This Time Around

The Group One and Two episodes went without instance, and I was pleased with America's choices in Fantasia, Diana, Camille, and Matt. Simon and I fell back into our natural sync as soon as we were in front of the cameras, and it was like nothing more had ever happened between us. I was amazed at how comfortable we were being 'just friends', although there were many times when I wanted nothing more than to pull him in the janitors closet and feel his lips on mine.

I was actually quite surprised when Ryan called to invite me to watch the Group Three show at his place when it aired the following Tuesday. Normally that was just a guys thing, but he was having a small gathering for us judges and some of the other American Idol crew members. I giggled when he told me the viewing party was Shana's idea. After talking for a few minutes about their relationship, I told him I was sure I'd be at the party. He casually mentioned that Simon would be there also, which brought a smile to my face, since I hadn't seen him since we filmed the episode.

I took a great deal of time getting ready for the party. Knowing Simon would be there had a lot to do with my desire to look nice, despite the fact that Terri would probably be there also. I decided on a light pink halter-top with a plunging neckline and jeans that fit snugly in all the right places. I applied a minimal amount of makeup and fixed my hair so that a few pieces of my bangs fell into my eyes, knowing that was one of the things that drove Simon crazy.

I mentally laughed at myself when I took a final look in the mirror. You're acting like you're in high school again Abdul, I thought to myself as I checked to make sure everything was perfect. Slipping my shoes on, I left quickly and tried to ignore the nervous butterflies that were in my stomach.

I arrived at Ryan's a few minutes late, not wanting to seem overly anxious to be there, and the disappointment set in when I found that Simon wasn't there. I was greeted by everyone with a warm welcome, and I walked over to the kitchen where Shana and Erika were preparing the refreshments.

"Where's Simon?" I asked, doing my best to sound nonchalant.

"I don't know," Shana responded, "Last we heard he was coming."

"Yeah, he would have called if he couldn't make it," Erika chimed in, giving me a knowing smile, "Don't worry, he'll be here."

She handed me a plate of fruit to carry into the living room and I placed it on the center table and took my place on one of the oversized couches as the show began. The lights were turned off and I took a look around the room as everyone else took a seat beside their respective dates, and couldn't help but feel a pain of loneliness. Suddenly the doorbell rang, and a surge of excitement shot through me as I saw Simon come through the door- -alone. He took a seat beside me on the couch, and I gave him a warm smile, debating whether or not to ask where Terri was.

I watched with a smile as Simon and I playfully flirted on the television, and a grin crept on my face as I watched Charly take her place on stage, knowing my kiss on his cheek was soon to be aired.

"I think you're right," I slouched into the couch as I heard how sensual my voice sounded as I pulled Simon to me, kissing him on the cheek.

"You know, I actually quite wished you would have kissed me on the mouth," Simon said as he whispered hotly into my ear. "It would make for very interesting television."

He nipped quickly on my earlobe before moving back to his position on the couch, and my eyes darted around the room quickly, hoping no one saw our interactions. Luckily, everyone seemed to be focused on the show.

"That's not the only thing it would make interesting," I replied, trying not to acknowledge the goosebumps he had given me.

"I think I'm going to step out," I told Simon as a commercial came on and a light buzz of different conversations filled the room, "I need some fresh air."

"I'll go with you," he said, standing up. "I need a cigarette."

Hoping to go unnoticed, we quietly slipped outside, making our way to the back porch of Ryan's house.

I took a seat on one of the porch chairs as Simon lit up. I held back a cough as the cigarette smoke drifted my way. I hated the habit and desperately wished Simon, of all people, would give it up. However, I resisted nagging him about it, for the millionth time, as I could tell there was something more important on his mind. I knew it probably had something to do with Terri, so despite my earlier attempts to resist asking where she was, I jumped right in.

"Where is Terri tonight?" I asked gently, hoping my question wouldn't cause him to explode.

He took a long drag before answering my question.

"We had a fight," he replied, blowing the smoke out with one long breath.

I mentally kicked myself for having a sense of happiness and hope when he said that.

"Oh," I responded uncomfortably. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "She asked me tonight if I would consider settling down and having kids with her anytime soon." He said, an edge of annoyance in his voice. "She's always jokingly made these comments in the past, and I always blew her off, telling her to get a puppy, but tonight she was serious. I told her that I didn't want kids, I'm too old for them, you know? I don't want to be in my sixties when my child is graduating. And if I was to settle down, I just don't see it being with her."

He paused, looking up at me, and I nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"I'd always considered what we have to be a very casual, and tonight I just felt like she was pressuring me to make our relationship something it's not. So I stormed out and told her if she wanted kids she should go find someone else, because I'm not the man for her."

As he finished talking, Randy stuck his head out the sliding glass door.

"There you two are! I've been looking everywhere for ya'll, the show is back on." He said, looking back and forth between the two of us. "I didn't interrupt anything did I?" he asked cautiously.

"No, we'll be right there," I said with a smile, standing up. Simon snubbed his cigarette into the ground with his foot and placed his hand in the small of my back, leading me back inside.

We both took our places on the couch, Simon sitting noticeably closer to me this time as we continued watching the show. It was quite distracting, his wonderful smell and the closeness of him made my head spin. All of my senses were heightened, and it was difficult for me to remember that we were in a room full of people.

Why can't he just be single? I thought to myself with a sigh, admiring his profile as I pretended to watch the show.

I stopped myself as I realized what I was doing. You're supposed to be over this, I thought to myself. If he wanted you, he would have gotten rid of Terri a long time ago.

The show eventually ended, and one by one, the crowd dwindled until Randy, Erika, Shana, Ryan, Simon, and myself were the only one's left.

"Well guys, we hate to run, but we gotta get home to the kids - they have school tomorrow and all," Erika said as she stood up and took Randy's hand.

I glanced at my watch as they said their good-byes; shocked to see it was quickly nearing midnight.

"I should get going too," I heard Simon say, standing to shake hands with Ryan and Randy.

"Me too," I said quickly. I grabbed my coat and my pocketbook, searching for my keys.

"You're all leaving?" Ryan asked with a slight disappointment.

"Yeah," I giggled. "We're not as young as you are Ryan, it's past our bedtimes," I said with a wink.

"Well, I will see you guys on the set tomorrow," Ryan said as he and Shana walked us to the door. I watched with a smile as he placed his arm casually around her shoulders, and made a mental note to tell him later how happy I was for him.

"Yeah! For our live show," Simon said with mock excitement. I playfully hit him in the arm.

"For as much as you're getting paid, you could be a little more excited," I said to him in jest.

He just winked at me in response and placed his hand in the small of my back, leading me out the front door. By the time we made it to our cars, Randy and Erika had left, and it was just the two of us.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I said casually as I unlocked my car and placed my things in the backseat.

"Shit!" I heard him exclaim as he slammed a fist on the door of his car.

"Simon," I asked, "you okay?"

"Yeah." He replied with a sigh as he turned around and leaned against his car. "But I locked my keys in the car."

"Oh, well do you have a spare?" I asked him.

"Yes, but it's at home, and I'm NOT calling Terri to come bring it to me tonight. And it's too late to call a locksmith," he said with a disgruntled moan.

"I hate to ask you to do this, but is there any way you could drive me to a hotel? I just don't feel like going home tonight," he asked hesitantly.

"It's not a problem," I replied sweetly, "but I'm not taking you to a hotel, you're coming home with me."