Seasons

I like to go walking in the afternoons. They remind me of the time when I was a kid, and me and my brother used to throw our school bags down in the hall way and run back outside, not even waiting for our snacks. We’d leap into the leaves that our dad had raked, and no one ever yelled at us because of it, because they just figured that’s what kids are going to do.

I like walking with Ville on these fall afternoons, holding hands in the park. The leaves were crunching beneath our feet, and the air was just cool enough to put a little bit of color in his cheeks.

Children shouted and laughed around us. But I didn’t pay any attention to the noise surrounding us. All I could hear was him. He was humming under his breath as his fingers laced through mine.

I knew that he wasn’t humming for me specifically. He was humming because he was thinking about something else. He was someplace else, someplace far from this Pennsylvania park.

But I think I was probably with him. Wherever he was, he took me with him. So I didn’t mind if his mind was someplace else. We continued on in the park, listening to the leaves scraping against the cement walking path.

“Smell it,” Ville stopped suddenly. I had continued walking, so when he stopped, my arm snapped back. I spun to look at him.

“Smell what?”

“Smell the air.” He inhaled deeply, obviously showing me what he wanted me to do. I obeyed him. This was a simple, if not very strange request.

The cool, crisp, pure air filled my lungs. It smelled sweet and damp, and I instantly wanted more. And so I sucked in air again. I looked at my lover, who was smiling at me.

“Isn’t it wonderful?”

Wonderful. I used to hate that word. I thought it was the weakest word in the whole language. Wonderful. Full of wonder. It just didn’t seem to accurately depict the things that it was applied to.

Of course, that was before I met Ville. That was before I took one look into those green, green eyes and had my breath sucked right out of me. That was before I knew all the things that I know now.

I know what it means now to have something that really is wonderful. I know what it means to have that feeling of wonder taking you over. I feel it every morning when I wake up and he’s beside me. I feel it every time he comes into my office to sit on my lap. I feel it in every kiss that he presses in my lips. I feel it every time I look up and he’s smiling at me.

I understand the word, now. I know what it really means now, when something is wonderful. I smiled at my green eyed lover and squeezed his hand.

“Yeah, it is.” I said softly.