Let's get it on

CHAPTER FIVE


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It took Justin a few seconds, but as soon as he grasped what Britney had said, he couldn't help but ask: "When was this?"

Sighing, Britney began pacing once more; trying to get all the facts out before she clamed up, "A couple of months ago....while I was touring Europe. A uh..a few of my backups dancers were going out clubbing one night, and seeing as how I wasn't doing anything, I went with them."

Continuing to watch Britney pace in front of him, Justin continued to remain, oddly enough, calm; not bothering to do anything but ask Brit questions.

"Who was he?"

Stopping her pacing at these words, Britney looked at Justin for a second, before calmly leaning up against her, or better yet Justin's, dresser; preparing herself for Justin's reaction. A reaction that she knew was coming.

"An old friend of mine."

Figures she wouldn't give me the name. With that thought in mind, Justin nodded his head, as if to say I respect that, before asking another question, "How did it happen?"

Sighing once again, Britney tucked a small strand of hair behind her ear, before opening her mouth to start from the beginning, "I don't know really..we just started talking. And then....one thing led to another, and it just happened. And then it happened again the next night."

Feeling as if he just got punched in his stomach, Justin winced; knowing he should brace himself for the rest of the conversation, "How many times after that?"

Moving her eyes from Justins', Britney stared at the floor between the two, before saying: "Once more..twice in Europe, and then once again when I got back to the states."

He must be in the entertainment business...figures she would only fuck with someone who had money.

With that thought in mind, surprisingly enough, instead of getting angrier, Justin just stared at Britney; with a questioning look in his eyes, "Did you fuck him here?"

Wincing at his words, Britney shook her head, before closing her eyes; feeling the tears, that she knew would come, start to fall down her face, "Never here. And never again, after that first time back in the states."

"And why is that?" Justin asked, hearing, rather than feeling, his cold tone take over him, "Did you grow a guilty conscience between the lies you told me?"

Trying to wipe the tears away, Britney tried to look at Justin; to show him that she was telling the truth. But found her vision blurry at the moment. "I..I just couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't deceive the person I loved.....love."

Moving his eyes from Britney's, Justin shook his head; wanting to question her love for him. But wanting to punish himself, in a sick sort've way, as well. "So, why then? Wasn't I good enough for you? Or did I, quote-unquote, not satisfy you?"

"No." Britney said, in a muffled tone, before taking her hands away from her eyes, "You were good enough. And you did satisfy me. More than you'll ever know.....I just, God Justin, when I think about it...when I think about how I looked foreword to seeing him after I returned from Europe, I just...I just don't even know why myself. He didn't mean anything to me...and he means even less now. You have to believe me."

Clenching his hands together, Justin inwardly asked why. Why did he-the person she had cheated on, not once, but three times-have to believe a damn thing she said?

After thinking about it for a second, he came to the conclusion that the answer was simple, really: there was no reason to believe her.

"Why are you telling me this now? After all that has been said and done, why are you telling me this now?"

Britney now clenched her own hands together, "Because you needed an explanation. You needed to know that I was the one who caused our breakup. And that I was the one, who despite not wanting to get my heart broken in the beginning, ended up breaking your heart. All over some meaningless fling."

Not knowing what to say to that, Justin sighed; knowing with Britney saying she had cheated on him, he had become angry. With her saying he had to believe her, he was shocked. And now, with her saying it was her fault that they broke up, and it was her fault that his heart-sans the small part of it that had been left at the Ramada Inn a couple of nights ago-seemed to be breaking. He just felt numb. Numb and left without any emotion, whatsoever.

Looking up from the floor, Justin locked eyes with Britney, first for a second, then for a minute, and then for what felt like an eternity. Afterwards finally saying: "I think you should leave."

Stalling, Britney nodded; part of her knowing that Justin was going to ask her to do that-the other part of her hoping he'd change his mind. But knowing he wouldn't, before she could make herself leave, she just had to say one more thing.

"For what it's worth, Justin. I love you. And I mean that..despite everything I've done to prove that I never did love you in the first place. I've always loved you."

Slightly taken aback by that statement, Justin, not knowing why, stood up as Britney turned to leave. And just as she made a move to walk out the door, he called for her again--just as he had done three days ago when she walked out of his life; saying she wouldn't come back until she felt that she was coming back for the right reasons.

"J....?"

Ignoring the look of confusion that flashed through Brit's eyes, Justin silently took two large steps foreward-putting him smack dab in front of Britney-before leaning down and kissing Brit with as much passion as he could.

Inwardly coming to a conclusion as he did so.

***