When Love & Hate Collide

Whistling to himself, Joel shoved his hands in his pockets, his mind racing as he walked into the park. A giddy feeling rushed through him as he relived his kiss with Billy, one finger running over his lower lip as he grinned. “Wow,” he whispered to himself, laughing quietly. His heart was racing, his stomach doing somersaults and there was a definite stirring in his pants. He felt his cheeks heat up and took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself down. His head shot up when he heard someone calling his name. He looked around; turning on the spot but couldn’t see anything. Frowning, he shook his head and started walking again, crying out at a sharp pain to the back of his leg. Another followed and he stumbled to the floor, a third small rock landing on the grass next to him.

“What the fuck?” He winced as he slowly pulled himself to his feet. He glanced around but couldn’t see anyone. “Okaaay…” Another hesitant glance around him and he started walking again, limping slightly.

“What’s the matter, Madden?” Joel stopped, looking over his shoulder when his name was called. “Think you forgot something” A black clad figured emerged from the bushes and picked Joel’s bag up, throwing it hard at him.

“Looks like someone’s forgotten his manners,” another voice laughed, this one from behind him.

Joel span around, clutching his bag to his chest as he watched more and more black-clad figures coming out of the bushes and surrounding him. ‘This does not look good’ he thought, stomach sinking, his breathing speeding him as panic coursed through him. There were 7 of them in total, all dressed the same way; black jeans, black long-sleeved tops and black balaclavas obscuring their faces.

The colour draining from his face Joel shook his head, slowly stepping backwards, not taking his eyes off of them. When they didn’t make any moves, he took a deep breath, turned and started running as fast as he could. He could hear them behind him; hear their footfalls as they chased him. Drawing on resources he didn’t know he had, he carried on running, his chest burning, his heart thumping in his ears; sometimes he wished he was more athletic, more like Benji, and this one definitely one of those times.

“Sorry fag,” they told him as they grabbed hold of him. “You’re not going any fucking where. Got it?”

“What?” Joel grunted as one of them grabbed his arms and pulled them behind his back. “No! Get off me!” He started struggling against the grip on him and opened his mouth to scream when one of them backhanded him hard across the face, leaving his ears ringing and stars dancing in front of his eyes.

“Gonna scream like a little girl, were you Joel?” One of them taunted Joel, pulling his arm back and punching him hard in the stomach. The air left Joel’s lungs in a whoosh and he doubled over in pain, held upright by the grip on his arms.

“Fuck you!” Joel spat, continuing to struggle against them, kicking at their legs, a satisfying crack meeting his ears as the gang member behind him fell to the floor. Another one of them grabbed him before he could run, a kick to the back of his knees felling him. He grabbed Joel’s arm and pulled him to his feet, twisting his arm behind his back.

“That was a very stupid thing to do, queer boy.” One of them snarled, advancing toward him, slapping a baseball bat against the palm of his hand. “Now you can either apologise or we’ll make you very very sorry. Now, which one is it?”

Joel swallowed hard, blinking back the tears he could feel pricking at his eyelids. He stared stony faced, refusing to answer to them, still struggling against the grip on his arms. He was sure he recognised the voice of the guy that was speaking to him, but there was too much else racing through his head to put a name to it.

“Looks like we’re doing it our way then,” he sneered advancing on Joel. He raised the baseball bat and slammed it hard into Joel’s stomach, then on his back as he fell to the floor. Kicking him in the side, he rolled him onto his stomach, foot pressing down on his chest. “What a shame!” He stepped back and motioned to the rest of the gang. “I think you know what to do with the little fag!”

Silent tears tracked down Joel’s face and he curled into himself, trying desperately to protect himself as the gang advanced on him. He cried out wordlessly as he was assaulted by a volley of kicks and punches. The gang members’ laughter echoed in his ears as they pulled him to his feet, holding upright while they swung baseball bats, his wrist cracking audibly as the bone broke. He moaned as they dropped him to the floor, his head smacking on the concrete as he held his wrist tight against his chest. Blood joined the tears and snot streaming down his face, black invading his eyes as his vision swam.

He didn’t even realise that the attack had stopped until he was grabbed by his throat and pulled to his feet. The hand around his neck tightened until he was struggling to breathe, quiet whimpers leaving his bloody lips.

“You’re pathetic, Joel!”

Joel’s eyes widened as he recognised the voice as Benji‘s. He tried to shake his head. “No,” he moaned.

“Oh yes.” Benji nodded. “It’s me.” He pulled off his balaclava and dropped it to the floor. “And you are pathetic - look at you. A pathetic gay boy excuse for a boy. I’m so fucking ashamed to know you. Crying like a baby girl. I told you what would happen if you carried on hanging around with the likes of Thomas & Martin. At least Wilson & Lovato had the fucking sense to not be around you any more!”

“No, Benj…”

“Shut the fuck up, bro!” Benji growled in his face, back handing him hard. “I’m talking here, not you. You fucking disgust me,” he said softly, spitting in Joel’s face before dropping him hard to the floor. “Let’s get out of here,” he said to his gang, lighting up a cigarette, his hands in his pockets as they all went their separate ways, leaving Joel.

“Benji, no… please, Benji…” Joel whimpered as another wave of pain and nausea crashed through him. Bile rose up his throat and his eyes slid closed as the darkness pulled him into its embrace.