Moped Series

Title: A Moped Best Served Cold
Author: Angelface
Disclaimer: I don't own them; VinnieMac does. If not they do. They didn't do this. I'm not making profit.
Rating: R, just for language
Content: Bad language. Slash.
AU-Universe-info: The AU of the infamous Moped series magically morphed into current WWE setting (after Armageddon 07). Don’t ask me how that works. It’s Magic! Moped series back-story stays intact.

Summary: “One day I'm gonna get them all back for this.” – Matt, The Moped Returns. (‘It suspects nothing’)

Spoilers: Armageddon 07 and possibly the Raw after that.

Notes#1: Reviving old penname and old story arc for the lulz. I did it all for the lulz. Also: while following Raw regularly I have no idea whatsoever what’s actually going on on Smackdown. Kthx.

Notes#2: This follows up to “The Moped Returns” which follows up "Moped On Elmstreet" which follows up to "The moped of my dreams", which follows up to "I'm in love and I have a new moped". I call it the moped-series.

Notes#3: There's no moped in the fic. This is (as of yet) the last one in the series. And yeah, it’s still a parody, although I’m not sure how many people actually understood that.

C&C as always highly appreciated

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My god, Jeffy really did it! He really beat Triple H to become number one contender at the Royal Rumble!

Jeff beat Triple H.

Triple H.

Hunter Hearst-Helmsley.

Who magically really has changed over the years. You see, now he is a family man.

When at the 15th anniversary Raw I saw Lita again it all came back. Over five years of therapy couldn’t erase what had happened.

She was pretty, wasn’t she? I hope she is happy now with who she is.

As for Hunter… and Jeff… I guess they are happy now with who they are…

One by one all the feelings from years back wash over me again. Shame, shock, humiliation, despair and finally naked rage.

I had sworn revenge on all of them.

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Randy's POV
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No, no, I don’t want to hear any of that shit. I am the damn champion, dammit. My God what is wrong with people nowadays?

Everyone, really everyone thought they needed in one way or another comment on the Swanton Bomb. No, you don’t, thanks.

I’m entirely unaffected by tonight’s loss. I’m still the goddamned champion after all.

And at Royal Rumble I only have to wrestle against that Hardy kid. Honestly there are quite a lot of people in this company that would be worth worrying about, but not that punk.

When I returned from the ring I found a note in my bag.

“Meet me at your hotel lobby 4 am tonight. I got something you want”

I’m kind of curious. It’s probably only a ring rat and I’m a married man now, thank you very much. Also what could a possibly fat and drastically underdressed and possibly under aged girl have that I really want?

Also it could be someone again trying to sell me drugs. Just because I sometimes look a little baked on TV doesn’t mean I’m a stoner, it just means that I didn’t sleep that much.

I’m a busy man for God’s sake, I have no time for this shit.

And if it’s someone entirely differently? Ah… the curiousity…


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Matt’s POV
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At 1.30 am I arrived at the lobby. A bit early, I know.

I just wanted to have glimpse at the mayhem and be prepared.

The mayhem that apparently doesn’t happen anymore. You see people behaving like normal human beings. Hunter and Shawn for example were sitting at the bar, sipping soda and exchanging tips on how to change diapers properly.

Hunter even greeted me briefly with a warm smile.

This is different.

Ric Flair was talking to some dude introducing the possibilities of his financial company.

Everything was so normal. Like perfectly normal people. But I know, I know the little demons these people truly are.

So while I was pretending to not know, I briefly chatted with Jericho. About his return and how much everything had changed in the time he was gone.

He was apparently really happy to be back and that now it finally was all about wrestling and not “orgies and wrestling in-between” and how it was cool that now finally the hard working guys that never got much recognition get their time in the spotlight. He congratulated me on Jeff’s win and excused himself. Said he needed his ‘beauty sleep’ and tossed me a playful wink.

I didn’t like it.

An hour before it finally drew near four even Flair had left to go to bed and I was sitting in the lobby all alone.

It had me thinking. What if they really changed? No, it couldn’t possibly be. And even if, I was still going to punish them.

And he would help me.

Coming out of the elevator was a yawning Randy Orton. He glanced around the lobby, saw me , rolled his eyes and turned on his heel.

“Wait!” I called out as he was about to leave again.

“What is it Hardy, don’t waste my time.” He glared at me somewhat tired.

“You’ll have to face Jeff at the Royal Rumble. I can be of great help!”

He sighed and frowned for a moment. Mumbled something along the lines of “at least you are not under aged”, I ignored it for the moment.

In an elaborate gesture he was pointing at himself and spoke very slowly as though he was talking to a retard.

“Legend Killer. Me.”

“Yeah, but…” he raised a hand to cut me off.

“Champion. Legend Killer.” He pointed at himself again.

“Come on Orton, you don’t wanna say you’re not going to accept my help just because you’ve got your head to far up your ass, are you?”

He sighed again.

“Ok, whatever. Just spill it.”

“Hey, you know I’m going to betray my own brother here for you, at least you could be a little excited about that!”

“Mostly I’m just tired, it’s four am, you know?”

A dry laugh escaped me. “I can sympathize. Ok, I’ll help you to beat Jeffy and than we’ll destroy Triple H together, that’s the deal.”

He yawned again. “Done that before, don’t need your help, not interested.” He turned to go again.

“No I mean really DESTROY!”

“Go home Hardy.”

Ok, I know I may have made an ass out of myself, but my god, with all that I’ve been through anyone would.

Randy was absolutely not interested in anything I had to say whatsoever. Even when I was for the first time really ready to tell someone all that happened with Lita, Jeff, the Undertaker and most of all Hunter he just said he wasn’t interested.

Who does that arrogant prick thing he is?!

After trying to talk to him, even following him to his room, I returned to my own room and now I can’t sleep. Sounds familiar, huh?

What the fuck happened to this damn madhouse?

It’s like they make you insane like the rest then suddenly everyone turns sane and you’re the only lunatic left. Only that I’m not insane. I could never be as batshit insane as these people.

The next morning I woke up to someone knocking harshly at my door.

Not really awake I opened the door. A concerned face greeted me. It was Hunter’s.

“G’morning” I mumbled surprised.

He frowned a little then raised his head to look me in the eyes, shook his head slightly and finally sighed.

“Good morning Matt. May I come in?”

Far too surprised I simply let him through and closed the door behind him.
He settled on the sofa a concerned look on his face.

“I heard you were here and you seemed to be quite a bit beside yourself”.

Ah, Chris that little fucker must’ve told him I was here. One more to add to the list.

“Yeah, I’m here” I said probably more defensively than I wanted it to sound.

“I’ll go straight to the point, if you don’t mind” Yeah, I wonder what you of all people have to say.

“No I don’t mind”

“I can understand that you can’t forget what happened” his tone is sincere and concerned. “I always wanted to approach you because of this, but somehow I didn’t.”

He bows his head and runs his hand through his hair.

“Go on” I slowly feel something turn inside of me. Maybe, just maybe he really has changed, and we can talk about this like adults and settle this once and for all.

“You just seemed content at Smackdown, and I really didn’t want to cause you any trouble, God knows I caused you so much grief already” he honestly seems sad.

I slowly allow myself to sit down beside him. “It was all like a nightmare that never seemed to end” I hear my own voice cracking.

“I can understand that. Those were crazy times. But they are over now.”

“Really?” he already got under my skin with what he said, I just need this last bit of reassurance to finally let it all go.

“Yeah” he nods and puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Oh God…” I feel how these old feelings finally start to dissolve inside of me. All of that was horrible and maybe, just maybe it’s time to let it go once and for all.

“I’m sorry” Hunter looks at me and there is *something* in his eyes that seems a bit off. But, my God, an apology from that man, who would’ve thought I’d live to see that day?

“I’m really sorry, Matt” his hand comes up to cup my cheek “…but, you see there are really other things I have to do now.”

That one seemed quite out of place?


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Hunter’s POV
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The fact of the matter is there simply isn’t enough of me for everyone. Sad but true.

So after tonight’s Raw I went straight to the hotel and chatted with Shawn about diapers of all things. We do that sometimes so all those lusty souls around are scared off a little. Works not too bad.

Especially after the recent debacle with Jeff. God, that one’s sensitive. Yeah friendship, sure Jeffy. You just enjoyed too much of my goods and now think that it was serious. Tsk.

So while I was minding my own business and was being checked out by everyone, meanwhile trying to decide whom to take with me for the night (ah, the choices…) I saw someone I haven’t seen in ages.

Matt Hardy.

Yes, that one that was always so desperate for me. And so shy. Even when he was chatting with Jericho he couldn’t help but throw me one of those “take me now”-glances every once in a while. He wants me.

And of course Jericho noticed. Pretended not to. He wants me, too.

Later that night – I was just about to go to sleep – that kid Randy got me out of bed again. Almost woke Jeff, too.

“Trips, that Matt Hardy guy is plotting something, didn’t really want to know what. I thought I give you a heads-up.” His deadpan voice is trying to lure me in, but not this time kid.

“You could at least say thanks” he snarls as he already turned and went his way. Not this time Ran, not this time. He wants me.

“Ah, Randy, I give proper thanks another time, there is just so little of me and so much of all of you…”

“Don’t bother. I don’t think I even want to know what you are talking about…”
Yeah, definitely wants me. Bad.

I debate whether to finally give in to Randy, or to go to Matty. Instead I went back to bed, saving Matt Hardy for the next morning. You people have to learn that I’m not there whenever one of you calls.

So the next morning I had a nice breakfast and felt refreshed enough to deal with Princess Hardy II.

I went to his room and immediately I felt the old tension between us, but in an intensity … it spoke volumes about the years that that young man was starved for my attention.

He looks at me, like this was a dream come true, as though he didn’t quite believe I was really there… I like an apprehensive lover.

“G’morning” he mumbles shyly.

I took a good look at him and he looked as fabulous as ever. I decided to play it cool to tease him a bit.
“Good morning Matt. May I come in?”

He let’s me in and quickly closed the door behind him. I sat down while he paced around nervously. Who can blame him? Anyone would be nervous to have the real life Triple H sitting on their hotel room sofa.

“I heard you were here and you seemed to be quite a bit beside yourself”.

“Yeah, I’m here” he said, so much longing in his voice that it could almost break your heart.

“I’ll go straight to the point, if you don’t mind” I had realized that while teasing seemed to be a good idea at first that I hadn’t foreseen the extent of my Matty missing me.

“No I don’t mind” he shyly glances at me. Awww.

“I can understand that you can’t forget what happened I always wanted to approach you because of this, but somehow I didn’t.” I don’t know how I’ll possibly explain this in a nice away. The thing is, that there is only one of me, you see?

“Go on”

“You just seemed content at Smackdown, and I really didn’t want to cause you any trouble, God knows I caused you so much grief already” Yes, I saw how bad you wanted it to be like it has been and how much your body language practically begged me to come and make it all better and finally go and do what we never got to do…

“It was all like a nightmare that never seemed to end” his voice cracks.

“I can understand that. Those were crazy times. But they are over now.” At least my lost puppy made an effort to contact me, I can’t ignore his begging any longer.

“Really?” Oh does he have to be so emotional about this? I mean, seriously I understand that not being taken by me must be frustrating, but…

“Yeah” I think I can do him once our twice before lunch.

“Oh God…” He’s on the brick of tears now. Being as emotionally aware as I usually am, which is enormously I understand now, that in his condition it probably will only be once before lunch. Or we’ll have lunch late. In any case I should’ve come to him earlier, he’s become a mess without me.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Matt, but, you see there are really other things I have to do now.” I want him to understand that I have a life, too. Does he even understand how hard it is to be me?

He looks at me irritated. Yeah, Matt, it is *damn hard* to be me.

“But let’s forget about that now and let’s get to the good part” I roll on top of him and my hand slides between his legs easily.

He looks at me in shock.

Yes, finally Matt, you are getting what you wanted all along…

~*~----------------------------@ End @----------------------------~*~

A/n: So if you think that this part compared to the other parts is like save_us.y2j compared to the old Jericho then I got two words for ya:

“Oh well.”