Turn the Lights Out When You Leave

My mouth felt his tongue swipe across my lips, longingly, and I parted my mouth for him to gain access. Feelings swirled around in my head as the alchohol made its way through my blood and proceeded to raise the temperature of my entire body. I felt his hands move to my hips and start to make their way up and down my back. It was clear what he wanted, and it was obvious what I'd started. And as much as I wanted this, I wanted it to stop. And yet, I was too enveloped in his smell to do anything about it, like I had been hypnotized. He broke the kiss and all was silent through out the house except for the crackle of the fire.



"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me. I thought back to my rape and how my son was born and how bad the post partem was. I had a knife at my throat every other day. But there would be no children out of this, nothing but lasting memories. There would be nothing more than this, and he was comfortable with it, and so was I- we were mutual consenting adults. Then I thought to myself how much I was overthinking the situation and just shook my head yes.

Alan helped me stand up, and led me to the bedroom holding my hand the whole way. We stood awkwardly for a moment, till I sat gently on the bed.



"Well, either you can get undressed first, or I can." He said smiling. I smiled a little back. It was hard thinking about the rape every 2 seconds. But he made me feel safer. "Tell you what," He got down on his knees and leaned over the side of the bed I was on. "I'll get a shower and I'll be out in about 10 or 15 minutes and you can collect yourself here, and plan your next move." He lifted his face to mine as he stood up gracefully, and pecked me on the lips. "Okay, love. Be right back." He said, then darted out the door.



I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, thinking of all the pros and cons. I pulled off my jeans to reveal my black boy short cut underwear, and left it at that. All the random images came back, and I was determined not to let them get to me. I cupped my hands around my face and sobbed. Then pulled my shirt over my head, then before I knew it, I broke down in sobs again. Maybe it was the alchohol, maybe something wasn't right about the entire situation, but whatever it was, I just couldn't control myself. I walked over to the adjoining bathroom and looked in the mirror. I went to the living room quickly and grabbed my bag and rummaged for some eye liner. Once I found it, I traced the black pencil around my eyes, and sat back down on the side of the bed. Suddenly, I felt two hands on both my shoulders turn me around.



"What were you crying for?" He asked softly. I turned slowly, not expected him to be out so soon. I looked him up and down. He had a towel wrapped about his waist and a smaller towel in his hand. I couldn't help but notice how toned his arms were and when he turned his back to me for a moment to toussle his hair, I noticed how defined his back was. I could see the shaded areas of muscles each slope and rise . I was surprised to say the least, he may have been 61, but he had the body of a 30 year old.



"Nothing, I put some liner on my eyes, and I got myself in the eye with it." I lied. He shook his head.



"Ah, yes, there have been many eye losses all over the world due to eye liner. Be careful." He cautioned me and I wiped the side of my hand under both of my eyes. I looked at Alan as he towel dried his hair and put it back into place. I couldn't help but snicker at him and he finger combed it back into place.



"You're so vain." I said. He turned around to me.



"Oh really?" He asked.



"Yeah, you're fixing your hair and we're just going to mess it up again."



"Well, look at you. You put on eyeliner and all you're going to do is smear it and have to take it off later."



"Touche." I said, looking at him.



"Out of curiousity, that name, Delaney, do they call you anything else?" He asked.



"Laney." I replied simply.



"Laney." He repeated my name and I loved the way he said it. He had managed to turn a nickname into pure Shakespeare. When suddenly something else caught my eye. I looked over to the bedstand and saw a picture of Rima smiling, that was taken in black and white. I put the frame face down.



"Why did you do that?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.



"It feels like she's watching." I said, kinda childishly. I knew she wasn't in that picture. I knew she couldn't see us, but for some reason it felt as though if I did go through with this, I would be making a huge mistake. He brought his mouth to mine and kissed me whispering that it was alright. He unfastened my modest D-cup bra with his eyes closed and proceeded to take it off for me.



"Lay back." He said in a husky tone. I abliged. He removed the towel and laid over me, face to face and kissed me once more. I felt the heat rising all over my body as my tongue danced and circled around his and his hand began making little spirals in my hair. Then when he broke the kiss, he kissed my forehead and began to trail kisses down my neck and all over my breats. Then he bit one nipple firmly then let go just as soon as he'd bitten it. I gasped in surprise and he watched my reaction and smiled to himself. He then began to flick his tongue against one nipple, as he molded and kneaded the other in his palm, occasionally rolling the tip between his forefinger and thumb. I felt myself begin to get wet.



I felt my breathing speed up a bit, I felt warmer than I remembered being. He stopped sucking and began to continue his trail of kisses down to the hemline of my underwear, which he seemed to be admiring for a moment.



"What the hell are you looking at?" I asked, looking passed the mounds on my chest to his face. He seemed to be anamoured by something.



"Just curious." He replied quickly.



"About what?" I asked, thinking surely he was familiar with a woman's anatomy by now.



"I'm just surprised you're not wearing any Hannah Montana or Scooby Doo knickers." I picked a kleenex box off the headboard and chucked it playfully at him. He caught it and put it aside. "I was just kidding." He said casually as he brought his face back up to mine. "Now, I know we haven't been clear about the rules here. Rule 1 is no throwing things. Rule 2 is the only name you'll be calling in excstasy is mine. And rule 3, no crying." He said as he wiped a tear from the side of my face. He smiled and I agreed. "Alright." He whispered and began to kiss and nibble gently at my earlobe. I felt his breathing quicken and I felt his heart pounding as he laid ontop of me, his erection stiffening against my thigh. He brushed his fingers through my hair and I kept my eyes closed, completely enraptured in the feelings. My heart pounding, my thighs parting slightly automatically like a button had been pressed for access. I had been in this same situation a few times before in my life, but never like this. This felt different.



He continued kissing my lips he grabbed my bottom lip between his teeth and began sucking hard on my bottom lip, as his hand slid down my torso to the slit between my legs and ran his fingers over the crease of my womanhood through the sheer, black material that still hid everything from view. He pulled the material aside with his fingers and dipped them inside, mingling with the juices my body inadvertantly made in preparetion. I couldn't deny myself being turned on immensly at this point and now that he felt it too, his excitement was appearant as I felt his hardening length growing against me, and I was wet in anticipation.



"Are you sure?" He asked, ceasing all motion. "Are you absolutely sure, you want this?" He asked in a hushed tone. I nodded yes. "Say it." I blushed. I had never been that much into dirty talk, but for him it felt completely different and I was about to walk on fire for him to keep touching me.



"I want it, Alan." I said. He smiled deviously.



"What do you want?" He used a forefinger to circle around one of my perked up nipples.



"I want you to fuck me." I said sheepishly. He proceeded in lacing me with kisses and caresses and stood with his knees on the bed and removed my panties slowly, dragging his fingertips along my thighs and down my feet. He cast them aside to the floor and began to move his face down to meet the parting of my legs. I could tell by the look of astonishment that he saw the scar from my c-section. I sat up quickly and covered his mouth with mine.



"Please, you don't have to do that." I said. He looked at me curiously as I pleaded with my eyes. He nodded and laid me back down with one hand behind my back and moved his mouth to another neglected place and began to suckle and tease my nipples, kneading the other breast with his unoccupied hand, twisting the tip gently. He kept his face where it was currently then used his other hand to move back down to my moist mound and moved his finger up and down the crease, spreading the moisture. I writhed beneath him and I met his eyes and saw the miniscule smile that crossed his face, and I could tell he was enjoying the power over me. I began to move my hand down to his shaft and rubbed its length back and forth and I heard him moan into my skin. If he didn't hurry, I was about to take him and guide him by force if necessary. He pulled my hand away.



"This is my time to pamper you." He said in a husky tone. He inserted a finger inside and wriggled it around and I felt him pressing up against the walls. I writhed in pleasure and bucked my hips a little as he inserted another one inside.



"How many times have you done this?" He asked, fingers remaining where they were.



"A few, but it's been a long time." I answered, ashamed for one reason or another.



"Surely not. Someone as beautiful as you." He said. I turned my head away, knowing he must've been just over nice. "Look at me." He commanded. I obeyed.



"You're beautiful." He used his other hand to hold my chin and locked our lips in a deep kiss and began pushing his fingers in and out, and my body reacted by trying to meet his movements, and I felt an odd feeling that was absolute pleasure as my toes curled and my back arched. Then the feeling went to my head as he continued kissing me, mingling our tongues and I moaned into his mouth. "Say my name." He requested.



"Ah...Alan...alan..." I said, my voice shivering from the climax I felt surging through my veins. And suddenly the feeling became so intense I practically moaned his name and all my tense muscles relaxed and I laid back onto the bed.



"Alan, that was amazing." I said, complementing him. He beamed like a rooster with its chest puffed up. He kissed my forehead.



"It's not over yet." And as soon as I heard those words, I knew I was either going to be so sore the next day, or I would never want to leave, and yet I felt the presence of Rima in the room and wondered how many times had these sheets been hit by them? Then at the moment, I realized how much nirvana I felt, and I just didn't care. Alan held himself up over me and reached down to position himself at my entrance, and at once I felt a slight pain as his head was inserted slowly and retracted slowly, adding another inch with each entry and retraction.



"Laney..." He called my name as he pressed my legs up to my chest to gain a little more depth. Once I was used to the pain, all I felt was a feeling of being one with him. "Laney..." He whispered.



"Laney-lay.." He said. I moaned softly as he grunted. Beads of persperation appeared on his forehead that I wiped away, and I joined him in chanting our names to eachother.



"Oh my god, Alan..." I cried as I felt another climax coming on.



"Come on, love, take it." He grunted and closed his eyes, and smashed his lips against mine as I felt his cum flood inside me. All my muscles tensed again, and I climaxed, feeling one of the best moments in my life being branded into my memory. It was like some dream I never wanted to wake from. He laid ontop of me with his flacid member still inside me and we both laid trying to catch our breath.



"Alan?" I asked.



"Yes?" He didn't bother raising his head to answer, resting his face sideways between my breasts.



"I think I better go to sleep on that sofa." He chuckled at me and raised his head.



"What for? Afraid I might sneak a peak at you?" I began to laugh too, seeing no point in moving either. Instead, we changed sleeping positions and we laid across from each other on our sides, facing one another.



"Alan?" I asked again. His eyes were closed.



"Hmm?" He murmured.



"Earlier, you called me 'Laney-lay'. What made you call me that?" I inquired. He opened his eyes and grabbed my hand and entwined his fingers with mine.



"Because, That's what you are. You're my Laney-lay." He kissed my hand and rested it against his cheek. And went back to sleep. Yes, I was appearantly now his, Laney-lay, but he would more than likely forever be Rima's. And I knew in my heart, I should've thought ahead. I knew from the start this would end badly with my chronic inability to say no. Rima would be here and he would either think of me as nothing but a colleague in acting, or just as a new friend. And I couldn't be the other woman in a relationship. And I realized as I stared at him in the dim light, that no matter how many times I laid in his bed, or held his hand, or dare I even; pour my feelings out to him, I only knew one thing for certain: He would never, ever leave her.



Because I knew it in my heart thought my head was telling me no, I think I fell in love tonight. So I planned my next move by the immortal words of Marilyn Monroe that would take place at sun rise in about 3 hours, I would call a cab and leave before I was left and pretend like hell nothing happened.