Mending Hearts

Shannon put his ring wear away in his bag after his shower and dragged a brush through his still-wet hair. He'd already dressed in his street clothes. Adam was on the other side of the locker room talking to Rey Mysterio, probably just waiting for Shannon to let him know he was done. It was kind of weird traveling with his ex-lover's friend, but not in a bad way. Adam didn't take sides and wasn't pressing Shannon for the story behind his relationship with Matt. He'd just told Shannon that if he felt like talking about it, he would be happy to listen and that whatever was said stayed between the two of them. That's all.

It nicenice not to have worry about making sure he was happy, too. Matt had always been so moody and needy that Shannon didn't have time for most of his friends when they started dating. It was surprising, when he thought about that, since Matt took every opportunity to remind Shannon that their relationship was only casual, then demanded the smaller man spend every wg mig minute with him. But Shannon had given up on trying to explain the inner workings behind Matt Hardy's behavior. Their time together was over. Abruptly. Matt made the decision to start things and he ended them, too. Shannon sighed sadly as he tied his hair back into a ponytail. He hated that he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"You okay, Shan?" Adam's deep voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah," Shannon replied summoning up as convincing a smile as he could. "Just tied the hair too tight at first."

Adam nodded skeptically. Rey walked over to them and sat down on the bench near Shannon's bag.

"Hey, you boys coming out for a late dinner with us tonight?" the small Latino asked.

"Not me," Shannon said turning back to his bag. "You should go, though, Adam."

"Nah," the Canadian shook his head. "My neck is getting stiff. I think I'm just going to put a heating pad on it for a while."

"You sure?" Shannon asked, surprised that Adam wanted to stay in with him instead of hanging out with the guys.

"Yeah," Adam nodded. "Well pick up take out on the way back, okay?"

"That sounds good."

"Okay, kill-joys," Rey grinned. "I guess I'll let it slide this time." He hopped up off the bench and ran out to find his friends.

Shannon shoved more of his things into his bag and contemplated the large man he was left with. He sure hoped Adam didn't have an agenda here, as the small blond was weary of filling the voids in his lovers' lives. Matt hadn't been the first to use Shannon for sex while wishing for someone else. There had been others. Like Evan, who used him to get close to Shane and dumped him when Shane made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Evan. And then there was Kanyon, who wanted someone to help him get over Juvi. As soon as Kanyon did, Shannon was found him in bed with Mike Awesome. Maybe there was something about him that made others want to use him and toss him aside. He certainly couldn't find any other explanation for the trend. Jeff would yell at him when he said this so he stopped bringing it up when they talked.

But Adam had a past, too, and Jeff had filled him in on it over the years. Adam and Jay were best childhood friends turned lovers. Jeff remembered many a night when he opened his hotel room door to find a crying Jay. Adam remained as emotionally distant as ever, even thought they were away from home and family and among other homosexual couples at work. Shannon felt sad for Jay and wasn't surprised when Jeff told him the couple broke up, Jay finally feeling he had no options left for him.

Now here Adam was with Shannon, and though he hadn't made any moves on him, the smaller blond hadn't missed the covert glances he was receiving when Adam thought he wasn't paying attention. He was still hurt and confused over Matt and didn't need another man moving right in to pick up where the older Hardy had left off. But Adam didn't do that. He seemed to accept that Shannon controlled what happened next and that was fine by the small blond. It felt oddly liberating.

"I'm ready to go," Shannon smiled holding up the car keys. Adam grinned and followed him out the door.

****************************

Adam munched on his hamburger and fries quietly while Shannon clicked the stations on the TV in an attempt to find something interesting. He smiled in amusement as the small blond grunted in defeat, tossing the remote onto his bed and grabbing a handful of his own fries. Shannon was apparently the definition of instant gratification. If he couldn't find what he wanted right away, he gave up. It said a lot about the man. As annoying as others may find that trait, Adam liked it. It suited his own patient persona perfectly.

"Nothing good, huh?" Adam asked.

"Nope," Shannon replied dejectedly.

"The TV have a DVD player?" the blond Canadian asked in as disinterested a tone as he could manage.

"Yeah," Shannon sighed. "A DVD/VCR combo, but the video store's closed by now."

"Yeah, I guess," Adam sighed. "Good thing I checked the place out this afternoon, huh?" He held up a small case containing The Ring, a movie he was sure Shannon liked considering the younger man's penchant for thrillers and horror movies.

"You did?" Shannon exclaimed happily, jumping off his own bed and grabbing the case Adam held out to him. "You even got a good one! Adam, how did you know?"

"I know you like those kinds of films," the tall blond shrugged. "I knew there probably wouldn't be anything good on tonight by the time we got back, so I made sure we were prepared."

Shannon just sat back on his bed and stared at him.

"What?" Adam asked suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"Just that no one usually bothers to worry about what I'd like to do," Shannon answered sadly. "I'm just surprised."

"Why?"

Shannon shrugged. Adam stopped eating and crossed his arms over his chest waiting for an answer. He wanted Shannon to open up, but not just because he was curious. If Shannon exorcised some of his demons, maybe he wouldn't look so sad all the time.

"Can I ask you something?" the small blond suddenly spoke up.

Adam nodded.

"What's going on here?" Shannon gestured around the room to indicate he meant the two of them. "I mean really. You and I rarely ever spoke before you left and now we're traveling together like a couple of good friends."

"That's what I'd like us to be," Adam replied, losing himself in the intense green gaze trained on him right now. God, Shannon's eyes were gorgeous. But he had to focus on the conversation right now. He'd only scare the smaller man away if he made a move now. This is where the patience comes in.

"Well, so would I," Shannon said with a look of relief. Then he bowed his head and studied his clasped hands in his lap. "It's just that, and please don't take this badly if I'm wrong, if you're only hanging around me to get me into bed, I'm afraid I can't oblige you right now."

Adam's heart wrenched when he heard those words. He realized that that's exactly what the small blond would be expecting from anyone spending time with him right now, as Matt's leaving had pretty much spoken volumes to the rest of the roster: Shannon was good for a casual fling, but not good enough for Matt Hardy. Anyone who didn't know the small blond would probably assume that he was a slut and that Adam was only after his turn with him.

"I don't know what you want from me," Shannon went on. "And I'm afraid that I'll start believing we're friends only to be faced with the choice of sleeping with you or being left alone again."

"I'm not Matt," Adam said carefully, with no hint of malice at all. "I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not attracted to you, Shan. I am. Very attracted. But I'm also not going to push you into something you're not ready for or you don't want. If all we can ever be is friends, I can deal. And I won't leave you all alone because of it either."

"But you want something."

"But I'm more interested in what you want," Adam replied. "I get the feeling you're not used to that, so here's how it works. You determine what you want and that's what we do."

Shannon looked up in surprise but said nothing. His big green eyes were filled with fascination though.

"I will never push you for something you don't want," Adam repeated. "And I will always, always be your friend."

"But Jay," Shannon whispered then clamped his mouth closed.

Adam grimaced but kept calm. What happened with his relationship with Jay was a mistake and he took full responsibility for it. He let something beautiful die. But he wouldn't let his past cloud his future.

"I know I made mistakes with Jay," Adam said making sure he didn't break eye contact. It was important that Shannon understand him. "I don't pretend it wasn't my fault. I was too scared and by the time I was comfortable with myself, it was already too late. There's way too much water under that bridge. I won't make excuses for that. I know I have a lot to make up to him, but I only want his friendship back Shannon. I'm not interested in restarting anything with him. And I'm sure he wouldn't be interested either."

"Don't be so sure," Shannon said sadly. "He still calls Jeff and Jeff told me he isn't interested in anyone else."

Well that took Adam by surprise. That Shannon was interested enough to ask Jeff about him was a good sign, but Adam refused to read too much into it. He'd wanted to be with Shannon for so long, he wouldn't think of doing anything to jeopardize their fragile friendship. And now he knew that Jay was still thinking of him. Well, he couldn't help but wonder what might have been. But he wasn't in love with Jay anymore and his feelings for Shannon far overshadowed the past. But it appears that Shannon would need time to trust him.

"Then I'm sorry I'll be disappointing him," Adam sighed. "I can't make myself feel something that's gone."

"Even if I only want to be friends with you?" Shannon asked.

"Even then," Adam nodded. "I miss Jay as a best friend, Shannon. But I don't want to get back together with him romantically."

Shannon watched him for a few long minutes then nodded solemnly and picked up the DVD again. He went to the TV and inserted it in the player, grabbing the remote on his way back to his bed.

"I do want to be friends with you, Adam," he said before turning on the player. "But I can't promise anything more right now."

Adam smiled and nodded at the small blond then settled back to watch the film. At least they cleared the air a little now and could go back to getting to know each other better.