The One I Love
...my precious, loved one
Bam tried to wipe away his tears, and moved to sluggishly toss himself onto Ville's bed.
"I don't know why I bother feeling this way anymore...I guess I can't help but love him..." Bam mumbled to himself as he lay his head down on the pillow. He fell into a hazy sleep, wishing he could escape into his dreams forever.
Ville slowly poked his head out of the closet door to see Bam sleeping somewhat peacefully. He quietly put everything back in the case and hid it again, before opening the closet door. It creaked a bit and he cringed looking up at Bam. Bam turned over, facing away from him, still asleep. He crawled out of the closet and shut the door a bit, then crawled slowly across the floor until he reached the door. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally reached the living room. Bam was still sound asleep in the other room.
Now he was left alone with his thoughts.
Everyone hates me...how could Bam love me? Because, he answered himself. Because he doesn't know. He doesn't know what a terrible person I am. He doesn't know that everyone left me. He doesn't...
Ville sunk to the floor in front of the couch. He put his head in his hands. He knew his life was screwed up and wrong. But how could the mere love of a kid from West Chester fix everything? He was sure he was too far gone for help. It was all his fault he ended up this way...he should have known it would turn out like this. He couldn't fall in love. It was impossible now...From his experience, love didn't exist anymore. He didn't even know anymore why he wrote the songs he did. Love Metal was just a joke to him now.
He lit up a cigarette and took a long drag off of it. My life is a joke, he thought. Why bother anymore...why bother with anything anymore?
He let his thoughts drift into nothingness as he watched the smoke from his cigarette rise in the air. It was easy to not feel anything if you didn't think about it. It would be like it was never there at all. He leaned his head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. It was much easier to just think of nothing...to just be nothing. So much easier...