A Secret Between Us

Chapter Four: Questions

Mimi’s POV

“Did I ever tell you that you’re my best friend?” I asked pulling Angel out into the hallway. Roger passed out in our bedroom. She had walked in before Roger caught Mark and I kissing.

“Of course, chica!” She threw her arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. Angel is so adorable when she’s drunk. “Well Meems, I hope evvverything goes good with the boys,” she hiccuped, “I think me and Tommy should gooooo.”

Oh yeah. She was wasted.

“Okay!” I said giving her a small kiss on the side of her mouth, “Be careful.” She was already dragging Collins down stairs.

Angel smiled, “Always, Baby, always.”

I watched them stumble all over themselves down the stairs until they had left, I went back into the loft. Roger’s snoring could be heard even with the door shut. Mark looked over at me from the kitchen. His cheeks were red, I’m sure Collins was ragging on him about Maureen. If only he knew......

He smiled shyly at me, “Do you want a tea or something?”

“Sure.” I looked down at the floor. I want to smack myself for being so stupid. I was still in the school girl out fit from the show at the Cat Scratch Club! No wonder he’d been so turned on. “I’m going to change clothes real quick, ok?” I went into our bedroom, I didn’t have any clothes in their loft except for a few pairs of mesh tights and lace. I grabbed up a pair of Roger’s boxers, one of his big t-shirts then rejoined him out in the livingroom. We didn’t say anything to each other, he didn’t look at me until he set the tiny cup in front of me.

“Careful, it’s hot.”

The warm cup felt good against my fingers, “Thank you.” I said taking the cup to my lips, it was sweet. “It’s good.”

He smiled and sat down at the table across from me. “I love tea, always have.”

I was dying to know what he was thinking. I could still feel the press of his lips against mine, the intensity of his returned kiss driving me mad! “What happens now, Mark?”

He tapped the side of the cup with his index finger, “What do you mean?”

“Good friends who occasionally kiss? You’re my boyfriend’s best friend.” I felt myself chewing on my lower lip.

Mark didn’t say anything for a while. “Mimi?”

“Huh?”

“Have you ever wanted children?”

His question caught me off guard I almost choked on the tea I’d just taken into my mouth, “What?”

“Just what I said, have you ever wanted children?”

In all honesty, I hadn’t thought about it, not recently anyway. “I don’t know. Maybe. Why? Do you?” An interesting change of subject.

He smiled, was that sadness in his eyes? “I’ve thought about it. A little.”

“Yeah?” I inched closer to him.

Mark nodded, “My older sister had a daughter fresh out of high school, she got married behind our mom’s back but her husband is this great provider so it ended up being good for her.” He stopped and blushed, “I’m talking too much.”

I smiled, “Not at all, please go on.”

He drank his tea, I studied him unlike I’d ever studied a person. His eyes half closed behind his glasses, turning his head back, I watched his throat move as the warm tea flowed down it. When his eyes met mine again I looked away.

“I loved my niece like nothing else. She’s the sweetest little girl in the world. Cindy would bring her home and I would babysit her all the time.”

I smiled entertaining thoughts of Mark running after a crawling baby with clouds of baby-powder from when he tried to change it’s diaper. Mark holding the little girl’s hand while she took her first steps. “Maureen never struck me as the motherly type,” I said.

He made a small sound almost like a laugh, “That’s because she’s not.”

“I don’t think I’d make a very good mom.”

“Why’s that?”

“Too scared I’d turn out like my mother.” Who am I kidding? I thought. I could never have children. “Sure, I used to wonder what it would be like to have a baby when I was younger but getting sick kind of ruined any chances of that.” Why was I getting so defensive?

He stared at me, “I guess, but I’m sure if you really wanted to....one day....you could.”

I shrugged and drank the rest of my tea. Was it bad that I never really thought about having children? Was I bad for never wanting anything more out of my life? Mark was so different then me, he had dreams. He had goals in his life. Roger never asked me questions like that it just wasn’t that way between us, but Mark really seemed to care about those kinds of things in my life. But why? Why did he care about someone like me? I shook my head and shifted in my chair across from him, coming back to the present. “You never answered my quesition.”

“About what?”

“What happens now?” I asked

He didn’t answer.

I stood up suddenly furious, we’d kissed more then once only inches from this exact spot! “We can’t keep doing this! Mark, when I first met you I felt something between us. When you looked at me, you said I seemed familiar....I felt something with you.”

Mark stared at me for a long moment before getting up to refill his tea cup and sighed so quietly I don’t think I was supposed to hear it. “I felt it too.”