The Perfect Guy

“Jordan you have to go” Chad said in frustration as he sat on the bed
“The hell I do” Jordan said from his prone position
“We came all the way to New York for you to perform damn it” Chad all but screamed down at him.
“I don’t give a fuck what we came for I am not doing it” Jordan said with a vicious grin
“J, listen” Joe began “I know this is hard to deal with but we have a commitment”
“Fuck commitment, Fuck shows, fuck life and fuck you guys, get the hell out” Jordan said rolling over.
Joe made a motion to the door with his head at Chad.
“I will make your excuses then” Chad said to his back “but I won’t do it again”
“Looks like you won’t have a lot to do then” Jordan said with a satisfied grin.
Chad let out a frustrated scream and walked out.
Joe walked over to the bed and sat down.
“What the hell are you still doing here” Jordan asked not even bothering to look at him.
“Listen J, we have been through a lot of shit together and we will get through this” Joe said patting his arm.
“Save your fucking sympathy for someone who give a shit” Jordan said rolling over
Joe pushed to his feet angrily “Well you know what, if you want to throw your entire life and career away on a damn mistake that you made rather than try to fix it then go the hell on” Joe spat out at him “I can’t make you be a man” he said as he headed out the door.
Jordan rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He felt so lost and alone. He could feel a gaping hole in his heart growing bigger and there was little he could do to stop it. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number in desperation.
“Hey you’ve reached Kristy with Z International, sorry I missed you but leave all the usual stuff and I will get back with you” The beep sounded in his ear.
“Kristy, look I know this is messed up but I am going to fix it” he sighed “Just give me a chance and it will be all better I promise” he all but pleaded. He let out a frustrated grunt and closed the phone. This was no good. She wasn’t talking to him and probably wouldn’t until he actually made good on his word. He sighed. He couldn’t perform. How could he go out there with a hole through him. Why would he bother even walking out there when he knew that she wouldn’t be out there, wouldn’t be supporting him. He sighed deeply. This was no good. He couldn’t just lay here and wallow in his own shame and guilt. It had been his fault. He had no one to blame but him. He wished he could take it all back. He wished he could go back and never make that comment about her. He angrily pounded his fists into the bed. That wouldn’t make it better and he knew it. He had fucked this up by thinking for one second that she would always be there no matter what. He was such an idiot. How could he have taken her for granted so badly. He had to know where she was. He walked out into the living room and was shocked to see Bubba sitting on the sofa.
“What are you doing here?” He asked as he leaned on the door jam
“Keeping up with you” Bubba said not looking up from the tv
“I’m not going anywhere so you can go with the guys” Jordan said dismissively
“and leave you here to jump out a window, no dice” Bubba said with an amused look in his eye.
Jordan couldn’t help but laugh “am I that bad” he said flopping down on the couch beside him
“Pretty much” Bubba said light hearted
“I just don’t know what to do” Jordan said looking at his hands.
“Yeah you do and you will do it when you are ready” Bubba said
“I guess” Jordan shrug with a deep sigh “I just wish I knew where she was and if she was ok”
“The Uk”
“What” Jordan asked jerking around
“She changed her ticket to the UK” Bubba said
“Why?” Jordan asked again
“Do you even have to ask” Bubba said looking over at him with an exhausted look
“Damn” was all Jordan could say. He wondered if she would ever come back at all.