The End of the Road

Author's comment: So, one more chapter for your attention :) Sorry if it feels rushed :( That’s what you get when I sit down and write a chapter in one go and proofread it once :P There’s one more chapter after this one and then I’m done with this story once and for all :P

Kyo reached the hotel in what felt like five minutes, even though he was travelling for more than half an hour. All the way he was thinking if he should just turn around and go home. But then he would imagine Kisaki, with a smug smirk on his face, telling Kaoru his own version of the things that happened in the past. And the last thing Kyo wanted was for Kaoru to know how foolish Kyo was, how stupid to let Kisaki use him, manipulate him, fuck him. And Kaoru wouldn’t be happy to get to know that Kyo kept a secret something as important for so many years.

Kyo entered the lobby and hesitated, looking around. He saw Kisaki sitting on a sofa and as soon as Kisaki saw Kyo, he smiled an unpleasant, self-satisfied smile and stood up. He motioned Kyo to follow him and headed for the stairs. Kyo slowly made his legs move, feeling his heart start beating quicker and louder in his chest.

Kyo followed Kisaki to the second floor and then down the hall. There was nobody around and the only sound of their footsteps was swallowed by a thick carpet. Kyo looked at Kisaki’s back, not quite believing what he was about to do.

He looked at that figure in front of him and felt hatred with every cell in his body.

Finally Kisaki stopped, unlocked a door and motioned for Kyo to get inside. Kyo hesitated, looking Kisaki in the face.

What am I doing?

Kyo stared at Kisaki’s face distorted by a self-satisfied, malicious grin and he couldn’t imagine ever letting that man touch him again.

“Come on, get inside” Kisaki hissed impatiently. His eyes glistened with sick desire, as if he couldn’t wait to close the door behind them and get his hands on Kyo.

And only imagining Kisaki’s short, stubby fingers all over his body, Kyo shuddered and stepped back.

He couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t even understand how he could ever think he could do it.

How could he let this filth touch him?

How could he cheat on Kaoru in this horrible way.

Kyo shook his head, slowly walking away from the open room and Kisaki.

“Go to hell” Kyo said, his voice coming out surprisingly steady, even though inside he felt all shaken. “I am never letting you touch me again.”

And with that Kyo turned around and almost ran back down the stairs and out of the hotel.

He prayed to gods that if Kisaki would follow his threats, Kaoru would be patient and understanding, that he wouldn’t be fed up with Kyo’s lies once and for all.

***

Kisaki muttered angrily, looking for his keys in the pockets of his jacket. He was so furious all the way back from hotel that he could barely keep from swearing loudly.

When the elevator opened, he finally got his keys out and stepped outside, only to stop the next second. There, by the door to his flat, stood Niikura Kaoru and he looked pissed off.

It took Kaoru a few seconds to see Kisaki, but when he did, he was next to him in a matter of seconds and Kisaki fell to the floor, the feeling of the pain in his chin catching up only when he landed on his ass on the dirty floor.

He felt Kaoru kick him in the stomach, then hit him on the face again and he barely managed to cover his head with his hands for protection.

Kaoru grabbed Kisaki’s jacket and lifted him from the ground, making Kisaki face Kaoru.

“You piece of shit!” Kaoru spat the words out. “Listen to me very carefully now! If you ever touch Kyo again, I will make sure that one evening there will be somebody waiting for you outside your building, who will chop your fucking nuts off and you won’t ever be able to even go to police and report it. I am rich and have connections and if I need to, I’ll use any resource I can to make sure you never lay a finger on Kyo again!”

Kaoru shook Kisaki in his grip and when Kisaki tried to get his balance, Kaoru kicked Kisaki between the legs hard. Kisaki screamed from pain, but Kaoru didn’t even flinch.

“I am dead serious, so you better remember that. Do not ever again touch Kyo! Ever!”

Kaoru released Kisaki from his grip and stared down at him for another second. Then he left, throwing one last hatred filled look at his former band mate.

***

Kyo finally took out his phone to check the hours, but the only thing he saw was seven missed calls from Shinya. Before going to hotel he called Shinya and told him where he was going. He wanted at least somebody to know where he was, in case something bad happened. But Shinya guessed too soon why he was going there and Kyo had to hang up on him. Obviously Shinya was worried and tried to reach him for the past few hours.

Kyo sighed and called Shinya back. He didn’t need to wait long, Shinya picked up after a couple of seconds.

“Kyo?”

“Yeah, it’s me…”

“Where are you?”

“In some park.”

“What are you doing there? Go home! Kaoru is going crazy looking for you all over Tokyo!”

“W-what? Please tell me you didn’t say anything to Kaoru!”

“I did, Kyo. I’m sorry, but what you were about to do didn’t leave me any choice. I’m just sorry it was too late and Kaoru didn’t stop you.”

“I… Nothing happened, Shinya. I left hotel and I didn’t let him… you know…”

“Really?”

“Yes…”

There was silence for a moment and Kyo thought he heard Shinya release a silent happy laugh.

“What were you thinking even going there, Kyo? No, never mind, we’ll talk about it later, go home now. Kaoru is waiting for you.”

“Right…”

Kyo disconnected the call without saying anything else and with a heavy heart stood up. Until he got home, he tried to imagine what he would say to Kaoru, how would he explain himself, but all sounded foolish. He couldn’t even really understand why he felt so desperate to keep a secret about what happened between him and Kisaki many years ago.

Everything felt foolish and silly now. The only thing he was really afraid was losing Kaoru. And it might happen this time, if Kaoru was finally fed up with Kyo’s lies and weakness.

When Kyo finally got back home, it was very quiet. He took of his shoes and went to the kitchen, where the only light was on. As soon as he saw Kaoru sitting at the table, he stopped, afraid to come closer.

Kaoru’s face was hard and angry, and Kyo shuddered, knowing that it was his fault his lover looked like that.

For a moment they just looked at each other in silence.

“So” Kaoru finally said, his voice sounding much too calm for Kyo’s liking. “Did you enjoy yourself? Was he good?”

“Kaoru, I…”

“You what? Enjoyed it better with him than with me?”

“I didn’t let him… I mean, nothing happened. I realized I couldn’t go through it and left without him touching me in any way.”

Silence fell in the kitchen and Kyo waited for Kaoru’s reaction. When there was none, he finally lifted his eyes and looked at his lover. Kaoru was staring at him, looking somehow tired and vulnerable.

“Explain yourself. Tell me everything that you kept a secret from me concerning Kisaki. Once and for all, don’t give me any lies, don’t keep anything a secret. Tell me the whole truth.”

And Kyo did. He slowly neared the table, sat in front of Kaoru and told him all that happened with Kisaki. And when he finished, Kaoru was silent again.

“I swear to you, Kaoru, nothing happened today. I realized it was stupid of me to even consider agreeing to his conditions.”

“That was yet another lie you fed me, Kyo” Kaoru said, sounding displeased. “How many more secrets like that have you got?”

“None! I swear to you, Kaoru, none!”

“If you would have told me all of this when we started dating, I would have known why you couldn’t force yourself to have sex with me, we wouldn’t have split up, many things would have been so much easier.”

“I know, Kaoru… I’m really sorry…”

Kaoru sighed and fell silent again.

“Are you mad at me?” Kyo asked carefully, looking at his lover.

“I am” Kaoru nodded. “But at the same time I understand your fears as well. What you did today was stupid beyond belief, but what happened when we were still in La Sadies – I can understand that. I’m really sorry you thought we could kick you out of the band and the only way for you to stay in was submit to Kisaki’s will, but I can understand that.

But after all of this… Kyo, it is really hard for me to trust you.”

Kyo lowered his head, feeling sick in his stomach.

“All of what I did was because I never loved anyone in my life as much as I love you. And I didn’t want to lose you. But when going to the hotel’s room with Kisaki and realized, even as much as I loved you, I could never let Kisaki use me again. Not even for you. I’m sorry you had to know this through these circumstances, but I promise you, there’s nothing else I’m keeping a secret from you. Nothing at all.”

Kyo felt Kaoru take his hand and he looked Kaoru in the eyes. He was relieved to find Kaoru smiling.

“I love you too, Kyo. And I’m so happy you stood up for yourself and didn’t let Kisaki use you. Even if it took you too long to realize that.”

Kaoru lifted Kyo’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

“You’re mine. Mine only and don’t ever forget that.”

Kyo’s face broke into a wide smile.

There was not a single word in these two sentences that he would ever even think of disagreeing.