Alchemy
folder
My Chemical Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
4,105
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
My Chemical Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
4,105
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Poison Heart
Title: Alchemy, Part 6: Poison Heart
Author: ChemicalMuse
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Confrontations.
You still haven't seen Mikey. Or Gerard. Or anybody else in the band. Not that you really want to talk to anybody. You know you've got to confront Gerard, sooner or later. This isn't something that can just fade away.
And you've got to make a choice. But it really isn't a choice, is it? You know how you feel. One of them has to get hurt. And you know who it'll be.
But that doesn't mean it isn't going to tear you apart.
You've always been close to Gerard. Even before you were lovers. He's always been somebody you could go to when you needed to talk, somebody who would listen. He's been there when you needed a friend, talked you through depressions, made you feel better about so many things in your life.
He's been there for you since the day you met. Picked you up when you were feeling down. Made you laugh when you didn't think you could ever smile again. He's held you when you cried.
The first time you slept together, it felt so natural. There wasn't any anticipation, there wasn't any feeling of urgency. It wasn't furtive, or secretive. It just felt right. He'd taken your clothes off so slowly, his hands and his mouth worshipping every inch of your body. If you close your eyes, you can still remember exactly how it felt.
You knew even from the first that you didn't feel as strongly as he did. But you didn't want to hurt him. You couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes if you told him that you didn't want to be with him like that. He'd been so good to you. He'd been the one guy in your life who'd really loved you.
So you lived a lie. Well, not entirely a lie. You do love Gerard. You do. Just not as much as he loves you. Because in the deepest, most secret part of your heart, it's always been Mikey. The one you couldn't have, the impossible dream. The dream that's somehow come true all at once .... and left you feeling like you've been thrown in at the deep end without knowing how to swim.
You've been together a year. For you, that's a long time. A year that you've felt safe and protected in his arms. A year that he's held you, kissed you, made love to you. A year that he's loved you.
"Frankie."
Your head jerks up and your eyes meet Gerard's. You can't speak, can't move. You're rooted to that spot, his eyes holding you down like a butterfly on a pin.
"G-Gee." Your voice is shaking, you can't control it. Your hands are too, and you clench them together in front of you in a desperate attempt to keep them still.
He's leaning toward you, backing you against the side of the bus. His body is so close he's almost touching you. You can feel the heat of his skin, and for one crazy second you think if he touches you his hands will sear the flesh off your bones.
"What the hell d'you think you're doing?" His words are slurred, and you realize with a sinking heart that he's drunk. Gerard hasn't been drinking lately. He's been so good about staying away from the booze. Mainly because you asked him to. You didn't just ask. You begged and pleaded, because you couldn't stand to see him so messed up he didn't know what was going on.
Maybe this afternoon would've been a damn good time for him to have been messed up. That thought is only there for a split second. But it's branded into your mind. Another guilty thought to add to all the others.
"Gee, you're drunk." It even sounds pathetic to your own ears. But it's all you can think of to say. Yeah, state the obvious.
He laughs, a bitter, hollow sound. "So I am. Wow. You noticed. Unbelievable." He's closer now, his body literally pressing you back against the side of the bus. You look up at him, eyes wide, swallowing hard.
"I always notice stuff about you." His face darkens, a frown sweeping across his features. Wrong thing to say. Why the fuck can't you just keep your mouth shut?
"I notice stuff about you too, Frankie. Like the fact that my little brother was fucking you today. You two didn't think I'd find out? You thought you could hide it from me?" His face is very close to yours now, his lips almost touching yours.
You still don't know what to say, so you just don't say anything. You just keep looking at him, hoping that his anger will fade away.
But it doesn't. His voice lowers, turns menacing. He leans against you, effectively pinning you against the bus, grabbing your wrists.
"You're mine, Frankie. Mine. I don't share. And I don't play well with others."
This isn't Gerard. Not the Gerard you know. It's not the guy who's been yours for the last year, not the guy who's held you and kissed you and made love to you. That person's somewhere far away from here, burned away in a haze of liquor and anger. This a stranger. And he scares the fuck out of you.
"Gerard, stop it. Let me go. Gerard!" You're squirming, struggling to get away from him. But he's bigger than you. Fuck, everybody's bigger than you. Even Mikey, thin as he is.
In one smooth motion, he's got you turned away from him, the front of your body pressed up against the side of the bus, his voice hissing in your ear. "Shut up, Frankie. Just shut up. You deserve this."
You give up struggling, rest your head against the side of the bus, let him press his body against yours from behind. He won't do this. This isn't Gerard. No matter how drunk he is, he'd never hurt you like this. This is the liquor, the pain he's feeling. The pain you caused him.
You do deserve it. That's the only thought in your mind. Whatever "it" is. And you've got an awful sinking feeling that you already know.
You just pray it won't make you hate him.
And hate yourself even more.
Author: ChemicalMuse
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Confrontations.
You still haven't seen Mikey. Or Gerard. Or anybody else in the band. Not that you really want to talk to anybody. You know you've got to confront Gerard, sooner or later. This isn't something that can just fade away.
And you've got to make a choice. But it really isn't a choice, is it? You know how you feel. One of them has to get hurt. And you know who it'll be.
But that doesn't mean it isn't going to tear you apart.
You've always been close to Gerard. Even before you were lovers. He's always been somebody you could go to when you needed to talk, somebody who would listen. He's been there when you needed a friend, talked you through depressions, made you feel better about so many things in your life.
He's been there for you since the day you met. Picked you up when you were feeling down. Made you laugh when you didn't think you could ever smile again. He's held you when you cried.
The first time you slept together, it felt so natural. There wasn't any anticipation, there wasn't any feeling of urgency. It wasn't furtive, or secretive. It just felt right. He'd taken your clothes off so slowly, his hands and his mouth worshipping every inch of your body. If you close your eyes, you can still remember exactly how it felt.
You knew even from the first that you didn't feel as strongly as he did. But you didn't want to hurt him. You couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes if you told him that you didn't want to be with him like that. He'd been so good to you. He'd been the one guy in your life who'd really loved you.
So you lived a lie. Well, not entirely a lie. You do love Gerard. You do. Just not as much as he loves you. Because in the deepest, most secret part of your heart, it's always been Mikey. The one you couldn't have, the impossible dream. The dream that's somehow come true all at once .... and left you feeling like you've been thrown in at the deep end without knowing how to swim.
You've been together a year. For you, that's a long time. A year that you've felt safe and protected in his arms. A year that he's held you, kissed you, made love to you. A year that he's loved you.
"Frankie."
Your head jerks up and your eyes meet Gerard's. You can't speak, can't move. You're rooted to that spot, his eyes holding you down like a butterfly on a pin.
"G-Gee." Your voice is shaking, you can't control it. Your hands are too, and you clench them together in front of you in a desperate attempt to keep them still.
He's leaning toward you, backing you against the side of the bus. His body is so close he's almost touching you. You can feel the heat of his skin, and for one crazy second you think if he touches you his hands will sear the flesh off your bones.
"What the hell d'you think you're doing?" His words are slurred, and you realize with a sinking heart that he's drunk. Gerard hasn't been drinking lately. He's been so good about staying away from the booze. Mainly because you asked him to. You didn't just ask. You begged and pleaded, because you couldn't stand to see him so messed up he didn't know what was going on.
Maybe this afternoon would've been a damn good time for him to have been messed up. That thought is only there for a split second. But it's branded into your mind. Another guilty thought to add to all the others.
"Gee, you're drunk." It even sounds pathetic to your own ears. But it's all you can think of to say. Yeah, state the obvious.
He laughs, a bitter, hollow sound. "So I am. Wow. You noticed. Unbelievable." He's closer now, his body literally pressing you back against the side of the bus. You look up at him, eyes wide, swallowing hard.
"I always notice stuff about you." His face darkens, a frown sweeping across his features. Wrong thing to say. Why the fuck can't you just keep your mouth shut?
"I notice stuff about you too, Frankie. Like the fact that my little brother was fucking you today. You two didn't think I'd find out? You thought you could hide it from me?" His face is very close to yours now, his lips almost touching yours.
You still don't know what to say, so you just don't say anything. You just keep looking at him, hoping that his anger will fade away.
But it doesn't. His voice lowers, turns menacing. He leans against you, effectively pinning you against the bus, grabbing your wrists.
"You're mine, Frankie. Mine. I don't share. And I don't play well with others."
This isn't Gerard. Not the Gerard you know. It's not the guy who's been yours for the last year, not the guy who's held you and kissed you and made love to you. That person's somewhere far away from here, burned away in a haze of liquor and anger. This a stranger. And he scares the fuck out of you.
"Gerard, stop it. Let me go. Gerard!" You're squirming, struggling to get away from him. But he's bigger than you. Fuck, everybody's bigger than you. Even Mikey, thin as he is.
In one smooth motion, he's got you turned away from him, the front of your body pressed up against the side of the bus, his voice hissing in your ear. "Shut up, Frankie. Just shut up. You deserve this."
You give up struggling, rest your head against the side of the bus, let him press his body against yours from behind. He won't do this. This isn't Gerard. No matter how drunk he is, he'd never hurt you like this. This is the liquor, the pain he's feeling. The pain you caused him.
You do deserve it. That's the only thought in your mind. Whatever "it" is. And you've got an awful sinking feeling that you already know.
You just pray it won't make you hate him.
And hate yourself even more.