The Winter Guest *Complete*

Disclaimer: The song ‘Je t’aimais, je t’aime, je t’aimerais’ lyrics and song belong to Francis Cabrel





Chapter 6



The bathroom was filled with steam. After Alan’s quick escape I sat on my balcony in a bewildered state. Not grasping any of the things that had happened this morning. The horrible sensation in the forest, and then that kiss. That smooth, sensual so perfect kiss, not fast and full of longing but gentle and lovingly. As I undressed I watched myself in the mirror. It really had been a long time since I had made love to a man. Come to think of it, that kiss was the closest to any sensual sensation I had in the past couple of years. But what shocked me the most, was that I had actually enjoyed it. Of course I had met some men after London, and some of them were really nice, but as soon as any intimacy intervened I backed out. But this kiss made me want more. I wanted to be kissed by Alan, over and over, forever and ever.



As I lowered in the tub, the hot water felt smooth to my skin. Cleansing. In the back of my mind tough, my thoughts continued. Why couldn’t he continue? Was he married? Was I not attractive? Had I been using him? The whole situation, him comforting me, and me throwing myself in his arms? What should I do now? Corner him and confront him with these questions? Sit back and wait? Of course I didn’t want him to feel bad, so I decided it was up to him if he wanted to take this further. Even if it meant hurting myself by not seeing him.



After a few days I was pretty good at avoiding Alan. We saw each other sometimes in the mornings or evenings as he departed to the set. Unable to speak in private, either because I was working or he was with colleagues. Every time I saw him my heart jumped, but I controlled myself.







It was Friday night and the hotel was quiet. The crew had the weekend of and most actors had flown back home last night to spend a weekend with their families or friends. Alan hadn’t left. Winter time was setting in slowly and even here in the south the nights got colder, the wind was stronger and the sun was weakening.

I was just deciding if I was going to cook or put a pizza in the oven. But as I was hopelessly miserable at the first I turned on the oven. A soft knock at the door gave me a shiver.

I knew already before I had opened it that of course it would be Alan. I opened and his dark eyes looked at me.



“Can I come in? I want to say sorry for what happened the other night. I got a bit carried away. It shouldn’t have happened.”



Why the hell shouldn’t it have happened? That little angry voice was back in my head again.



“ I brought you this…” He held up a bottle of red wine. I saw it was a good one.

“It’ll go perfect with your uhm…pizza?”



I had to laugh, “ Well, yes not very haute cuisine is it?” holding the carton package of the pizza. “ But I have one for you if you haven’t eaten yet?



“ I’d love to.”



So adding another pizza for Alan, and setting the table in silence, he opened the bottle of wine and pored two glasses. We didn’t say much but it wasn’t uncomfortable.



As I turned to my old CD player and pressed play wondering what music would be in there, I heard the soft tunes of Francis Cabrel, my favourite French singer, filling the room.



“ Nice, “ he said a minute later, “ I haven’t got a clue what he’s singing but it sounds really truthful.”



As we sat at the big table eating our pizza and drinking our wine. I looked at him. The pizza didn’t suit him, the wine did. He saw me looking and I smiled.



“ Why have you been avoiding me for the last days?” He asked all of a sudden.



“ Why did you stop kissing me?” My response was fast and, so I hoped, painless.



He smiled. He was so beautiful like that. “ I didn’t want to make you do things you didn’t want, and maybe, I thought you were…well… see Kate, I am an old man. Don’t tell me otherwise, I’m easily twice your age. I shouldn’t take advantage of a position like that.”



“ You think I’m too young?” I couldn’t believe it. Was he telling me I was a little girl, like a teacher telling his student their love is impossible.



“No, I just think, I didn’t want to use your…” he said it very carefully “temporary weakness.”



I didn’t know what to say to this. All I knew was I wanted this man so badly that it hurt in my head, my heart, my lips and my stomach.

“ But I had to see you again. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”



Silence fell between us again. This time it was uncomfortable.



“ Do you wanna dance?” He asked me casually as if we were not in a kitchen eating pizza.



I got up and one of his hands grapped mine, the other on my back pulling me close. He was taller than me. My head barely touched his chin. I put my head to his chest, inhaling his scent, listening to his heart.



“What’s he singing?” I could feel him talking.



“L'amour comme s'il en pleuvait”



“ Love is like it’s raining”



“Nu sur les galets”



“Naked on the waves”



“Je t’aimais, je t’aime, je t’aimerais”



“ I loved you, I love you, I will love you”



“Quoi que tu fasses, l'amour est partout ou tu regardes”



“Whatever you do, love is everywhere you look.”



“That is really beautiful.” And as the words of Francis finished and the music took over I wrapped my hands around Alan’s neck. Slowly pulling him down. His eyes meeting mine. His hand let go of mine and within a second I felt it trailing down my spine. I shivered to his touch. My mouth found his, and gently I kissed his lips, his jaw, his ears, his eyes, he tasted so good. His lips searched mine and I felt his tongue discovering my mouth. His kiss was hot, but gentle, so soft. A gentle moan left my throat as I pressed myself against him. One of his hands was cupping a breast and even through the fabric of the top I was wearing, his thumb felt hot and my nipple immediately responded.



As his mouth moved to my neck I let my fingers slide through his hair.

“Oh Alan, you better make up your mind, because if you stop now, I’ll die of lust.”



“I already made up my mind the moment I laid eyes on you.” His heart was beating faster and he let his hand slide under my top. Everywhere he touched me it seemed he left burning marks. Pulling the top over my head and with one skilled move he removed my bra. My nipples hardened even more the moment his breath touched them. His tongue tracing them was making me weak to my knees. One moment later I was lifted of my feet, pulled my legs around his waist, and he carried me to my bed. Gently placing me there, he took of his shirt as his tongue continued to trace down from my lips, to my neck, to my collar bone, my breasts, stomach, belly button. Finally reaching my jeans. He looked up at me.



“ Are you sure?” I nodded yes and he removed my jeans, leaving my pink knickers on. He took of his own pants and I saw the arousal in his black boxers. He lay on the bed on his side and I settled in his arms. His hands feeling my body, kissing my neck.



I couldn’t take it much longer. “Please Alan,” my voice sounded weak, “ touch me.” I could feel his stiffness near my hip as his hand stroked my upper leg. Finally he touched the lace of my knickers which must have been soaking wet. He gently pushed his fingers inside my knickers and I heard myself breath faster to his touch. I didn’t want him to stop, but I wanted to feel him to. I turned facing him, his hand still down my panties, and let my own hand trail down his torso. He gasped for breath and his eyes flung open as I suddenly grabbed his throbbing penis through his boxers. One of his fingers found my wet entrance and gently pushed inside. It was my turn to gasp now. His other hand pulled my face towards him, allowing him to once again kiss me a little fiercer now as he got more aroused.



My hand found a way inside his boxers and I enclosed my hand around his very stiff penis. He shivered and a moan escaped his lips. Slowly moving up and down, his fingers soon caught my rhythm and gently rubbed my clit with his thumb as two more fingers were pushed inside of me. Moving together on a perfect rhythm, our tongues joined I felt a magical feeling enlarging in my stomach. I couldn’t kiss properly as my senses overwhelmed me. I felt Alan’s breath against my cheek. Softly telling me to go on. We moved faster and faster, sensations becoming greater and greater.



His hand found my hair and he grabbed a handful as I felt his body harden, a low grunt filled the room as he exploded in my hand. His fingers stopped for a second. I couldn’t bare it. “No, don’t stop Alan, please… please…” breathing fast I moved my hips to his hand and a second after him joined him in the utter bliss of the climax. Shaking a little I floated back to earth. Alan kissed me on my forehead and as I rolled again in his arms I felt my body relax and our heart rates slowing down. And lying in his arms I finally fell asleep. Satisfied and feeling so safe.