night time talks

Kelly's pov





Kelly threw around the pillows as she prepared the large guest room for Carrie's parents. She couldn't believe five minutes home and they were already back to fighting. It's not like she couldn't see Carrie's point but Kelly couldn't just not buy the kids what they wanted for Christmas, she couldn't go back on her promise. She could feel her wife making her way up the stairs, Kelly closed her eyes tightly preparing herself for a fight.



''Need a hand?.....'Carrie's voice was light as she walked into the room.



'Thanks........'



'Guess Ash will be bunking with Jason this year.........'



'Yea.......' Kelly kept her head down as she fixed the pillows.



'Are you going to talk to me?......'Carrie's voice remained light as she slid her hand over Kelly's. She pulled her down till they were both sitting on the bed side by side.



'I don't want to fight.......' Kelly's voice was small, afraid if she spoke any louder it would sound like shouting to Carrie.



'Neither do I...........but i'd like you to see my point here........' Kelly gripped her hand tighter as she nodded. She took a deep breath before trying to speak again.



'I remember my Tenth Christmas.......'Kelly began. ' It was so cold that year.........but mom didn't want to put the heating on so early in the morning in case we ran out before night came.......she knew it would be colder then........' Carrie turned to look at her wife but she kept her eyes down, focusing fully on the floor. ' It was so cold me mom and Jimmy all sat huddled together opening out gifts before church.......'Kelly took a deep breath preparing herself for what she was going to say next. ' before church mom promised me I could call Jason and dad.......wish them a merry Christmas........Alyssa had called the night before............When Jason got on the phone he started telling me about all the people that were coming........dads wife's family.......i could hear all the laughter in the background ........could hear dad laughing...........'Kelly swallowed the lump in her throat as she took another deep breath. ' When we got to the church we kept our usually seats.........just in front of us were this family........they only ever came at christmas........but every christmas there seemed to be one more there.........there was about six kids.......the mom and dad always looks so happy...........i would look at Mom and Jimmy....they always seemed so tired.....life was never easy for them.....but this family all seemed happy......and together.......my brother and sister were across the country.....i didn't even know them but this family stayed together........i just....i just never got over that......'Kelly's voice was breaking now, a lone tear falling from her eyes. Carrie softly wiped the tear away with her thumb' it never seemed fair.........why couldn't I have that........why did I have to be alone.......'Kelly couldn't talk any more as she let the tears flow freely down her face. Carrie quickly pulled her wife to her holding her as tight as she could.



'I wish I had known you then........'Carrie tried to keep her voice strong for Kelly. 'You would never have been alone if I knew you then........'



'Being alone didn't both me that much........i was used to it.....'Kelly snuggled into Carrie more. ' But these six kids knew each other.......they knew everything about each other.......i didn't know anything about my brother and sister.......they were strangers........i hated it.......'



'I know....'Carrie whispered.



'I bet your Christmas mornings were filled with gifts and laughter........'Carrie blushed, Kelly was right, the underwoods may have not had a lot of money but Christmas time was always good for them.



'Yea......' Carrie couldn't say anything else.



'I guess I just go over board at Christmas time........i don't know if it's making up for my lack of gifts or if I just don't want the kids feeling even an ounce of what I felt every Christmas morning...........i just.......'Kelly struggled to think of something to say.



'I get it........'Carrie whispered. ' I understand now.......'Carrie left a small kiss on the side of Kelly's head before she stood up. 'But ive got a better idea than spoiling kids.......'



'What?......'



'Two ideas actually.......'Carrie sat back down pulling Kelly into her arms again. 'First.....we start by spoiling each other........'Carrie smirked as Kelly raised an eyebrow.



'What kinky thing is running through your mind?.....'



'Im just saying.....we only have a few years left before the patter of tiny cowboy boots start coming...........why not spoil each other first.........'



'Cowboy boots?......' Kelly smirked.



'Baby you know our kids will be totally country..........' Kelly giggled as she nodded, she loved talking to Carrie about having kids now. She loved thinking about the future.



'And idea two?.....'



'Well your spoiling kids that are already spoilt............why not find some kids that aren't........'



'Like a kids home or something?......'



'Yea.....'



'we could donate toys?.......'Kelly was beginning to get excited.



'Or visit them.......that way you can enjoy watching them open their gifts.......' Kelly sat up on her knees on the bed.



'Can I spend more than twenty thousand?,..........'



'Like I could stop you.....'Carrie rolled her eyes as she felt Kelly push her out the way as she shouted about finding the nearest toy store.