He Steals the Image In Her Kiss

My mouth was dry, my body was numb. They were setting up the instruments on stage. I didn't want to perform. I couldn't bare to stand on a stage with not only Mike but Billie Joe as well. My eyes glazed over as Mike brushed my shoulder as he walked past. "Why did he bump into me?? There's plenty of room here." I thought. "1 minute you guys!" Shouted Tre as he ran out on stage and sat behind his drums. "C'mon Gwen!" shouted Billie as he ran onstage and grabbed his guitar. I dragged my legs as I walked to the stage. I fixed the microphone to be at my level and sighed. Then the music bellowed behind me and I held my breath.


I started singing the first line of my newest single along with Billie. I was running across the stage acting crazy and insane. I started feeling comfortable on stage. All the reporters and false stories published meant nothing while I was performing. Mike oddly kept to himself just staying still on stage minus his arms that were playing his bass. Then we flowed into the song "Holiday" Green Day's newest single.


Then Mike stopped playing and started walking towards me. I backed into Billie Joe while trying to avoid Mike. Tre and Billie Joe started playing ferociously to try and take the attention from Mike. It didn't work. Mike grabbed a microphone and shouted "Stop the music!" They didn't. Then Mike got down on one knee and they stopped playing because they were in complete shock. " I know I've messed up a lot in the past. But I love you and I know your the love of my life and I'm asking you now, from the bottom of my heart, will you marry me?"


I ran off stage. I knew it would end up in the tabloids but I didn't care and lord knows I didn't know what to do. I entered my dressing room and just cried. I never understood why Mike would do that. Then I remembered a past time that he asked that question. We were out to eat,all five of us. That five would be Mike, Tre, Billie Joe, Adrienne, and me. This was at the peak of my relationship with Mike and the beginning of the downfall of Billie's with Adrienne.


The dinner was fun. Billie kept talking to me instead of fighting Adrienne back. I now know why he opted for me, he loved me. "Remember that Gwen" I said to myself as I recalled that night. Then Mike started acting, weird, and kept starting to say something and stopping himself until he finally just spit it out. "Marry me!" he nearly screamed. "What?" I asked.
"Marry me, please."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Dear Jesus..I mean wow..really?"
"Yeah."
"Hey how about we order dessert." Billie interrupted. I turned towards him and smiled and nodded my head in agreement. Then Mike shot Billie Joe the most threatening look. "Um , after I talk to Mike I'll order something." I said and pulled Mike aside. "I'm only 21. I'm not sure I'm ready for marriage."
"I understand." he said with a smile on his face. Turns out he had been cheating all the way back then even. "Remember that Gwen." I said to myself again. Then that night Mike and I went back to his place. He kept moving his hands down my pants and I kept pulling them out. He'd just laugh as if it was funny. Eventually I gave in and let him have his way with me.


I laid under him shaking. His breath smelled of whiskey and vodka. I just closed my eyes and pictured myself somewhere else as he made "love" to me. It wasn't love. He made sure he got all the pleasure as he rode me as if I was a doll that had no feelings. As if I wasn't real. I felt it..I felt the pain. Tears fell down my cheeks because it burned, stung, he went in farther then I thought possible, too far. After he was done he told me to go home. I did and checked myself. I was bleeding pretty badly. I felt weak. I was cold and had a fever. I was terrified of Mike.


After I remembered all of that I ran to Billie's dressing room and opened the doors without knocking. He was getting changed. I slowly walked towards him while taking off my top. "What are you doing babe?" he asked as his eyes bulged. I kissed him lightly and said "I hate him."
"Who? Mike?"
"I never told you about the night I lost my virginity did I?"
"No..." I told Billie Joe the entire story. He just kissed me when I finished."Is that the only person you did that with." he asked.
"Yeah."
"So that's your only memory of sex?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Billie kissed me and said "Can I change that?" He worked his way down to my neck."Let me help you get over him."


I shook my head yes and leaned back onto the couch. He got into the familiar position and made his way inside of me. He was slow and watched all of my reactions to what he did. He quickly learned what I liked and went with it. He was romantic and sweet, not a familiar thing. Billie talked me through the entire thing asking me if it hurt and if I wanted to stop. All of my answers were no. For the first time I liked sex. He was rubbing against one particular spot constantly and it made me shake under him in a good way. I felt his warm breath on my neck. It smelled like Altoids. I just smiled. I knew that from now on it would be different when Billie came but kept going to make sure I came too. It wasn't all about him.


"What were you thinking about?" I asked as I was comforted by his arms around me. "When?"
"When we were, you know."
"Oh, making love?" he said with a raised eyebrow and smile.
"Yeah." I giggled.
"How fucking lucky I am and.....how damn sexy I am. Just kidding..I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"I know, it's more of a curse than a gift really." he sighed.