She's Holding On My Heart

*KATIE’S POV*

5
I stared blankly at my pale reflection in the mirror. I smelt the lingering scent of vomit as I perched myself on the lid of the toilet seat. Clutching my stomach I slowly rocked back and forth. I felt sick to my stomach, what had we done?

4
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time was going by so slowly; the clock deadened me with every passing second. Tick. Tock. Every sound shook through my body as I sat in silence just waiting. Waiting for what? An answer? A conclusion? I didn’t even know what I wanted.

3
I tore off a piece of tissue from the role and dabbed my eyes. I paced up and down the tiled floor. Bang Bang! I jumped and clutched onto the basin “Katie are you okay in there?” Billies voice rang through me. I took a deep breath and coughed to clear my throat. “I’m fine” I spoke silently back trying to sound normal through the shakiness in my voice.

2
Come on, come on, come on, come on! I clutched my head in my hands. What am I worrying for? Ill be fine, I am fine. No I’m not. I can’t keep lying to myself.

1
tears spread down my cheeks as I slowly broke down, maybe I didn’t need to know all the answers, not yet anyway. What am I doing to myself? I’m locked in my bathroom, crying thinking my whole worlds over.

0
My whole world is over. Fuck. Billie’s not going to want this, he’s told me before. He doesn’t want it, its not his thing. Everything adds up now, the vomiting, my slightly swollen belly, my lack of appetite for certain foods. Why hadn’t I thought of it? What am I going to do? Bang Bang! “Katie please, you’ve been in there for over twenty minutes, you’re scaring me!” I heard Billies voice. I was scaring myself not just him. I took the test in my hands and threw it in the trash. I washed my face and practiced my smile. I would tell him. Just not yet.

The longest five minutes of my life are over.