Ms Self Destruct

Title: Ms Self Destruct

Author: TrentReznorsSin

Disclaimer: Trent unfortunately doesn’t belong to me *sobs* (do you really think I’d be sat at my PC if I owned him?? Lol) but Erin and some other people you won’t recognise belong to moi. I’m a poor uni student so don’t sue, I’m not making anything out of this!

Summary: Set during the Self Destruct Tour 94/95. Trent’s decision to ask his best friend Erin to come along for the tour has made them both ask the question ‘are we just friends?’

Feedback: Yes please, no flames though, they make me cry

Author's note: This is the first NIN fiction I’ve written in years, so I might be a bit rusty.

Wow, three chapters in a row for you to read! You lucky lot, lol. Thank you very much to those who review (keep doing it! I neeeeeed reviews!) and to my beta reader Danu!

Chapter Two: Watching You Watching Me

Erin walked out and joined the immense crowds that surrounded the stage. Naturally near the front, she had a good view. She had been to the odd Nine Inch Nails show when she had had time and when they had played at a near by venue.

There was something about Trent’s presence on stage that always sent shivers up her spine. He just oozed sexuality, the way he moved, the way he sang…

It drove her crazy.

Suddenly the lights went down and the crowd erupted into noise as the shadowed figures of the band moved out onto the stage. Her heart skipped a beat as the lights focused on Trent, as he played the chords of ‘Pinion’. His thin, talented fingers sliding along the fretboard with expert ease. She heard the shouts and screams of those around her, but her attention was focused on him.

Erin had never felt this strongly about anyone before. Her heart skipped a beat whenever he was around. Even after all these years he still had an effect on her and she still felt like a lovesick teenager. It made her want to cry, that she would never be with him because that was all he would think of her as, a friend.

During one of the songs he looked down at her and grinned. Smiling back, she sang along with the words. To everyone else around her, she was just a lucky fan that Trent had looked at.

She raised her hands amongst the others when ‘Something I Can Never Have’ was played. She saw lighters dotted around as Trent, highlighted in a spot light, sang. His gloved hands gripped the microphone, damp dark hair pressed against his face. He looked so vulnerable and alone, the rest of the band in darkness.

The song’s title seemed quite fitting as she sang along to the lyrics.

* * *

Trent loved performing on stage, the rush of adrenaline that he got from being on stage was better than any other high he had experienced. The fans loved him for his music, they didn’t care that he had been such a loser in high school, they didn’t care that he focused on the dark things in life.

He could be himself and they wouldn’t mind.

Looking down at the first few rows of fans, he spotted Erin singing along with ‘Burn’ and grinned at her. He found it amusing that he could interact with his best friend while on stage and no one knew the friendship they shared.

After being isolated for a lot of his teenage years, it wasn’t unusual for Trent to have only a few people he could really be himself around. To interviewers and other people he had to deal with, he was reserved and quiet.

But with these few people, he could be just Trent. A human being and not this rock god that people seemed to think he was.

The sudden wave of cheering as the song finished broke his thoughts, causing him to open his eyes. Remembering where he was, he moved away from the microphone and waited for the next song to start.

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