Engel(Angel)

A familiar smell, his smell, woke me up. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I knew I was safe, I was in his bed. Our bed. I took the dare and opened my eyes. It was dark out now and my head was throbbing. The bedroom door was open and I could see the light of the television flickering in the next room. I started to sit up and Till must have heard the commotion of the sheets and blankets. He came into the room and his beautiful eyes lit up seeing me wake from my unconsciousness. He explained to me that I had been knocked out by her, but she had been arrested. The thought of Ashley being held up in a jail cell in a foreign country made me smile, but I knew she had the money to get herself out of anything so the happiness was short lived.

"How did they find her?" I asked in a soft, half asleep voice. It hurt to speak, my own voice was to loud for this unmanageable headache.

"I saw her leave the building. I recognized her from a picture you had shown me."

He had ran up to my sold apartment and saw me lying on the floor. He had called the police and it didn't take them long to catch up with her. I assumed they would be sending her back to the states and felt safe. I was home now, and I could see by the pile of my belongings in the corner that Till had finished the job of moving me in.

He kissed me on the forehead and whipered goodnight as I fell back asleep in his arms.

***

It was gentle and gorgeous, as it always used to be. When thinking back on meeting him, moving in with him, being with him completely, I almost don't wish I'd never met him.

I almost don't regret saying the things i've said.

I almost want to be back in that time.

Almost.

It was always a magnificent relationship. Up until we got married. Up until he got famous. After a year and a half, I married this man who I was sure was my soul mate. The one I was supposed to be with. I remember the ceremony so well. It was small, but it was extravagant. I had my mother and my two closest friends flown out to Germany for the occasion, and Till had his close friends and family there. We looked over the mountains as we told each other and everyone attending of our eternal love for each other. Of our devotion.

And his success, it was amazing. He didn't need the money, and he had already had so much attention on him at almost all times. But it wasn't about that, he finally seemed happy. He had his music and lyrics, and he had me. We were lovers, best friends.

If I had known then what was to happen in the future, the actions and words that would take over my life completely, I would have walked away. I wouldn't have given that handsome man in the market my number. I would've left the store and pushed his dazzling face from my mind.

If I had known how cruel he could be, how bitter and pernicious he was, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't be broken inside. I wouldn't be sitting in a hotel room in Holland listening to my "soul mate" fucking another girl in the next room.

I could hear her screaming like she was being beaten, although she probably was. These days, if I wouldn't do what he requested, he would get what he wanted from someone else. I could only be go so far. I thought back to when he first pushed me into something.

***(Flashback)

I was early, I turned to snuggle Till, but found he wasn't in bed anymore. I had heard a knock on the door about a half an hour ago and wondered if it was Richard. I was almost sure he was supposed to be coming over today. Till had mentioned that they had a few things to talk about. Him and Richard had become very close since he decided to do vocals for the band. They were great friends and I was glad that Till had someone to hang out with besides me.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Till greeted me as he walked through the bedroom door. He walked over to my side of the bad and kissed my roughly.

"What was that for?" I said jokingly with a smirk.

He just smiled. He pulled over the chair we had in the room, he let it rest about four feet from the bed. Richard poked his head into the room and waved to me. I acknowledged him but I was curious. What were they up to?

Till motioned for Richard to come in.

"What's going on?" I was puzzled.

He leaned forward and kissed me again, much harder this time. His sweatpants were slightly bulging.

"I want to watch you with Richard..."

I wasn't sure if he meant what I thought he did. "What...?"

Till pointed Richard towards the bed. He came forward into the room and immediately I noticed he had the same bulge in his black jeans. He paused, looking to Till inquisitively for direction.

Till sat down in the chair he had positioned. "Well...?" He motioned to Richard to go to the bed...