Rummy

The slowly fading afternoon sun glints of the blade of my cutlass. I hadn't a clue why I decided to bring it outside to polish, but then again I hadn't been having the best of days. Movement behind me was enough to make me pause, but not to stop and turn around.

"I didn't see you this morning."

"Slept late," I replied shortly.

Demeter sat down next to me with a small smile, "I didn't ask for an explanation."

"Yeah, well I gave you one anyway, how's that?"

"You had a bad day," she noted, somehow summing up my entire ordeal in two words. Bad day. What a fucking understatement.

"No shit. Sometimes I wonder whether the Everlasting Cat doesn't have it in for me... and Growltiger, I'll kill the fuckin' bastard when I get back. Sends me here for three fuckin' months." I glared down at the blade of my cutlass, and the oiled cloth in my right paw, "what's he trying to do? Depress me?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked at her, one eyebrow raised suspisciously, "are you trying to get me in the sack, babes?" I was a little offended when she laughed.

"No, I asked you what was wrong," Demeter said, a wide grin plastered across her face, "not whether you wanted me to 'oil your sword'."

I snickered, "didn't know you had a dirty sense of humour, Goldilocks."

She smirked, "I have my moments." Then she sobered, "I was asking you as a friend."

I blinked and set my cutlass aside, "are we friends?"

"I don't know. It feels like we're friends," Demeter replied, and shifted around to hug her knees, her head tilted slightly to one side.

"I've never had any female friends before," I admitted, "all any queen usually wants is a nice quick fuck and maybe a return invite." Demeter smiled slightly. Suddenly I realised how stupid I must have sounded accusing her of wanting a lay. "Yes," I said, "it's true. I -am- an idiot."

"You can talk to me."

"I'm just... fuck it," I looked over at her, setting the rag aside as I prepared to hook my cutlass back onto my belt, "do you want to come back to my place? For... tea, or whatever. Something... don't look at me like that." I ran a paw through my head-fur, "it makes me feel like some kind of pervert."

###

"...I just can't beleive her. Four years, nearly four fucking years we've been split up because -she- left me. I've been gone, what, three years, and the instant I come back she's all over me with her degrading comments, pushing her tits in my face and trying to tell me she's the best lover I'll ever have." I adjusted my mane with a sense of righteous indignation, "she fuckin' followed me into my den today. Had the audacity to openly proposition me, and she's already in some kind of fucked up relationship with Munkustrap. Everlasting Cat, it makes me sick to my stomach."

"You don't like her."

"No shit?" I snorted derisively, "a short while later I was about to go talk to Munkus, don't ask me why, I forgot the instant I saw him banging -her- from behind up against the wall of his den. That's just fucked up, don't you think?... Oh, sorry, did you want more of that?"

"No." Demeter shook her head, and set aside her empty glass, her arms then crossed loosely around her waist.

"No you don't think it's sick that half an hour after she propositioned me I find one of my ex's fucking Munkustrap, or no you don't want more cream?" I raised an eyebrow. She was sitting in the middle of my den, a blanket casually looped over her footpaws, and was also looking at me like I'd just said something stupid. Which, on thinking back, I realised I had.

"I'm fine," she answered after a while, and nodded, "you seemed to be on a roll."

"Yeah, well," I sighed, "the roll is over. That's pretty much my day. Uh... how was yours?"

Demeter laughed, "you're not very good at this, are you?"

"I know, Rumpus, I know," I grinned at the self-antagonising tone of my voice, "emotional exchange just isn't my thing, hun."

She smiled, and was about to say something when a feminine voice that wasn't hers cut in. "Tugger, the entrance is blocked!"

"Shit!" I scrambled to my feet, "what's the time?" Not waiting for an answer I shoved the empty glasses to the side of the room and snuck a look out the front through a small gap in the wall, "holy fucking hell! Shit, shit, shit!" I spared a glance at Demeter, then quickly scanned the room, "uh... would you mind... hiding? Please?" I waved in the direction of a pile of spare cushions and blankets. "I'll explain later."

The gold and black queen raised an eyebrow but promptly made herself disappear into the pile of cushions. I waited a few moments for her to get comfortable before removing the trashcan lid that blocked the entrance to my den.

.

I greeted Jemima with a soft smile as my paws ran up the sides of her arms. "Hey, baby. Listen---"

"Shh," she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me into silence, "lets just go inside."

"But, baby..."

"Not now, take me inside."

"Baby, Jemi, I'm not feeling well."

Jemima frowned slightly, "are you seeing somebody else?"

"No! No, of course not, baby."

"Then lets go inside," she pushed me back into my den with surprising determination. I was seated on the floor before I knew what was happening, her hot little tongue in my mouth, her paws combing through my mane. I jumped a little when she stopped kissing me to flick the tips of my ears with her tongue.

"Mm... oh Heaviside!" Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Not good... "Baby, stop it."

Jemima giggled a little. "No, I'm not stopping."

"No, no... don't..." Fuck, what's she doing? I moan. Oh shit! What the? When did I lie down!? She sucks hard on my left ear... Mmnnn... that would be when. "Wait, baby, no... no..."

I weakly try and push her off me. She grabs my paws and pushes her breasts against my palms. "Rumpus, Tugger, sometimes you can be so kinky."

"No, that's not what I..." She's wet. "Jemi..."

"Yes..."

"Don't..." She's still so tight.

"Don't move... Tugger...!"

Ahh fuck! I don't argue anymore, and show my assent with a long whine of pleasure. I guess the votes are in, I'm officially a kinky perverted bastard...

###

I lay, dissheveled, in the middle of my den, breathing heavily after just having been willingly 'raped' by my delicate, much younger, lover several times. Rumpus, Jemima could go for it when she wanted! She'd left a couple of minutes ago, and I was trying to get enough courage to go over and explain myself to the queen who was still hiding in the corner. I was pretty sure I knew what she was thinking about me, the tom who had admitted to having no female friends and then had her watch (accidentally, mind you) as he fucked a much younger queen right in front of her.

She probably thought I would try and round off the night by giving her a good tumble too.

Carefully I stood and walked over to the pile of spare cushions and blankets. "Demeter, you can come out now... babes?"

I frowned and gingerly poked the pile. When nothing happened I shoved a few of the cushions and blankets aside. "What the...?" Apparently she was already gone. Everlasting Cat, how the fuck did that happen?

###

"I didn't know you were with Jemima."

I was on my feet, having nearly jumped out of my skin at the voice that sounded behind me. It was early morning, just before the odd twilight that came before dawn and the sunrise. I blinked the last of my just-woken-up grogginess away and stared blankly. Demeter stood in the doorway to my den, looking perfectly fine.

"Come on," she said, "or you'll be late to watch the sunrise."

I followed her outside and to our usual spot on the old ford. "How did you manage to leave last night?"

Demeter smiled slightly, "I tiptoed out while the both of you were occupied. I didn't think you'd want me to stay for that."

I grinned, at the same moment realising I'd forgot my cutlass (ahh well, not like I'd need it), "you're really something, Goldilocks."

"Why? Because I didn't stay to watch you?"

"Because you didn't straight off jump to the conclusion that I was planning a threesome."

She shook her head and we sat down in our respective places--- it was beginning to become habit to sit in the same places, "were you?"

"Fuck no! Uh... no offense."

"None taken." Demeter drew her knees up to her chest to rest her chin on them, "the thought didn't occur to me. You don't seem the type to dabble in sexual perversion..."

I sighed heavily, "Everlasting Cat, you really have no idea."

She smirked, "without a casual date first."

I blinked, my mouth hanging open as I stared at her. She was grinning, her delicate fangs exposed, and her eyes crinkled up... laughing at me. "Fuck you!" I exclaimed after a few seconds of shock, "you dirty tramp! No wonder he dumped you--- probably couldn't stand your sense of humour!"

All of a sudden the grin dissolved, and her demeanour returned to being almost perfectly calm and unemotional. "I dumped him," she told me quietly, ears down.

I blinked, "he told me he dumped you." I paused... hangon, come to think of it, he hadn't. "Or... well, that was what I assumed."

"Well, you know what they say," she smiled slightly, "to make an assumption is to make an ass out of 'you' and 'mption'."

I shook my head, grinning slightly, "you're a freak, babes."

"Birds of a feather," she said knowledgeably and it took me a moment to realise that she meant 'flock together'. Great, she's a fuckin' intellectual. My thought must have shown on my face because she added; "You're the wind-ruffled pirate, I'm the paranoid space case--- it's not that strange."

I frowned slightly and shifted around to look at her. "You're not a space case, baby, and all that paranoia shit... it's coincidence, you explained that to me earlier. Heaviside, Demeter, babes, you're the only level-headed fuzz-ball I've seen around here." I raised my eyebrows, "and don't make me try and convince you, because that's a conversation we'd both regret. Uh... mostly me... being all screwed up and shit."

She grinned, shaking her head slightly, then looked up at me. The rising sun glinted in her eyes. They were hazel-green. "Tugger?"

"Yeah babes?"

"I'm glad you spoke to me." She looked out over the junkyard again, the cream-gold fur on her face shining pinkish-orange. "It's nice to be able to talk to someone."

"Yeah," I agreed, and only later would I realise that I missed the sunrise while I watched her face, "it is." It also occured to me that I could never talk to Munkustrap like this.

###

"Have you been fucking with Bombalurina?"

"What?" I blinked.

Munkustrap crossed his arms over his chest, "just what I said. Have you been fucking with her?"

"By fucking you mean what?" My expression was totally blank. At this moment I had no idea what the fuck he was going on about.

"By fucking," he said acidicly, "I mean either with your dick between her thighs, or alternately--- saying things to her that might make her upset with me."

"Neither," I replied casually, "I haven't spoken to her since I kicked her out of my den."

"That's funny," Munkustrap replied blandly, "because she's been obsessed with you ever since you came back. I don't appreciate the lack of attention from her--- I like to have her while she's awake, it's not the same when she's fucking well sleeping. I like to hear her moan."

I wrinkled my nose, "that's disgusting, Munkus. Rumpus, do you spank her as well?"

He smirked, and I got the feeling I really didn't want to know the details of his personal life. Then his expression changed, "look, just stay away from the bitch, Ok? It shouldn't be too much trouble, Heaviside knows you already hate her."

"Keep her away from me and you wont have any troubles," I said with a nod.

Munkustrap narrowed his eyes, "is that some kind of a weak threat?"

"Everlasting Cat! What? Are you paranoid now too?" I asked him, a little disbeleiving that he could be so hostile. Then again, I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising. After a moment I spoke again, "and speaking of paranoid, that reminds me. What exactly did happen between you and Demeter?"

"I told you," Munkustrap retorted flippantly, and then grinned, "I got sick of her being so distant. It was emotionally trying, you understand?"

"So you did what?"

"So I fucked her." I stared at him in silent shock. Munkustrap remained perfectly serious for all of seven seconds before bursting out into laughter, "Rumpus, Tugger, you actually beleived that?"

"I wouldn't put it past you," I admitted, and he seemed to find that particularly funny.

"Oh you're a crack up sometimes," he gasped out between laughing, "really."

"Ha fuckin ha."

###

I'm sitting beneath a screen door precariously balanced across a pile of scrap metal. Somehow shards of broken glass have managed to find their way onto the top surface of the screen, and the light filters down through them in a kelaidescope of colours. I feel half asleep as I shift my paw backwards and forwards, watching it turn from green to blue, to pink to honey-orange, and then to vivid red. I'd almost forgotten about this place, and how calm it could be.

"Been chewing catnip again? That red really brings out your chauvanism."

What the fuck?! I jump in shock and accidentally smash my head against the screen door. "Ow! Fuckin hell!" A few sparkling peices of glass shift from the pile and fall down to the ground. Everlasting Cat that hurt.

"Always so glad to see me," Bombalurina smirks and slithers further into the space under the door, "gosh it's roomy in here."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you," I reply tartly, "and fuck off, didn't I tell you I didn't want to see you around anywhere?"

"Since when do I listen to you?" She retorts, and fluffs her head-fur, adjusting her body so that it takes all the willpower I have not to just look out of habit. "I recently heard a little peice of interesting gossip, and naturally my ears perked up when I heard the news about our precious little Jemima."

"Belt up, you hussy, I don't want to her about it."

Bombalurina purposefully ignored me, "well it's just that she's been rather ill these past few mornings and---"

"I told you, Bomba, I don't want to hear anything from you." I sneer at her, completely ignoring anything she might have to say. I just don't want to hear from that bitch, all she ever is has been trouble, and all she's ever wanted is to see me broken down and begging at her feet. "So," I continued, "why don't you just piss off and go bug your fuck-buddy, I hear Munku has been kinda put out lately, you not letting him get any."

Bombalurina's expression changes so dramaticly and quickly that for a moment I can't beleive it's her. Then she glares at me, almost as though I'd just slapped her in the face, "you don't know anything about him! And you don't know anything about me! But I know you, Tugger, and when Jemima finally gets tired of stringing you along I know you'll come back to me."

"Why would I go back to a selfish whoring bitch?"

"Because that's what you want!" She exclaims, paws curled into fists.

Growling, I climb out from under the screen door and out into the blaring sunlight, "if you think I want that then you never knew me in the first place."

I leave her behind as quickly as possible, a half-snarl on my face that I can't seem to get rid of. Being around Bombalurina is like drinking scaldingly hot lemon-juice by the bucket. Heaviside, why won't she just leave me alone? ...I need to talk to Demeter.

.