All In The Family

When I awoke the next morning I was instantly aware of the unfamiliar weight upon my chest and without making any quick movements I shifted my head to look down at a sleeping Carrie. Even though I had made only the slightest change in my position she had stirred unconsciously in her sleep, nuzzling her head comfortably into the side of my neck.

I smiled to myself and instinctively slid my hand down the length of her arm and smoothed it over her back until it was resting in the curve. For a brief moment I felt a pinge of loneliness as a reality set in - I didn't have anyone in my life that I could do this with, nor had I had the feeling to even want it, until now. I had been so convinced that I was perfectly content with the lifestyle I was living, but it was clear now that I definitely missed the moments like these. A moment I was stealing with someone who didn't belong to me.

That final thought was enough to pull me out of my momentary dreamland and finally give me enough of a push to shrug myself out from under Carrie's body. She stirred again at the lack of contact this time and tiredly began to open her eyes, a heavy yawn leaving her mouth while she gazed up at me with a confused expression.

"What, does my breath stink?" she asked raspily, a hint of laughter in her sleepy tone.

Pushing my comforter off of me I tossed my legs over the side of the bed and stood and turned towards her, "No your breath smells fine. I just need to get up and shower so I can get dressed, find my brother, and get ready for this barbecue. Apparently it's such an important day," I responded with an eye roll.

She smiled at me while pushing into a sitting position on my bed, the comforter and sheet sliding down and uncovering the top of her thighs that were already spilling out of the shirt I had given her last night. It took everything I had inside of me to keep my eyes locked on hers.

"I didn't do anything stupid last night did I? Everything before our brief chat in bed is all a big blur to me," she admitted, placing a hand to her forehead.

I grinned, remembering bits of last night myself, "Unless you consider dancing on bar tops stupid, no, you behaved yourself fairly well," I teased, quickly dodging the pillow she tossed in my direction.

"Don't make fun. From what little I can remember you didn't behave yourself," she retorted, brow raised.

She had me there....somewhat.

I made a quick sour face, "Believe me, I behaved myself where it really mattered," I said with a nervous laugh.

Her brow remained raised as her face lit up with intrigue, "What do you mean by that?"

I shook my head, "It's nothing," I said quickly, deciding it'd be best to end that conversation there, "I'm gonna jump in the shower. You're more than welcome to..." I trailed off as she pushed up from my bed, the shirt momentarily exposing all of her thigh before falling down and covering the exposed skin again.

"Join you?" she quizzed playfully, "Don't write a check you can't cash," I warned eyeing her cautiously as I made a slow move towards my bathroom.

She remained silent, "I was going to say you're more than welcome to shower in the bathroom down the hall or wait til I'm finished. Either way is fine," I told her, finishing my previous sentence.

She nodded, "Thanks. I think I'll take one down the hall, that way people aren't waiting on me wondering where Jason's rude girlfriend is,"

"You aren't rude and no one thinks that or would think that. Take your time, I'll see you downstairs," I said, watching her nod at me before I slid into my bathroom.


*~*~*~*~*


Hands in the pockets of my holey jeans, I manuevered my way through my mother's kitchen, saying good morning to her in the process, before continuing out towards the back patio where I had a strong feeling I'd find my brother. Sliding the screen and glass doors shut behind me I stepped down onto the back deck and rounded the corner.

"Thought I'd find you out here, Clarkson," I said, making myself known to the back of my brother's head.

I watched his shoulders jerk a bit at my unexpected appearance, and continued to watch him smash his cigarette into the dirt, "You scared me," he admitted, pushing up from the floor of the deck.

"Yeah, I bet, you should be glad I wasn't mom. I thought you quit," I said, raising a brow as I smacked him on the shoulder.

He put his hand to his chest, "Ow, that hurt," I rolled my eyes, "You're such a pussy boy it's not even funny. That was a love tap. What did you wanna talk about?" I asked, deciding to just get right to the point.

"Carrie," he replied simply.

Oh shit. He knows. He totally knows I have the hots for his girlfriend and we're about to have us a good ole Clarkson sibling brawl.

I cleared my throat before trying to casually ask, "What about her?" I hope he didn't notice the slight pitch change in my voice.

"What do you think about her?" Make something up, tell him you hate her. Would he break up with her? I'd totally be in there then...stop, focus Kelly.

"Well, I hardly know the girl, but she seems nice. What does it matter what I think about her anyways? You've never asked me an opinion on your other girlfriends...well, besides Tracey, who turned out to be a total good-for-nothing bitch like I predicted," I pointed out.

My brother glared at me, "See, that's why I stopped asking your opinion, you're too-"

"Honest?" I cut in.

"Sure, we can use that word. But you know, I could say the exact same thing about a certain someone named Tiffany,"

I opened my mouth and then shut it again, "Touche. But also beside the point. We're discussing your miserable luck in the love department, not mine,"

He smiled slightly at me, "True. Well, um...I..." Was he seriously nervous right now? What the hell could he possibly be nervous about?

"Jase, just spit it out already," I commanded, growing a bit impatient with his stammering.

He took a deep breath before dropping the following bombshell, "I want to ask Carrie to marry me," Okay, I hadn't really seen that coming. God, I didn't see it coming.

"Um, are you...do you think that's what Carrie wants?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like I wasn't rooting for him - when in reality, I kind of wasn't. He just didn't have to know that.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not sure. I mean we've been dating for about half a year now, we're pretty much living together anyways neither of us just haven't taken the official step to actually completely move in with the other,"

"Yeah, but are you sure she wants to get married, Jase? Shit, are you sure you want to get married again? I mean moving in together is one step, marriage is on a whole other level. Have you guys even talked about marriage?" I continued to question. Trying to find any reason to get him to reconsider this...but why would I try to get him to do that? I will not sabatoge this relationship - his relationship with Carrie, or my relationship with him.

"Yeah, a little. Damn, Kell, way to give a guy cold feet," he said bitterly as he moved passed me for the door.

I turned quickly and took hold of his arm, "Jase, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you doubt things with her or anything. If you feel she's the one, then go on and ask her," I slid my hand down his arm and took his hand into my own, squeezing it for encouragement, "She'd be lucky to have you,"

"Thanks, Kell," he said excitedly, pulling me into a tight embrace, "I also have a small request," he whispered, slowly releasing me from his arms and holding onto my shoulders. I didn't like the look on his face.

"What?" I asked hesitantly, eyeing him carefully.

"Would you be my best man...or best woman...or whatever," I was dumbfounded, "What?! Jase, seriously don't you have friends who can do that? Male friends. And you have to ask the woman first, you don't even know if there will be a wedding," I pointed out.

He shook me by the shoulders, "I have friends, yes, but you and I have a way stronger bond than I have with any of them," Double shit. Way to put a major guilt trip on a girl without even realizing it.

I released a heavy sigh, "Fine, I'll do it," I caved, "But," I paused and pointed a finger in his face, "Only if I can wear some sexy kind of suit thing, I refuse to wear a dress, I don't care if you're my brother, I just won't do it," he laughed and cracked a wide smile, "You got it Clarkson," he said, releasing his grasp on my shoulders and pulling back so that we could both make a move for the door to go back inside the house.

I was royally fucked.


*~*~*~*~*


I had succesfully managed to avoid my brother and Carrie for a good majority of the morning, taking the opportunity to spend some quality time with my niece. Unfortunately for her, my mind was on other things besides the video game gazing back at me on the television scream. I was so frustrated with this whole Carrie/Jason thing, and I was no doubt taking out said frustrations on the plastic guitar clutched tightly in my hands.

"Oh yeah, who's the guitar champion!" I shouted out, doing a mini victory dance around the living room. Well, it seemed no matter how frustrated I was I was still very skilled at this damn game.

"Way to go, Kell, you managed to beat the hell out of an eight year old at Guitar Hero, how does that make you feel?" Ashley patrionized from the walk way of the kitchen.

I stuck my tongue out at her, real mature I know, and set the guitar down, "Hey, don't let her age or innocent little eyes fool you, the girl is good," I snapped, trying to defend myself.

Hailey set her guitar down too and stepped up beside me, "It's okay Aunt Kelly, I know you're just really competitive. It gives me that extra push to work harder at beating you next time," she said, smiling widely at me before slipping off into the kitchen.

I shook my head as I plopped down onto the couch, "See I told you. The little girl is the devil in disguise," I laughed, watching Ashley cross the living room and sit down beside me on the couch, "Yeah Kell, the girl is a real bonified Satan," she said sarcastically, slapping her hand down on my thigh.

"Mother f-"

"Time to eat, ya'll," My moms loud voice calling from the kitchen cut me off .

Ashley pushed up from the couch, "Saved by the call for barbecue," she moved to attempt to walk away but I grabbed her and she stopped, "You came out here for a reason," I pointed out, cocking my head to the side to study her face, "I was just seeing if you were still hiding," she told me.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "I'm not hiding," I lied, "I'm not. What would I be hiding from?" Ashley rolled her eyes while shaking her head, "You're pathetic. I'll give you a hint...starts with Ca, ends with arrie,"

Groaning I lowered my head in shame and burried my face in my hands, "God, I am pathetic. I've never been this hung up on someone before," I stopped her before she could say anything, "Besides her," I said quickly, knowing she was going to mention Tiffany.

I removed my hands from my face and lifted my head, "He's going to ask her to marry him," I told her, filling her in on the big secret.

"Oh damn, Kell, I'm sorry," Ashley said sympathetically, "I know this must be hard for you. The one time you feel a connection with someone and become semi flustered, the girl is with your brother,"

I shut my eyes and sighed, "Not helping, Ash," I grunted.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly, "How are your feelings now?" she questioned, "In check, like always. I just have to shut them off, I can do that. I'm good at shutting off feelings,"

She lifted a brow, "One word...Tiffany. You're so not good at keeping feelings in check,"

"Ugh, will ya'll please stop bringing her up. I know, she was a bad decision, stop bringing it up every two seconds," I begged, slipping past my best friend and moving towards the kitchen, Ashley close behind me.

When we entered we were met with a loud burst of cheering, "Let me see it, honey!" My mom shouted, making an almost mad dash from the stove to the other side of the kitchen where my brother stood beside Carrie, arm linked around her waist.

Carrie held her left hand out and offered a polite smile, "Aw, it's absolutely beautiful. Congratulations you two," my mom said, excitedly pulling them towards her and placing big kisses on both of their cheeks.

For a moment Carrie's eyes drifted across the kitchen and met mine from where I was standing in the walk way, still not completely inside of the kitchen. I swallowed hard and turned quickly, colliding with Ashley, "In check, remember?" she whispered, turning me back towards my family.

"Right," I whispered back, pausing to take a deep breath, "Right," I repeated firmly, trying to be a bit more convincing as I spoke the words. Even as I said them out loud, I knew my feelings were far from in check, but I knew, or at least was hoping, that my loyalty to my brother would prevent me from ever crossing that line.