Dont Please

Part 4 the Memories

I remember when I met you Matt seems like yesterday, you were in the ring with your brother he’s such a cocky git he was giving me grief for living on my dad’s name. Just like tonight I hate being compared to him I’m nothing like him surly people could see that. I really wanted to bring you both down a peg or two. You were so cute I couldn’t help but notice you.

I loved the way your eyes shinned under the light the black shirt you were wearing stuck to your chest as the water ran off your wet hair the shape of your chest under that shirt hypnotised my eyes. I knew I wanted you wanted to be with you.

Jeff hated me from the start he was against me even talking to you he seen me the same as my dad out for what I could get. You were so different from him you helped me you showed me things in the ring which I have never done. We grew close over the weeks we worked together, you told me about Shane and how you were with him for 4 years but you had grown apart because of work.

I’d heard different things about you and Shane i heard you were a jealous person and Shane couldn’t deal with it, you told me in was bullshit and lies. I believed you Matt i could see the sorrow in your eyes as you spoke about him. I loved the way you gave me that cheeky smile before we got it the ring and as usual you always made me look good even if the crowd never fell for it.

I also remember the night you told me how you felt about me we were in London UK 3 years ago now, miles from home. It was my first tour out there I loved the fans and how much they loved us I couldn’t help joining in with them drinking in the bar. You never came down lots of attention wasn’t your thing. Plus You had, had some fight with Jeff he wanted you away from me didn’t want me to be in your life said I was bad news, never understood why he felt that way I’d never done everything to him.

The knock on my door came at 3.30am I remember looking at the clock wondering which fan had found my room this time, “Ted you awake” I heard your voice shout through the door jumping up opening the door I could see the sadness in your eyes the fight with Jeff must have been a big one.

As we sat down on the bed I felt myself putting my arms around you “Ted” “shhhhh Matt don’t worry things will be fine, look at me” your eyes were sparking with the tears you had cried.
I realised at that moment how I felt about you how I needed you. I felt your lips against mine as you kissed me softly I could feel the warmth of your mouth. The whole world could disappear at that moment I felt nothing but you I could see nothing but you, your lips, your arms, your soft hair. My body was shaking right to my bones IV waited so long for this moment.

I broke the kiss and could see the disappointment on your face I smiled and you seemed to know what I was thinking “Ted I think.......” your voice trailed off as if you were scared I would reject you surly you knew that was never going to happen “Matt you are all I think about, you are all I want, from when I saw you that first night till today there’s nothing and no one that makes me as happy as you do, but I needed you to come to me I didn’t want to push you after Shane as I knew how you felt about him”

“Jeff will never accept this Ted”

“Matt this has nothing to do with Jeff I want to be with you if he can’t see that you are happy that’s his fault he has to deal”

I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday god I love you so much Matt what the hell have you done. The tears were back streaming down my face how the hell did we get to this point we were so happy where did it go wrong, what made you do this tonight. There were too many questions my mind is turning it hurts so much.

Looking down at the note, I notice the voice message on my phone clicking the button I hear your voice, I was partying while you was......... I can’t bring myself to say it.