, I just need to know you're there."



Carrie bit down hard, cursing at the tears that were once again forming, "Of course. I'll be here."



+++++++++



Kelly stretched, rubbing her eyes. It had been another tear-filled night. This time more so on Carrie's side. She was just having a bad day, and Kelly did all she could to comfort her, but it wasn't enough. None of it seemed to be enough anymore. What was worse, was the fact that she was hardly getting any sleep any more. She knew she was tired and that her body was wearing out, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. And frankly, if a long, exhausting night was the only way that she could talk to the country singer, then she didn't want to stop it.



++++++++++++



"How are you feeling?" Carrie asked, worriedly.



"I don't want to talk about it," Kelly replied, trying to find the shoes she wanted to slip on to walk to the theater where the concert would be.



"I know you're tired, and I know you're worn out."



"Wow, and you didn't even need a medical degree for that," Kelly frowned, cursing when she couldn't find a single pair of matching shoes.



"I'm not in the mood for this," Carrie frowned.



"Sorry," she sighed. "I'm just..."



"I know," Carrie replied. "I'll just call you later, ok?"



"Sure."



That had been three days ago, and besides several miss voicemails on both parts, they hadn't talked since. Kelly frowned as they prayed before the show. She didn't even know what she was saying, or if it was making any sense. Actually, she didn't really care. There was this hole forming in her chest where her heart used to be, and she couldn't care less. She just wanted to get this show over with and then the next one, and then a couple more and it would be Thanksgiving. Hopefully, some time back in Texas was exactly what she needed.



"Kell?" Cory asked worriedly, shaking her shoulder.



"Yea?" she said, coming back to reality.



"You ok? You completely zoned out on us."



"Oh, yea, I'm fine," she nodded. "Y'all ready."



"Yea," he nodded, watching her carefully as she led the way to the stage.



+++++++



The show had gone off with out a problem as they all had. She joked with the audience and smiled when they sang along, but she kept herself distant, never allowing herself to fully go there. She knew if she did and she allowed herself to completely feel the songs, then she wouldn't be able to last. So, she changed into jeans and a shirt, allowing Ashley to touch up her makeup real quick for the meet and greets.



"You're not ok," Ashley pointed out, fixing her eye liner.



"I never said I was," Kelly replied.



"You know, if you need a break--"



"I don't need a break," she said. "I just need her."



Ashley sighed, sadly, knowing that there was nothing she could do, "It's all gonna work out."



"I don't know," Kelly said, honestly. "I mean, if it's this hard every time one of us is on tour...I just don't think I can handle any more of this."



"It's not always gonna be this hard," Ashley assured her. "You've both just got a lot of stressful stuff going on right now. It's gonna get better."



"Maybe," Kelly frowned, looking into the mirror.



+++++++++



"That's the last of them," Tim announced, ushering out the last meet & greet.



"Tell me there's no celebrities," Kelly said, slumping onto a bench. It was one thing to pretend to be happy for her fans, at least she loved them and they loved her back. It was entirely different to pretend to be happy for some fake slime ball from L.A.



"No," Tim shook his head, looking at the list. "That's the last that I know of."



"Alright, thanks," she smiled weakly.



"I'll give you some time alone to unwind," he said, eyeing her carefully. "Don't worry about helping take stuff down tonight. Just chill here for a while, ok?"



"You sure?"



"Yea, you look like you could use a break."



"Thanks," she nodded, stretching out on the bench.



++++++++



"Kelly," Tim shook her gently. Two dark hazel eyes stared back up at him, unfocused. "Hey," he laughed.



"Hey," she greeted, confusedly. "How long was I out for?"



"Only fifteen minutes," he said, apologetically.



"This thing is pretty comfortable," she said, patting the wooden bench beneath her.



"It's hard as a rock," Tim pointed out.



Kelly frowned, "Maybe I'm just more tired than I thought."



"Yea, look, I'm sorry for waking you, and I know I said you were done, but someone really wants to talk to you. They loved the show, and just wanted to congratulate you on it."



"Plastic?" she asked, referring to the term that they used for a celebrity. She had always loved that movie Mean Girls.



"Yea," he nodded solemnly.



"Alright," she sighed, sitting up, adjusting her clothes and hair. "Send 'em in."



She watched as Tim walked out of the back room that had been used for the meet and greet. She could hear him talking with the person on the other side.



"Hey," a country singer greeted with a smile, walking into the room.